Student complaining-religion

[totoromama]

I train adults in professional services and they do professional exams.
I'm really upset about something a student said today. I need to vent but don't think I can take it further.
I taught anything successful 4 day course with an exam.
The student in question got a really high score, she was so happy!
I leant over her to look at the score she was telling me and my pendant necklace came out of my top.
Her whole demeanor changed.
She stood up and exclaimed that if she had known I was x she wouldn't have done the course and she was going to complain.
I'm so upset.my religion has nothing to do with my job. I feel scared.
She'll complain and it'll effect me at work not for my performance.
I'm not sure my aibu.

I don't think the Op needs to say what her pendant is, I guess it is a Star of David tho I understand that Jewish people have another name for it - Magan David.

When I was growing up it was a normal occurrence to see them being worn.

How times change.

OP was the student wearing any religious symbols? I think you should complain about the students reaction as it was discriminatory.

I’m sorry this happened to you OP. I work in a client facing environment and still wear my magen dovid, I’ve had some looks but no one has said anything yet. I don’t even hide it under a blouse. I know I’m on borrowed time.

I’m so sorry OP. My mate no longer feels safe wearing his Star of David after randoms have screamed at him twice in supermarkets, He”s nearly 80 years old. This is in ultra laid back North Queensland, Australia and if randoms feel confident enough to abuse an elderly man doing his grocery shopping, they re perfectly capable of making trouble for you too.

I agree with the advice that you need to proactively put in writing what happened to your manger. If she complains, of course it won’t be about your pendant. She will make something up to make your life difficult.

Which criminal offence do you believe has taken place?

Make a written record of the incident & report to your employer in case the student complains. Make sure you are never alone with the student again to ensure you always have an impartial witness to your interactions to protect yourself from any accusations of bias.

If she says, quite openly, that she is an antisemite, she is kicking her own career up the arse. Word gets around.

Beat her to it. Get your ass to HR first thing.

I'm an ateist but I would like to buy a necklace with all religious symbols having read this. It was discreet so not like you were waving an Israelien flag in her face. My Mil and therefore my DH I suppose are jewish but are firmly against Israels violence in Gaza. I've got a muslim friend who is also a feminist and obviously against all violence committed by muslim fundamentalists. It's just plain stupid to make an assomption about someone's religion in relation to politics.

I am sorry to read about your horrible experience. It's obviously very upsetting and has made you fearful but please do not think she can complain about you or affect how your work and performance are regarded. Her own achievement reflects the quality of the work you have done.

The shoe is on the foot as far as complaints go. You can complain about her because she is in the wrong and has spoken to you in a shocking and unacceptable way in the workplace.

You can report this to your employer. I don't know what your manager is like or whether you feel you can talk to him about it or whether you'd prefer to put it in writing. You should report the incident to the Community Security Trust or other Jewish organisation that monitors and records such incidents. And you can speak to ACAS on the phone for advice as to what to do. Please don't be alone, worrying and afraid. Get that help and support.

Under the Equality Act you cannot ask someone to remove religious artifice unless for health and safety reasons. The student was trying to intimidate OP into removing her religious symbol. Similar to someone doing the same to someone wearing the niqab. Whilst not outright demanding its removal, they are trying to coerce the OP into doing so.

I don't know whether it helps or not that she was wearing a hijab. I've lived in UAE, Oman and Turkey being Jewish no problem.

But the UK recently is unsafe. many friends are moving to Israel.
The thing I find incredible is in the UK we have a population of around 70m of which 300,000 are Jewish. But we are the problem.

I'm so sorry OP her reaction is awful and I'd think about speaking to your manager about what happened.

I'm really sorry for any and all hatred that you've experienced,it's 2025 but it really does feel like the worlds taken a massive step back.

I’m so sorry to hear this OP. How horrible for you.

I also guessed you were going to say Jewish before you did, which probably goes to show how prevalent anti semitism seems to be at the moment.

Of course you aren’t to blame for everything that is happening in the Middle East.

Edit - I don’t know if this helps or makes it worse, but our head of HR was wearing a Star of David pendant in a Teams call the other week and i thought to myself that it was brave of her. And then I thought how awful that that should be considered brave in this day and age 😢

A useful phrase I saw on Mumsnet once was:
'A person's's behaviour says everything about them and nothing about you".
From the current rise in anti-Semitism I would think that the OP would have received a torrent of abuse if she had asked- would you really have asked if you knew you would be abused?
Sounding rather like victim blaming, like asking what she did to provoke it if a woman turns up with a black eye....

You’re absolutely not the problem OP. And whilst it might not feel like it at the moment, there are many people in the UK who abhor the current anti semitism coming from some communities. Don’t let the minority of bigots grind you down. They don’t represent the majority thankfully.

Nowhere does OP suggest the student asked her to remove the pendant, and the student isn't subject to EA2010 in any case because it doesn't apply to choices and decisions made by random individuals. It's legislation that pertains to groups and organisations. The workplace would be in breach of EA asking OP to remove it, but not some random. Not that this happened in any case. Student has expressed a wish not to study under a specific teacher because of their religion, and while that might be narrow-minded, bigoted, and offensive, it isn't illegal.

There is no crime here, so there can not be a hate crime.

I dislike organised religion generally. Having spent a lot of my childhood in Northern Ireland I have heard about and witnessed plenty of religious discrimination in workplaces and elsewhere.

I wouldn’t say anything to anyone wearing religious symbols but it’s a signal to others and highly political (whilst of course being absolutely legal and within your rights).

The student in this case should have kept her discriminatory thoughts to herself although at least OP will now know why the issue is if this student makes a complaint or leaves negative feeedback - she could end up in a lot of trouble if the incident was witnessed.

Awful, unjustified and hypocritical behaviour. I say this as a hijab wearing Muslim. You should complain to your manager about her outburst.

The student isn't the person providing a service. Her saying something discriminatory isn't unlawful discrimination.

The student said they would not have done the course if they had known the OP was Jewish: blatant anti-Semitism: is that not a crime? (People can think whatever thoughts they like but to refuse to be taught by someone because of their religion: how can that not be an issue?)

The student said they would not have done the course if they had known the OP was Jewish: blatant anti-Semitism: is that not a crime?

No.

Oddly enough, I don't go to Catholic mass, because I'm not a Catholic, and I don't like Catholicism.

One of the great things about freedom of association is private individuals are entirely at liberty to pick and choose who they associate with. We also have freedom to offend, and the mere fact someone is offended does not mean the person who has offended them must have committed some sort of offence.

Although sympathetic to the OP, it's not necessary (from a religious point of view) for her to wear the pendant. I imagine that her employer, which earns its money out of keeping students happy, would prefer her not to wear the pendant, at this time of enormous tension. They may well not say so, though, because she might then bring a religious discrimination claim.

The employer, however, would have no obligation to accommodate such a request, cannot penalise OP, and generally many organisations would turn down such a request, much like a patient asking not to have a black nurse.

Thank you @XDownwiththissortofthingX , my point is more the way the student behaved, abusing the OP, that cannot be just shrugged off, same as any other abusive behaviour.
Yes the student can be offended, but not abusive.

It isn't the employer's business. They can't request it unless it's for health and safety purposes. What's more, in this case it's a piece of jewellery but it's not like this is the only sign we have. It's not the job of Jews to stop people from being antisemitic.