To think that in every relationship, there’s always one person who likes the other more?

[TheElatedFinch]

It seems like there’s always a bit of imbalance, whether it’s in friendships or romantic relationships. Does that mean one person is always giving more?

Well in most long term successful relationships including mine the power balance is often uneven but it's more like a seesaw. Sometimes I just adore my husband and feel like I'm chasing him sometimes it's me busy and distracted and he's chasing me all over again and sometimes it's lovely and even and paradise for a while.

I don't think you can quantify how much you love or like someone, and it's not especially healthy to try.

I’ve not found this to be the case in either friendships or romantic relationships, no. It seems like a really unhealthy perspective.

Idk my husband and I are pretty sickeningly into each other and have been for 13 years now. It’s actually a bit gross.

I don’t know if DH loves me more than I love him, or vice versa, because how do you quantify love?

Partly I agree with @Tontostitis, but also I think some people prefer to be the ‘chaser’/person more in love, even in the context of very longterm relationships. A good friend of mine is happily married to a rather cool, ‘rejecting’ woman for 20 years and three children — he would be a bit turned off, I suspect, by someone more obviously adoring.

Interesting I know a woman like this married to a bit of a lothario who seems to think it makes her extra special because he keeps coming back to her.

I think it can be like that, and I certainly know some relationships that have that flavour but it doesn’t have to be.

My own relationship feels equal in terms of love, affection and attraction and we’ve been together a long time.

Me: I love you
DP: I love you more
Me: I know

Keeps him on his toes.

I would find this very tiring, to be honest. DH and I are both committed to each other, and best friends. I think relationships of any kind need to be equal. I'm not friends with people who make no effort and I feel I have to chase. Equally I avoid people who are keener than I am to meet up frequently.