To think neighbour changed her mind

[ForZanyTraybake]

My neighbour asked me to go to flower arranging with her in the community centre. I agreed and she called for me and we went together. The following week was bank holiday but she said she'd call me and we'd go out for the day. The call never came. Last week I waited for her to call for me for flower arranging as agreed but she walked past and didn't look in. Same thing this week only ten minutes into the flower arranging she text me and said she forgot to call for me and was I going round. I've ignored the text as I think she didn't want to see me and for whatever reason has now changed her mind. This is a very intelligent woman in her forties with no clear signs of Alzheimer's. Aibu to not trust her.

Just go yourself. End of drama.

So you watched her walk past and didn't open the window and say anything about it?

Maybe she no longer wants to do the flower arranging, and feels embarrassed to tell you.

Why can’t you contact her and make the arrangement?

Why does she need to call for you? Aren’t you capable of going on your own? Maybe she doesn’t want to be lumbered with someone who’s needy.

Because that was the arrangement! I'm not needy, I just think it's off that she didn't call 3 times when she said she would!

I am so confused as to why you needed to be picked up by your neighbour. Could you not have met her there? Did you only go to the flower arranging sessions because of her?

Because that was the arrangement.

Talk about cutting your nose off to spite your face OP. Yabu.

She's probably tired of being the one who has to make arrangements every time.

Get some fire on your belly and call or text her and arrange something.

You are either too passive or too entitled, neither is a good thing.

I barely know the woman, it's the first thing I've done with her and we went once!

Ok, so she’s suggested you go with her to flower arranging and she called for you so surely it’s your turn to make the arrangements this time?

Why are you narky with her when she’s putting in all the effort and you’re waiting around like Lady Muck?

I think your neighbour basically went once with you but does not want to use the mental energy of arranging it with you every week. As she doesn't know you well maybe she was investing in getting to know you but wants it to be reciprocated with you suggesting ideas too. For the bank holiday weekend maybe she was hoping you would message with ideas as well?

Well now you know she is not reliable and just go yourself.

If she didn't want to see you why would she have messaged you today suggesting you come round? She could have simply said she had forgotten to call for you. Or not messaged you at all. Ignoring her message only hurts you. If you enjoyed the flower arranging and would like to go again just reply and say "No worries. Will see you there next week." If you don't want to go on your own, ask her to call in for you. Take the initiative and don't be so quick to assume offence.

Nothing to arrange really, she said she'd call for me . As for the bank holiday, she went away in the caravan.

Because the arrangement was she would call for me, she passes my door.

I would keep it light as you don't know each other well. Go along to the class yourself, see her there, and maybe later you could start going there and back together if that works out. I go to a hobby with several ladies on my road but I always make my own way because I find it simpler than trying to coincide every week.

It is a bit disrespectful. Chances are though that she does the same to others too or maybe doesn't respect her own time either which is sad. If you actually want to go yourself, I would ask someone else and if she wants to join ye, then great. Otherwise just leave it be. You could meet up with her again if you wanted, just make sure of your own boundaries, make sure it suits you too and decide how long you are able to wait for her etc.

I don't think I'm cutting my nose off if she's just using me

Using you for what? 🥴 Are you always so dramatic?

If you enjoyed it and want to go again just go without her? If you didn't like it then no drama just don't arrange other things with her?

using you to make flower arrangements? What?

Ugh people tying themselves up to make the OP the wrong one. If someone says they’re coming for you and don’t, it’s weird and rude AF!

You’re getting some harsh responses here OP.

I agree that I think it’s odd behaviour to continually make specific plans (rather than the non-committal ‘we’ll sort a date to catch up’ etc) with someone and then ignore them completely. If there’s no intention of following through then why say it? Particularly when you live so close to someone.

Don’t waste your energy on her, do the hobbies you want to do and take everything she says with a pinch of salt. Some folk are just odd.

I agree that it's rude, but I think the language op is using is what's throwing people off. It's slightly odd.