To not want to send a voice note on whatsapp to someone I've just exchanged numbers with on a dating app

[Forfucksake84]

Anyone else hate sending voice notes? Especially to people you don't know. I just find them awkward and embarrassing, and would much rather text but he keeps asking me

I prefer texting as well. I hate voice notes because they take longer and you have to faff around with earbuds, etc. That said, if someone asked for one, I'd probably do it. It's not like he's asking for nude pics, it's a fairly innocuous suggestion.

I bloody hate them.

People waffle on forever giving loads of details. I often have to replay them ten times to make sure I haven’t missed something because my hearing isn’t all that.

Either ring me or send me a written message.

Has he said he prefers to communicate via voice note, or specifically that he wants you to do that for him? If the latter, I would find it far too early on for him to be making requests.

Both. He has sent several waffly voice notes, and has asked me to send one. I said i prefer texts as I dislike sending voice notes and I'm shy. And he's just saying that I should just be confident and send one

How much do you think you might be interested in him? It seems like a pretty fundamental difference in preferences when you’re getting to know each other - one of you will always feel uncomfortable or like your opinion hasn’t been considered.

Im not sure I’d put up with it longer term either, to be honest. I’d have probably divorced DH by now if he communicated by voice note.

Tell him you don’t like voice notes.

He should be jumping through hoops at this stage not telling you what to do!

Yeah he doesn't get to pressure you like that. Asking once is totally fair, but multiple times really isn't on.

I'm of the view that voice notes are always highly convenient for the sender and incredibly inconvenient for the receiver. You have to keep listening back, finding a private place to play them outloud etc, and like you say the senders always tend to waffle. I actually find them quite low effort and rude.

Stick to your guns with a warm and breezey "not my style, sorry!" and if he doesn't want to meet you purely because you won't send one then be prepared to move on.

Oh FFS tell him to jog on.

You’ve already said no, he shouldn’t be fucking pressuring you to do anything you’re not comfortable doing even if it’s only a voice note. Just smacks of him wanting control.

I wouldn't send anyone a voice note, ever.

Have you met him?

I spent a few months getting to know someone online in the early days of such contact becoming possible. I was absolutely convinced we'd make a great pair until driving about 200 miles to meet him, and the minute I heard his voice I knew it was a disaster.

I can understand him wanting to hear you speak, it conveys so much about a personality.

Why does he get to put what he wants above what you're comfortable with?

Just say no, I'm not doing that. It shouldn't matter. If it does, he doesn't.

He probably wants to make sure you're not a bloke?

I’d go so far as to say this is a red flag!

I can’t be doing with voicenote people. They refuse to summarise anything or get to the fucking point, just ramble on inanely for aaaaaaaages. Drives me mad.

Sorry if pp think I’m being dramatic but!
in today’s world of AI, I would definitely hesitate to leave a voice note… you really don’t know this person and with the ‘right’ (wrong!) technology your voice can be manipulated to say anything in any context 😳

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. End of story.

Would a compromise work? Maybe say you don’t like voice notes but will agree to a chat?

He doesn’t get to dictate to you and should accept if you don’t want to send voice notes. Sorry but it’s a 🚩 for me.

I think the sound of someone’s voice is important. I was put off someone hearing their voice on the phone. It’s no different to a phone call. I would want to know more about someone before bothering to meet them

Just free yourself. No means no.

How odd!

Do you also get them to write a letter to check their grammar and spelling is up to scratch?

I think it's fine to say you don't do voice notes but I can understand wanting to actually speak to someone or hear their voice before you meet just to make sure they are vaguely who they say they are. However if you've only just exchanged numbers then there's no rush. I'm sure you can speak on the phone before meeting if that's how things progress. Do what you feel comfortable with.

I hate voice notes. If he kept pushing it, I’d stop bothering with him. He sounds annoying.

I don’t like voice notes, but would be happy to have a chat before going to meet someone I’d met online.

Tell him to fuck off and stop pressuring you. Dick. I hate voice notes too.