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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Student complaining-religion

228 replies

totoromama · 04/09/2025 22:42

I train adults in professional services and they do professional exams.
I'm really upset about something a student said today. I need to vent but don't think I can take it further.
I taught anything successful 4 day course with an exam.
The student in question got a really high score, she was so happy!
I leant over her to look at the score she was telling me and my pendant necklace came out of my top.
Her whole demeanor changed.
She stood up and exclaimed that if she had known I was x she wouldn't have done the course and she was going to complain.
I'm so upset.my religion has nothing to do with my job. I feel scared.
She'll complain and it'll effect me at work not for my performance.
I'm not sure my aibu.

OP posts:
murasaki · 04/09/2025 22:43

She's being ridiculous, and your pendant was inside your top as a rule anyway. Please don't worry.

GleisZwei · 04/09/2025 22:44

This reply has been deleted

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murasaki · 04/09/2025 22:45

Oh, silly me.

weirdoboelady · 04/09/2025 22:46

So she has told you that she would discriminate against you on the basis of religion? Is she aware that religion is a protected characteristic, so she has just admitted to a potentially illegal act?

Original poster
totoromama · 04/09/2025 22:47

Yes I'm sure. I don't usually wear the pendant but thought no one would notice.

She had been so happy with my teaching and had asked me about the advanced course and if I would be teaching it.
Afterwards I asked her if she'd still be interested in the advanced course and she said if it wasn't me!

OP posts:
YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 04/09/2025 22:51

Well I’m a professional who is on a professional register and if I said such a thing I’d be struck off the register. She needs to be careful going into a profession, she can’t be biased against people. You could complain about her, you should certainly inform your manager.

YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 04/09/2025 22:52

And it really shouldn’t affect you at work. Your employer has a responsibility to protect you from discrimination.

PurpleChrayn · 04/09/2025 22:52

Let me guess. You’re Jewish and she’s Muslim?

Original poster
totoromama · 04/09/2025 22:53

I don't really know what to say to my manager. Tbh he might tell me not to wear the pendant.

OP posts:
GypsyQueeen · 04/09/2025 22:55

She's an idiot.
Surely you can wear whatever religious pendant you want in this country? If someone else has a problem that's on them. Try not to worry about it.

GypsyQueeen · 04/09/2025 22:57

totoromama · 04/09/2025 22:53

I don't really know what to say to my manager. Tbh he might tell me not to wear the pendant.

I don't think he's allowed to do that 🤔

Original poster
totoromama · 04/09/2025 22:58

I work for a private training company he might do.

OP posts:
GameWheelsAlarm · 04/09/2025 23:00

So you have been subject to an antisemitic ot islamphobic attack at work (and you must think that mumsnet is also full of antisemetic or islamaphobic people given that you don't want to name which). Don't be scared. You are the victim here. Report what happened factually to HR. Presumably your employer has clear policies stating that discrimination and attack based on characteristics including religion (along with sex, race, sexuality etc) will not be tolerated. Ask them what they are going to do to enforce this policy and ensure that their staff members are protected from such attacks.

murasaki · 04/09/2025 23:00

totoromama · 04/09/2025 22:58

I work for a private training company he might do.

He's an employer, he's not allowed to.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 04/09/2025 23:01

I guess you are Jewish. I hope your manager / work team support you fully.
Student should be told re rules / regulations which I expect say no discrimination / no bullying etc. and should have to apologise to you.

It's the student's loss if she doesn't do the higher course if it's only taught by you.

nomas · 04/09/2025 23:02

I'm so upset.my religion has nothing to do with my job. I feel scared.
She'll complain and it'll effect me at work not for my performance.

Why are you scared? Confused

You have the freedom to practise your religion, whatever religion that may be. Even if it’s Satanism.

JassyRadlett · 04/09/2025 23:04

Your employer is bound by the Equalities Act.

To protect yourself you need to handle this proactively. Email your manager to say you need to report an incident of religious discrimination from one of your students. Detail the interaction/s in as much detail as you can to the best of your memory, and ask for his thoughts on how best to proceed, and what policies the company has around discrimination and abuse of their staff.

Miniappletree · 04/09/2025 23:05

JassyRadlett · 04/09/2025 23:04

Your employer is bound by the Equalities Act.

To protect yourself you need to handle this proactively. Email your manager to say you need to report an incident of religious discrimination from one of your students. Detail the interaction/s in as much detail as you can to the best of your memory, and ask for his thoughts on how best to proceed, and what policies the company has around discrimination and abuse of their staff.

This is good advice.

Original poster
totoromama · 04/09/2025 23:05

@nomas on the current climate you really believe that?
I know it's my own fault for wearing it.
I didn't think anyone would notice it was only when I bent over it fell out.

OP posts:
GypsyQueeen · 04/09/2025 23:05

totoromama · 04/09/2025 22:58

I work for a private training company he might do.

But presumably the company still has to work within the law. Don't back down or apologise over this. You're in the right.

nomas · 04/09/2025 23:09

totoromama · 04/09/2025 23:05

@nomas on the current climate you really believe that?
I know it's my own fault for wearing it.
I didn't think anyone would notice it was only when I bent over it fell out.

I feel like you’re working up to some big reveal.

I work in a big company where Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Sikhs, and others all practise and celebrate their religion freely and we come together to celebrate with each other.

I know everywhere is not like this, but I don’t know of a single workplace that would fire someone for their religion.

blueclip · 04/09/2025 23:10

You could report her. She ought to be barred from
any further courses at your centre due to this kind of discrimination.

EmeraldRoulette · 04/09/2025 23:11

blueclip · 04/09/2025 23:10

You could report her. She ought to be barred from
any further courses at your centre due to this kind of discrimination.

This

Original poster
totoromama · 04/09/2025 23:11

Not big reveal. You've probably worked out I'm Jewish. I need to vent not get blamed for everything happening in the middle east.

OP posts:
Balloonhearts · 04/09/2025 23:14

I would tell her that discrimination on the basis of religion is illegal and you are disappointed in her. I'd be tempted to add that had you known she was a bigot and incapable of professionalism, she would not have been admitted to the course. But only you know if you'd get away with being that blunt.