To not want to send a voice note on whatsapp to someone I've just exchanged numbers with on a dating app

[Forfucksake84]

Anyone else hate sending voice notes? Especially to people you don't know. I just find them awkward and embarrassing, and would much rather text but he keeps asking me

It’s not on for him to tell you how you “should be”. What is wrong with him picking up the phone and actually ringing you? All this voice note malarkey!

Perhaps he wants to find out if you pronounce 'th'.

This. Ffs.

Why is what I said odd?

If she doesn’t want to send a voice note she shouldn’t have to 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, that was meant for @2Rebecca!

I tell people straight away that I dont listen to voice notes. I dont have headphones and I cant be asked hiding somewhere to listen to it every time someone sends a message. Stop being so fucking lazy, or call me instead.

Voice notes are definitely a "thing" in the online dating world (for those who don't know this and think it's a weird thing to ask for). They completely make sense as often as soon as you hear someone talking you know if you might be attracted to them or not, so it can save on weeks of pointless texting and then travelling to meet. However, if you don't want to, you shouldn't have to! I had a date with someone who wanted me to Zoom first- it totally made sense but I wasn't up for it and he respected this.

Is there a reason that voice notes are preferred over a phone call? It seems like that would slow the conversation compared to a call or even exchanging messages?

@Pirandello2404 They weren’t a thing when I briefly did online dating, albeit several years ago now. Thankfully.

Yes this doesn’t make sense to me.

Never left a voice note and never done a FaceTime. I’ve had people send me voice notes and I reply with a text. Hate them with a passion

Agree. I’ll happily have a phone call before a date but never a voice note or a FaceTime.

You shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do, it’s that simple.

I hate voice notes too. You’ve stated a boundary, if he keeps insisting, take it as a red flag.

Voice notes are shit! I have to either listen to them in private or put my headphones in. If I'm listening to music then the music stops to listen to the shit waffle.

It sometime feels like people don't want to organise their thoughts enough to compose a text so speak it out. Either message me or call me - I can't be dealing with voice notes.

Yuck.

I hate voice notes.

Had XP and I exchanged voice notes, I'd never have met him.

Stick to your guns @Forfucksake84

@123ZYX @Plastictreees I think it can feel awkward/ embarrassing to have a phone call with someone you don't know so a voice note lets you into their world a bit without you having to engage with them. I think that's why Hinge has introduced an option to leave a voice note on your profile- if you can hear someone's voice you can more easily work out if you might like them. It's time saving as one voice message can save on weeks of texting before meeting for the date, and then realising you're not interested.

Just to say, I've never done this!

@Pirandello2404 I would find this considerably more cringe and awkward than a phone call. I wouldn’t make a decision to date someone or not based on a voice note!

I do this as well; I always respond to voice notes with texts, from friends and family, as well as potential love interests.

Maybe his spelling is really bad (that would put me off).

YABU

Voice notes are the most underused feature. The written word can be misinterpreted so easily as you can't hear someone's voice. So much nuance is lost with text.

Hearing someone's voice is so much better.

This was my first thought. He might be concerned you're a catfish.

However, if don't feel comfortable then don't. It's up to him if he wants to proceed on that basis.

compromise, arrange a call or a whatsapp and stick to text for the rest.

I prefer voice notes with people I am close too, can't be bothered to text and it's usually a conversation, not a brief 2 lines. When it's someone you date, you like the voice!

What else should she do for a relative stranger that she's not comfortable with, just because it's not an objectively outrageous request?

Why not just ring each other, if you want a conversation?
I think of voice notes as being like a message on an answering machine ' just say it in real time to the person.