Dropping her T’s

[Stick0rTwist]

My daughter has just gone into Yr1 and is an articulate child, relatively smart with a love for reading.

We moved her to a new school in the new year and have noticed since then she has started dropping her t’s when saying many of her words, like water, better, bottle, little etc.

This gets corrected consistently at home as although we don’t speak the queens English (and are not snobbish by any stretch of the imagination) we would prefer her to speak properly and not get into bad habits speech wise.

Over the summer holidays she was fine, but I’ve noticed in the two days she’s been back her speech has reverted back.

So here’s the AIBU - would I be unreasonable to mention this to her teacher? Or would I sound like a massive snob 🙈

Sounds dramatic but it’s even making me want to move her school again as this was not a problem at her old school at all. Its been a direct result of moving school as it started the week we moved.

Sounds dramatic but it’s even making me want to move her school again as this was not a problem at her old school at all. Its been a direct result of moving school as it started the week we moved.

I think that's crazy.

FWIW this happened to me in secondary school. My mum "consistently corrected" it and it made me feel small and hurt, but didn't stop me speaking in a way that came naturally at the time. When I went to college in a different area with a different accent, I started speaking differently. That lasted into adulthood and I don't drop Ts now.

YABU. You need to get out more.

I modelled how I wanted my children to speak and would very occasionally correct glottal stops etc. They played around with sounding cool for a while but dropped it organically.

In the nicest way, you’re being ridiculous.

You want her teacher to enforce a different dialect? Are you serious?

Was the change of school linked to a move to a different part of the country? Could she be copying a regional accent of other children in the school? It is noticeable in some parts of the west country that the t's are dropped from words such as water and butter.

Get a grip, you sound like my dad.

Or my friend's racist husband who complains about Amol Rajan presenting University Challenge, because apparently he doesn't talk proper.

Where do you live? In some areas, it’s fairly common.

Do you want the teacher to correct her? Firstly, I don’t think the teacher will do this, and secondary, it will dent her (your daughter’s) confidence.

You can't speak to her teacher. At least she's not th-fronting 😉

She's just fitting in with her peers. It doesn't necessarily lead to degeneracy 👍

We’ve only moved about 6 miles away 🤷🏽‍♀️

I admit I have a London accent and drop my Ts. It drove my mum insane and she sent me to elocution lessons, didn’t work! I was generally a well behaved child but the accent was my bit of rebellion. The more my mum focussed on it, the more I kept it up to annoy her.

Where do you live? I still drop my t's as that was the regional accent where I grew up.

What do you hope the teacher will do? Small children aren't putting on an accent or dialect, they're hearing it at home and it's how they speak. And if some of the teachers speak that way, it's doubtful that the school will either fire them or require them to change their speech patterns (unless, I suppose, it's an elocution teacher). You could try what my mother (serial expat parent of 5) did: there's nothing wrong with the way your friends pronounce water, darling, but we say it differently at home. Of course, the downside of that was we then knew exactly what to say and do more of when we wanted to annoy her.

Oh god don’t speak to the teacher! You’d be the staff room laughing stock 🤣 it wouldn’t make a difference anyway, she’s picking up a way of speaking from other kids, you think the teacher’s going to hold an assembly on it and ask all the kids not to drop their Ts?! Even if in some alternate universe they did, it wouldn’t stop the kids from speaking how they naturally do. It’s reeeally not that important. Don’t constantly correct her, it’ll make her self-conscious or make her develop a superior attitude to the other kids. No one likes a child with a superior attitude. Just suck it up and be glad you don’t have bigger things to worry about.

This was me as a child, 40-odd years ago. I still joke about it now. My mum always corrected my pronunciation at home, so I learnt to speak one way at home, the other with friends or at school. It was no big deal and I've found it useful on occasion over the years to either drop into the local dialect or speak properly!

I’ve had something similar with my youngest. I correct it at home but wouldn’t dream of saying anything to the school. It would come across as snobby and, depending on where you live, there is a decent chance that many staff and families at the school use that dialect. Let’s be honest- this is a class thing in many parts of the country. Pointing this out at the school would mark you out as snobby and elitist which I’m sure you wouldn’t want.

It would come across as snobby

It wouldn't just come across as snobby. It IS snobby.

We are in the Midlands in a rural county. I don’t regularly hear my friends or friends children speak that way so it’s not necessarily a regional thing or common to the area.

I guess I do expect the teachers to correct them, she speaks properly and at the end of the day she’s there to guide them and teach them. It doesn’t need to be a big deal or a telling off, just guidance. Like when you repeat back the correct version of a word to a toddler to help them learn to talk properly. At 5 my daughter is still only young and I do expect her teacher to do this.

Wait till she becomes a teen, then she'll talk like a roadman! Innit!

Same for me. My mum was a teacher and was very insistent that I learn to speak properly so she always pulled me up on my pronounciation at home.

It put me in a good stead as an adult and I now work in a global company (and deal with 55 countries) with constant communication with mainly non-native English speakers so me speaking ‘correctly’ makes it much easier for them to understand me. I’ve also learnt the hard way myself when speaking other languages how much harder it can be to understand people who speak with stronger accents/dialects.

Oh the horror 😱😂

I expect it from a teen tbh and although it’s equally as frustrating, a teen will be doing it for more social reasons to fit in. At 5, she’s still so young and I just think if it’s not part of the regional accent I am right to encourage her to not drop them. I know I sound like a snob though 🤣

OP, if you are in the Midlands then this is definitely a class thing. Dropping ts would not be commonplace in the private schools, but it would be much more common in local state schools depending on the demographic mix. (I am also in the Midlands)

When i was a small-ish child we moved from my native Northern Part Of UK to a Posh Southern Part. Where, in what was then called Top Infants and first year Junior, my accent was soundly and roundly - sometimes literally - kicked out of me.

Children learn to code switch, so you can carry on insisting on enunciated Ts or whatever at home, just be prepared that when DC is with other children they know, they will revert.

But that's enough of a distance for there to be a different dialect or accent. My in-laws are in a Northern town on the edge of a border with another town who's accent is distinctly different.

You're drawing attention to it every time you correct her.

It's also possible that the children her age in the previous school are also talking like this.