If you are 100kgs or over, how did you get there?

[JustCiri]

It's a very genuine question I am curious about looking at all the various posts about weight loss and MJ.
I am genuinely curious to know about how do people get to that sort of weight and any piece of advice from their own experience. I used to be very lean but I am 2 stones heavier now but still in 60-70kgs range and trying to lose weight. I am from an ethnicity which doesn't gains much weight so even this weight is lots for me.

Pregnancies, chronic work related stress, depression, no time to breath let alone exercise and overconsumption of wine once the children are in bed to try and compensate for said struggles so I could relax a little. I’m down to 86kg now by the grace of MJ putting me off alcohol. I’ve never been a massive eater in terms of portion and tend to cook from scratch so it wasn’t really food related for me.

Yes but it’s so obvious it doesn’t need pointing out. Because ‘overeating’ is different for everyone.

It’s like asking how someone grazed their knee and saying that it made contact with a surface and broke the skin.

Thanks for asking this question because as I’ve been reading I have been thinking and have realised it’s been several things across my lifetime. Apologies this will probably be long but I think it’s going to be therapeutic.
Reaching 100kg plus approaching 50 was my wake up call, at 5ft 3 and pear shaped I am the same shape as my paternal grandmother. At 100kg I was size 18, I’m now 75kg and size 12 with BMI around 29, most of my weight is in my thighs.
As a child I had healthy and quite varied meals but I had to clear my plate, snacks or treat foods were restricted, there were times when I was a bit “plump” which I can’t imagine was due to overeating from what I remember.
In my late teens/ early twenties I gained weight. I went on the pill, I started to drink alcohol, I started to buy my own takeaways and fast food, I had a boyfriend whose mum would serve up massive portions (and I still cleared my plate), I moved out of home. I worked as a nurse on wards so I was active at work and went to the gym on days off but did shifts so eating at odd times or skipping meals.
Late 20s I got married and had 2 babies, I had quite bad sickness so didn’t really gain weight in pregnancy. I did gain weight after they were born, enjoying the foods I hadn’t been able to keep down and then eating kids leftovers that I’d spent time preparing only for them to not eat. My children were never told to clear their plates (and getting a sticker for finishing their school dinner annoyed me).
I lost weight doing Slimming World when youngest was about 3, then I was size 8. I did a post reg qualification shortly after and did most of the academic work after the children had gone to bed, I kept awake with coffee and custard creams and the weight started to slowly go back on.
The new qualification led to a new job, more family friendly hours but I no longer had the opportunity to go to the gym or food prep in the day, I was working or looking after my children, xh was no support and became my ex. New job was less active, community based and driving between clients.
Then I met my new partner, we both had children and took things slowly, this meant a lot of dates and eating out, he’s also tall and slim with a big appetite so I should have recognised our portion sizes should never have been the same.
Then came lockdown, what was there in life to enjoy other than snacks on the sofa, having a takeaway under the guise of supporting local businesses. My job also became based at home, it sounds silly but it really reduced my general activity during the working day, getting a cup of tea or going to the loo became a few steps within my house instead of down a long corridor or to the floor above, walking to the car to go on a visit is a few steps down the drive not a 5 minute walk and up to the 8th floor of the multi storey car park.
As I gained weight I kidded myself, buying the same size clothes but from shops where the sizing is more generous. I didn’t look abnormal, just pretty average, so this helped with this.
Edited to add, I’m on mounjaro and trying to reset my clear the plate and eat for comfort and entertainment mentality.

