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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset about new top

315 replies

BykeP · 06/09/2025 13:57

I bought what I thought was a lovely new top, it’s black, fluffy and sleeveless. DH thinks I look like Betty Rubble from the Flintstones and keeps saying Yabba Dabba Do every time I enter the room.

I don’t think this is funny but he won’t stop laughing. I said he is offending me and I find his comments hurtful but he said it’s too funny to stop.

I refuse to change my top but I think he is unreasonable? I can’t listen to Yabba Dabba Do anymore or be called Betty

OP posts:
BexBissell · 06/09/2025 19:06

Wexone · 06/09/2025 19:04

I am not to me it's banter 🤣🤣🤣 I am not easily offensive

I think that poster is looking to be offended on our behalf. Probably pops balloons at parties🎈

Dutchhouse14 · 06/09/2025 19:07

To say it once OK, that could be funny, it keep repeating it isn't especially when you've told him not too.
I would wear it til he gets bored.
DH and DC called my lovely green puffer jacket my Brussel sprout coat. I ignore.

DeeKitch · 06/09/2025 19:09

Call him Fred!!! X

Wexone · 06/09/2025 19:11

BexBissell · 06/09/2025 19:03

He was actually a smashing man, who I lost to cancer far too early. He made me laugh every single day I was married to him. We both shared a daft sense of humour and I miss him dearly. If you think he was an idiot, he would laugh at you for being po-faced and humourless so 🤷‍♀️

sorry about your husband- he sounds just like mine. he makes me laugh nearly every day 😆 good going for 20 years. we're irish so that helps and we have the crack. it makes life more bearable. he is also kind gentle very hardworking and would do anything for me.
so to answer @ihavealwayslivedinthecastle he most certainly isnt a twerp

FaintLemonLilac · 06/09/2025 19:11

I use to work with a girl who had a leather and fake fur jacket.

I called it her Planet of the Apes jacket, not to her face though.

It could have come from the set, it was really odd.

CalzoneOnLegs · 06/09/2025 19:12

@BexBissell oh yes that’s right ! he was standing round with hands in pockets looking ‘moody and serious ‘ in the semi darkness if IIRC

(Mum had a BexBissell it was duck egg blue, one of my earliest memories )

ETA sorry for your loss I just read your earlier post

LeopardPants · 06/09/2025 19:13

PiggyPigalle · 06/09/2025 15:38

I bought two Tilda coats from Hobbs. A navy and a camel. I put on the camel one to have lunch with my daughter and she called me Del Boy.
It's never been out of my wardrobe since.

Oh dear!! My mum had a long back coat years ago (down to her ankles) we used to call her the undertaker. She didn’t like that too much but we have one of those families where everyone suffers it 😄

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 06/09/2025 19:15

LeopardPants · 06/09/2025 19:13

Oh dear!! My mum had a long back coat years ago (down to her ankles) we used to call her the undertaker. She didn’t like that too much but we have one of those families where everyone suffers it 😄

I'm sorry but this really made me laugh 😂

CeciliaDuckiePond · 06/09/2025 19:18

Betty and Wilma are animated as 'sexy wife' figures, I'd be quite flattered if someone said I looked like one of them!

TimClaypole · 06/09/2025 19:27

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 06/09/2025 17:49

It's an internet forum.

Stop taking it so seriously.

I don’t think responding to somebody saying they were upset, with a laughing emoji is appropriate. I’m not going to change about my mind about that so don’t bother.

PiggyPigalle · 06/09/2025 19:27

JudgeBread · 06/09/2025 17:21

Why???

I mean you obviously like the coat so why are you letting one silly comment put you off ever wearing it again? Do you not think that's ludicrously oversensitive? Especially for a £200+ coat that's now just gathering dust.

I've got an oversized camel trench coat and whenever I wear it my husband calls me Gene Hunt. It hasn't stopped me wearing it because I still love the coat!

If she thought it, so would others.

She got her comeuppance. Went to a Heroes fancy dress dress party, she chose instead of a character to make a Heroes box of chocolates from stiff card. The box that narrows at the bottom, had heroes wrappers stuck all over it.

Bus arrived and she couldn't lift her legs up the step. Imagine this mad purple box bobbing around.
Passengers had to lift her on to the bus.
Plonker!

Thewalrusandthecarpenter · 06/09/2025 19:28

There’s someone at work who has a grey zip up Frank Bough cardigan. We wouldn’t say that to his face though.

Someone I used to work with had what we called the “he means business: Phil Mitchell’s black leather jacket”. He didn’t mind.

TimClaypole · 06/09/2025 19:30

VIOLETPUGH · 06/09/2025 18:58

Sorry this has made my day, I would be laughing with him it is funny.

Sorry your day has been so dull!

