To think I don’t have a alcohol problem

[Boingyboingy]

So I do tend to drink everyday. Never to the point of not being able to walk, being sick etc. I don’t wake up and crave it, I just crave the feeling of being chilled out and being able to deal with stress better. DH thinks I am an alcoholic and has been going mad at me

Somebody asked me if I got pregnant would I struggle to go cold turkey. Truthful answer is no, I wouldn’t struggle as I would see a purpose to stop drinking

Is your health not a purpose to stop drinking ?
My sister is an alcoholic and she is a total mess, already has elevated liver issues at 44. Her life is just toxic and it’s all due to the alcohol.

@jimmyeatworld Well yes of course but I probably haven’t realised about the impact of my health

Your husband feels it’s problematic. It is problematic. You’re craving a feeling. You are an alcoholic.

Try not drinking for two weeks and see how you go. If you can’t manage without booze then you’re addicted. If you manage two weeks off fine, then maybe just drink at weekends. Just cut down a bit. Better for you, your kids and your marriage. I also love that bottle of wine chilled out feeling of no stress after a stressful day, but when I started to donut every day I decided it was time to stop, so now I’m special occasions only. Try taking two weeks off and you’ll soon see if you have a problem or not.

Someone once told me that if alcohol is costing you more than money, you have a problem.

It’s putting pressure on your relationship so I’d say you were in that territory.

But it’s not all bad news. Taking a pause to give your body a rest and to understand why you need to drink could be the key to living a much happier life.

Well of course if you drink the same number of units on a daily basis it wouldn't matter if it was vodka or lager. But imagine the amount of lager you'd have to put down to match the guy in the park with his 2 bottles of Lidl vodka.

The op is having a couple of glasses of wine. There's no way that is doing the liver harm. Probably a negligible effect if anything.

When I was TTC I got so into herbal teas! I loved them like they were wine. Now green smoothies. Or fizzy water with ginger or lemon or turmeric or cucumber - have fun making different drinks. And meditate or do yoga for that zen feeling?

Yes I think it's interesting you haven't quantified how many units/drinks you're drinking @Boingyboingy but "a few drinks" has got to be at least 3 drinks otherwise you would say "a drink" or "a couple of drinks". With home measures, 3 drinks is likely to be at least 4- 4.5 units so well over 20 units a week.

The absolute max you should be drinking is 14 units and you should have 3 or 4 dry days a week.

You're drinking way too much and you definitely have a problem. No wonder your DH is worried. Listen to him.

How do you know it’s only a couple? Has the OP said literally 2 glasses?
She likes the way she feels ‘after a few’
That is worrying to me.

How much do you drink each day?

Duplicate post

A bottle of 12% wine a day is 63 units a week.

The difference between alcohol dependence and alcoholism is that alcohol dependence is a physical dependence, whereas addiction is a physiological reliance.

Someone who is alcohol dependent isn’t addicted to alcohol as a substance, but is physically dependent on it and over time will need more and more alcohol to achieve the same effects.

An alcoholic is no longer physically dependent on alcohol because they have built up a tolerance to the point where it’s the brain itself which is convinced it needs alcohol in order to function. At that point it has become an addiction and the next drink becomes the overwhelming focus, regardless of any negative effects on life.

I find if I drink every day I need a drink to relax.

If I don’t drink, I don’t feel I need a drink to relax.

I mostly stick to drinking only on Friday and Saturday and I feel much better.

To drink every day is excessive.
Why don't you stop and drink nothing whatsoever for a month. That will let you know if you have a problem. If you're struggling, then yes, I'd see that as a problem.

Not sure if this has already been said as I have only read your posts. Tell your GP how much you are drinking. If you are drinking more than one drink 6 days a week, you are almost certainly drinking too much to safely stop “cold turkey”.

It’s very common for people to not see a problem with their drinking. In the UK, I think heavy drinking is so common it disguises how much of a problem it really is.

OP hasn’t specified whether she’s drinking a couple of glasses or a couple of bottles. Half a bottle of 12% wine a day - two moderate glasses - is over thirty units of alcohol a week. More than twice the recommended maximum. And how much damage is done, depends on your tolerance for alcohol and several other factors including whether you take significant medication, including pain killers.

I have had periods where I felt extremely anxious. I don’t really drink very much - just not my vice - but I can remember having a drink during one of those times once and being amazed by how calm I suddenly felt. I’d never understood the classification of alcohol as a “depressant” until then.

The reason I share this, is I wonder if this is why you like a drink? Maybe there is something underneath this that you actually need to ask your husband to support you with?

OK thats great but what about your ability to enjoy life without drinking without the need for a “purpose”.

If you have to have an external trigger to justify not drinking it suggests that you struggle to find joy or relaxation without alcohol or that you are reliant on it for relaxation in normal circumstances.

What happens after your pregnancy? What happens when you are dealing with a newborn and the stress and sleeplessness that goes with that?

I like a drink, but don’t drink during the week and maybe once or twice of a weekend- which would technically be called a binge drinker as I might have 4 or 5.

I know people who have a glass of wine every day with their meal (as I suppose is really common in parts of Europe). I don’t see this as an issue.

how many are you having every day? Can you try and set yourself a target of every other day and see how you go. If you can’t do this then you probably do have a dependency.

Someone with a problem won’t find it easy to stop for a week, they might be able to do it but it won’t be that easy, if she doesn’t find doing that easy then she likely has a problem, most people who don’t have a problem can do it easily

@Greysowhat

The op is having a couple of glasses of wine. There's no way that is doing the liver harm. Probably a negligible effect if anything.

This is just not true. Daily drinking, even quite moderately, can indeed damage your liver. Along with other organs. It significantly increases cancer risk too.