My weight was stable at 12 st until I was about 25 then I was diagnosed with bipolar and put on quetiapibe. Gained 5 stone in a year. Got stable, changed drugs, lost 4 stone. Then at 30 I got diagnosed with an autoimmune condition and it was really hard to control. Gained 4 stone and took 4 years to stabilise. By 35 I accepted I was 17st. Stayed within 7lb either way for a decade. Last year I tried mounjaro and it was great for weight loss but destroyed my gallbladder in just 16 weeks. Got diagnosed with average stones in dec last year. 4 weeks ago I had a gastric bypass and a gall bladder removal and thank god I did. When the surgeon got in there my GB was a holy shit show. Jam packed with puss, a giant stone blocking my duct completely, it had adhered to various places it should not have AND it was on the very brink of rupture. The surgeon was amazed I had walked into the OR and said that my boss had nowhere near indicated how awful it would be once they got in there. Took them two hours to remove my GB and tidy things up, this surgeon only does caustic and gb and his time is 55 mins-75 moons for both on average. I was in surgery for 3 hours.

since coming out of surgery I feel AMAZING. My finger nails have transformed, they are so strong and no longer brittle. All of the background pain thati had just started to accept as normal, has gone. I was 17st9 on the 5th August and today I’m 14st13. I have absolutely bounced back and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m so bloody grateful to that surgeon and the team that helped me. I didn’t even know how awful I felt until they removed the reason I was ill.

I think when life gets hard we all have our own coping strategies...some people drink, some people turn to drugs, some people exercise excessively, some people gamble, some people undereat and some people over eat ....out of all these things i feel that over eating seems to attract the most hate. Why? Is it purely just because people are shallow and so a vice which causes you to become less visually attractive is therefore the worst. How dare you not look appealing to strangers?

your post is interesting, because you claim no judgement but also say that you were really overweight but still in the 60-70kgs range, and ask how people could possibly get any bigger, wow even up to 100kgs!!!

So yes there is judgement there. Or perhaps just very simplistic.

I am tall, and carry the weight spread over, so I don;t look very much like the stereotypes in weight gain. In fact my goal weight if I were to lose the extra is about 80 kgs.
But I am 110 kgs.

How? 40 years of just one extra chocolate biscuit I think.
I have 3 kids, but lost a lot of wieght when pregnant with the middle one.
I walk every morning, about 5km with the dog, and I cook properly from scratch, with a good variety of healthy food.

I am not an emotional eater.

But as I said, I like a snack/ biscuit, and I guess 40 years of just one too many bisuits and here we are.

Trouble is, I am just not bothered enough to lose it. I have a lovely dh who doesn't care if I am more cuddly.

I forgot to add- a dead thyroid. I’m not over 100kg but I certainly feel like I am .

stress has been a massive contributor to my weight gain. I eat less and move more when I’m happier

I think it’s really interesting to hear people’s first hand experience of their weight gain. It allows you to see how self aware some people are, how much blame people put on others or their situation and how determined some people are (with or without wli’s).

For every person recounting their story here there are probably 5 at home eating a custard pie and just complaining.

Personally I have always been slim until I struggled to have children and went through 3 years of ivf. Prior to that I’ve always managed to maintain good muscle mass and definition, a level of fitness and a weight without too much of an effort in terms of my food intake. Ivf (and age I would assume) has done a complete 360 on what I thought I knew about myself and keeping myself slim and fit has been a daily struggle. I never understood food noise until now and whilst I manage to keep myself restrained the noise is there and it’s LOUD. I think about food all day long and it’s all consuming.

I think my story is pretty typical... in my mid 50's, I reached 98.5 kg, about 217 lbs, or 15½ stone. I gained the weight by putting on 2 or 3 lbs a year for 25 years. The realisation came when I noticed that I was on the "last hole" of my favourite belt... there were 10 worn holes, marking the passage of years.

I got weighed, 217 lbs, and my waist was 46 inches. I started a campaign "50 lbs in 50 weeks", exercise and sensible eating. I lost the 50 lbs (it took 51 weeks), and also lost 10" from my waist.

I've kept the weight off for 25 years now. Less exercise as I get older, but I eat less too. These days, I weigh about 147, down 70 lbs, or 5 stone from my peak.

Still got my sweet tooth, unfortunately.

your post is interesting, because you claim no judgement but also say that you were really overweight but still in the 60-70kgs range, and ask how people could possibly get any bigger, wow even up to 100kgs!!!