DareDevil223 · 06/09/2025 19:32

Wexone · 06/09/2025 18:57

God if I got offended every time my husband made a smart comment about what I wore I wouldn't wear anything at ll 🙈🤣 I wore a fab wide leg trousers and sleeveless top to work other day yes it was all black - are you going to a funeral he says ? I said well it's my day in the office so kinda is and laughed. today wearing a nice bright jumper - I should be working for the council 😩🤣 I just laugh it off

With such Wildean badinage on display, the hours must simply fly by at your house.

CalzoneOnLegs · 06/09/2025 19:38

@TimClaypole don’t fret, Coco has been back to the thread and unequivocally confirmed that it was all in jest and at no time was she hurt or upset and that she found it funny and thought others may too, hence her post.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 06/09/2025 19:38

TimClaypole · 06/09/2025 19:27

I don’t think responding to somebody saying they were upset, with a laughing emoji is appropriate. I’m not going to change about my mind about that so don’t bother.

If you'd bothered to read the thread, you'd know that that poster was being light-hearted.

But carry on getting offended on other people's behalf if you like Wink

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/09/2025 19:40

It's very unkind and is only being done to make you feel bad about yourself.

I spent a childhood being cold and wet. I spent my late teens being cold and wet. I spent my early twenties being cold and wet. I spent my late twenties being cold and wet.

This was because I didn't have a decent coat after I was about 5. I saved up from my Saturday job and bought a dark green duffle coat, only to have the piss ripped out of me for dressing like Paddington Bear. I didn't have a coat again until I was about 27. It looked so disgusting according to my then partner's ex girlfriend that he gave it away, leaving me without a coat. Once I'd got out of that relationship, I couldn't afford a coat.

I saved and saved until I could buy myself a beautiful, pure wool, tailored coat so that I would be warm and smart and have something that would last me for years. It took a good five years as every time I nearly had enough, something would come up that was more important including where I had been unwell and lost a lot of hair previously due to medication. - but eventually, I had the coat, my hair was looking and feeling better and I looked forward to the first properly chilly day.

According to the then boyfriend in between doubling up with laughter, I looked just like Uncle Fester. He kept calling me Fester all day in public, all evening, told his mother, his sister, her boyfriends, their kids and every time until I finally dumped him that it looked a bit cold or wet 'You wearing your coat, Fester?'.

Once he'd been kicked out, I thought I'd be able to wear it at last. Nope. All I could hear in my head was the hours and hours and hours of 'FESTER! Come on, Uncle! Take that wig off Uncle! Where's Morticia?' and the theme tune, combined with the idea that his first thought was that I should be told that I looked like a bald monster.

I still don't feel like I look right in any coat.

It's designed to knock you down a peg or two, to make you feel stupid and inadequate and ashamed of thinking you looked good or was worth something.

So can you imagine how anxious I was when a new man invited me to a special occasion I'd have to dress up for? I was convinced he'd laugh at me and was nearly in tears by the time I opened the door, so as soon as he looked at me and he started to smile, I burst into tears. Difference is that the man at my door was my now DP. He had started to smile because I looked beautiful and whilst he knew he really, really liked me, he absolutely loved the outfit and hadn't expected it.

It's bullying, plain and simple. And people who laugh at bullies are indistinguishable from bullies themselves.

raininginlanzarote · 06/09/2025 19:40

Dear god, really? I bought a jumper, it was cheap and I liked it. The first time I wore it 3 people called me Minnie the Minx and one called me Dennis.

it then dawned on me it was wide red and black stripes. Do I care? Of course not, it’s now my ‘Dennis’ jumper and I love it. You are being waaaay too precious.

Soonenough · 06/09/2025 19:41

I wouldn't care what my DH says as he has no fashion sense anyways. But would think it funny . Would tell him that I am channelling a Robert Smith of The Cure vibe obviously.

CalzoneOnLegs · 06/09/2025 19:41

@tumblingdowntherabbithole i know right ? unbelievable and Coco Never said she was upset

this place is bonkers sometimes

ohyesido · 06/09/2025 19:41

He’ll get bored if you don’t respond

MimiSunshine · 06/09/2025 19:41

I have a long (off) white padded winter coat with big furry hood.
my husband sings ‘stay another day’ by east17 when I wear it.

i don’t give a crap, it’s too warm and cozy for me to care and it is very east17 😆

FuriousInventions · 06/09/2025 19:42

I was told by DH that I looked like Peppa Pig in my pink skinny jeans so you have my sympathy. We both appear to be married to nine-year-olds.

notarunner · 06/09/2025 19:42

I have a spotty jumpsuit and the first time I wore it, DH said "Mr Tumble called, he wants his clothes back". I think I'd take The Flintstones Grin

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 06/09/2025 19:43

CalzoneOnLegs · 06/09/2025 19:41

@tumblingdowntherabbithole i know right ? unbelievable and Coco Never said she was upset

this place is bonkers sometimes

I think it must make people feel better to get all self-righteous on the internet Grin