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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why my kids dislike my mother

14 replies

Seeyah · 07/09/2025 19:00

infact, I probably do know why as she isn’t my favourite person either, she would do anything for you etc but she doesn’t listen to word you say, I have never really been able to talk to her about anything really as I know she doesn’t really listen. My sister has stopped going round to hers with her daughter as if she has a drink she isn’t very nice (which is most nights). Once something is in her head she will not let it go and I honestly don’t know how my dad puts up with her. Can kids really pick up on this?

OP posts:
Twinkylightsg · 07/09/2025 19:02

Kids are not dumb

Original poster
Seeyah · 07/09/2025 19:03

Twinkylightsg · 07/09/2025 19:02

Kids are not dumb

She just thinks they are just kids and she says they love me really, I genuinely don’t think they do!

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 07/09/2025 19:03

How old are kids and how often they see her?
Do you discuss your mother’s behaviour with your sister or with your partner or your friends when kids can hear you?

Original poster
Seeyah · 07/09/2025 19:05

pizzaHeart · 07/09/2025 19:03

How old are kids and how often they see her?
Do you discuss your mother’s behaviour with your sister or with your partner or your friends when kids can hear you?

They are 5 and 8 and they do see her quite regularly, they are never happy to see her and will not be left with her.

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 07/09/2025 19:06

5 and 8 absolutely can pick up on atmosphere.

Twinkylightsg · 07/09/2025 19:06

Seeyah · 07/09/2025 19:03

She just thinks they are just kids and she says they love me really, I genuinely don’t think they do!

Show quote history

They notice they are not being heard. So will feel ignored. Comparing to other adults in their life they will feel less connected to her for this reason. They may like her enough in small doses. But won't be someone they actively choose to see

Jitterbuggs · 07/09/2025 19:12

Of course they can! Kids tend to pick up on all sorts. They are also picking up on your feelings towards your mother. If she's such a PITA why do you bother?

Goodadvice1980 · 07/09/2025 19:13

Children can be excellent judges of character - just like cats!

Original poster
Seeyah · 07/09/2025 19:14

Jitterbuggs · 07/09/2025 19:12

Of course they can! Kids tend to pick up on all sorts. They are also picking up on your feelings towards your mother. If she's such a PITA why do you bother?

I don’t actually know. She has said unforgivable things to me when she has had a drink and just apologises in the morning. It has been this way since I was a kid. She honestly looks like she has had 10 bags of heroin after just 2 glasses. I think maybe it’s because she is my mum and I feel I have to.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 07/09/2025 19:14

She sounds awful from everything you’ve written, so I wouldn’t be surprised your children don’t like her.

Original poster
Seeyah · 07/09/2025 19:14

She just isn’t a very nice person if I’m honest!

OP posts:
Original poster
Seeyah · 07/09/2025 19:15

My daughter who is 8 says she is annoying.

OP posts:
Original poster
Seeyah · 07/09/2025 19:18

I went through various things as a child, eating disorders/anxiety and I think a lot of that was down to her. She throws it in my face at how hard it was for her to go through and I suppose I always felt guilty.

OP posts:
Digidestined · 07/09/2025 20:53

I don't understand why you are wondering why your kids don't like her

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