@steppemum I read her post differently, because I thought she was saying that she understands how easy it is to gain a couple of stone. Judging from these responses, it’s primarily poor health that causes significant weight gain-you can’t exercise, you need to take medication that causes weight gain, etc.

I'm a (non-competitive) ultra runner and a competitive weightlifter. I gained weight training for my first marathon, then gained a bit more as I started to properly feed my body for weightlifting. To lose weight, I have to eat below 1000 calories a day, which effectively rules out participating in the sports that I love. So I eat as I need to, I monitor my macros closely to ensure I'm getting enough protein to build muscle strength. I am, quite honestly, ripped for a menopausal woman. Yes there's probably something going on which means that my CICO balance is totally skewed - I don't consistently lose weight even burning 4-5000 calories a day unless I strongly restrict. But my blood pressure and blood sugars are good and my fitness is excellent. So I'll take it. I'd rather be fit and fat than thin and unable to lift....

You really can't imagine that some people gain weight differently to others
How odd
I dont think she's being odd. She's asking about people reasons.
My friend was always slim but had a stroke at 35 and has gained a huge amount of weight.

I was always active and through a series of events went into a depression and completely lost my mood.
I saw the lbs creep on and thought never mind, I'll soon lose them.
Spoiler, I didn't!

God I’d take fit enough for ultras any day @roundaboutthehillsareshining - one day I’ll be brave enough to go above a half!!

I am 51 years old, 165cm and work out 4 to 5 times a week. I have an active job and I weigh 90kg. I lift weights, I do Pilates and Cardio. I don't eat badly but menopause has caused my body to retain fat in certain areas and that is something I have decided not to waste any angst on. I am strong and healthy and valued for who I am not what it says when I (rarely) step on a scales.

Thank you for a great thread @JustCiri

Childhood trauma, post traumatic stress disorder, post natal depression and medication that made me put on at least half a stone a week.

Would you consider WLI @verybighouseinthecountry ?

Oh I know this one!
Genetics + metabolism + frame size + age + exercise level + hormones

Eg greyhound v Labrador ..still both dogs you can feed them the same but they won't weigh the same or look the same but we don't give people the same grace.

I tried Saxenda back in the day, did brilliantly then all the cravings and food noise came back the day after I stopped taking it. I cannot afford it long term, nor do I want to for the associated risks. I've now lost just under 5kg, slower than I'd like but it's as much about resetting myself to be satisfied with smaller portions and to resist cravings when I'm not even hungry.

nor do I want to for the associated risks.

What risks are you referring to?

I have a super low metabolism so have been battling weight since my teens but tended to go from a 12-16, then I had a kid and hit 40 and my metabolism just completely stalled - I would lose nothing eating 1000 calories and walking an hour a day and then after a few months of dieting and not losing I would hit xmas, eat more freely and put on weight and it would not come off again in January. Even when I was calorie restricting, after I had my kid I became terrible on nutrition, instead of putting effort into cooking healthy I would grab food on the go which was low cal but nutritionally terrible and not filling - at the same time I spent time cooking all my daughters purrees and meals salt and sugar free with lots of nutrients. I put on 3 stone in 2 years and went up to a 20.

From reading a lot about nutrition and metabolism I think while part of it is genetic (under active thyroid) - a huge reason my metabolism broke was from extreme dieting and cutting out healthy fats, eating artificial low fat things etc… Blood tests showed I have insulin resistance which makes it harder to lose fat but your body often becomes insulin resistant by not eating healthy fats like nuts, certain oils, avocado etc…

My grandparents ate so much more than I ever did, cream, butter, chocolate etc and stayed super skinny but they never ate artificial things. The countries that are the skinniest are the ones that have less artificial stuff in their diets. With my own daughter I Iet her eat as much as she wants of healthy stuff but sugary drinks and chocolate are treats and there are no bad chemicals - e numbers, artificial sweetners or emulsifiers - in her diet and she is really healthy!

What risks are stopping you @verybighouseinthecountry ?