Dropping her T’s

[Stick0rTwist]

My daughter has just gone into Yr1 and is an articulate child, relatively smart with a love for reading.

We moved her to a new school in the new year and have noticed since then she has started dropping her t’s when saying many of her words, like water, better, bottle, little etc.

This gets corrected consistently at home as although we don’t speak the queens English (and are not snobbish by any stretch of the imagination) we would prefer her to speak properly and not get into bad habits speech wise.

Over the summer holidays she was fine, but I’ve noticed in the two days she’s been back her speech has reverted back.

So here’s the AIBU - would I be unreasonable to mention this to her teacher? Or would I sound like a massive snob 🙈

Sounds dramatic but it’s even making me want to move her school again as this was not a problem at her old school at all. Its been a direct result of moving school as it started the week we moved.

You are thinking about moving schools because your daughter is picking up a local dialect?

Seriously?

I grew up in the town she now goes to school in - it’s 100% not the regional dialect

As your DD grows up she will become her own individual, she will probably do lots of tbings you might not like. Let her experiment with her speech, in a new school she may feel she needs to fit in at first. Once she is more settled and has a secure group of friends, her accent might change again.

DS used to say 'Mummy, may I have a glass of wa'er' in the local accent when he wanted to rile me up from around the age of three. I used to say 'Glottal stops make me go deaf'.

Well, to be fair, he does rather gabble.

Was there ever a question that it was a class thing? OP is a raging snob.

It's pointless trying to "correct" accents like this, but the kid will easily be able to switch as needed when they're older. My accent goes all over the place depending on which friends and family I'm with, and I can go full RP when I want to. Can't let snooty people worry that I'm not the right sort.

Well, regardless, it's still utterly ridiculous.

It could be worse, the reception TA in the first school mine went to said ‘bockle’ and ‘lickle’, which a lot of the children started to copy 🤦🏻‍♀️.
It would bother me too but I don’t think there’s anything you can do bar modelling the correct way to pronounce the words.

Thank you, this is a helpful insight. I think you may be right and maybe it is just her way of trying to fit in.

Just correct her and speak with all "t"s :) did she manage to drop her t's since September 1st-3rd when the schools started?

When I was in school my family all spoke with pronounced Liverpool accents. However when I went to work in a profession I began to speak received English. My family hated it and accused me of being snobbish so I code switched when I was with them. Later in life when I became an academic I was glad I had learned to speak correct English. As another poster has pointed out people whose first language is not English would have found it difficult to understand a strong regional accent. The advantage is that I can drop into broad Liverpudlian when I need to - such as answering the phone and pretending to be someone else.

Don't be snobby and ridiculous.

She's a young girl attempting to fit it. I did exactly the same thing, but also added swearing into the mix to disguise my rather well spoken accent at school, I stood out like a sore thumb for it.

I can easily converse with people at all levels and alter how I speak somewhat appropriately. It's never been an issue as an adult, it's been a benefit.

Leave her be.

I just keep correcting my daughter.

Yep, been fine over the holidays yet she’s been back since Tuesday and last night/this morning it’s been very apparent. Almost every sentence.

If there are 30 in the class it might be a full-time job correcting them. What else would the teacher drop?

You sound like a snob because you are being snobby.
And, unfortunately, I'm that, too! 🙈
I'd like my children to be as articulate as I am, however I am raising them in North Somerset, where the regional accent is very different to mine.
Thus, I have altered (not lowered) my expectations and whilst I gently mention 't' here and there, I'm not on their case, as a) they're 7.5 and b) my parent was always going on at me about pronunciation and enunciation.
Please don't mention it to the teacher, especially not in the early days.

He only gabbles when it’s neck and neck and he’s trying to cram the last few questions in. It is a bit annoying, but Amol’s just trying to give everyone a chance!

She honestly wouldn’t stick out in our area for pronouncing her t’s. As an adult I’d stick out more for dropping them, I don’t know any of my peers locally who do or their children and I’ve lived round here for 37 years.

She would if she said bath, grass & castle in a ‘posh’ accent round here tbf but that’s not how we speak - you wouldn’t think I was posh anyway by my accent.

Try going to a primary school in the south of England with a strong Welsh valleys accent (Sirhowy to be precise) and see how many friends you make. Sum total of zero because "You sound weird." I remember sitting in front of the mirror in my bedroom over the weekend after my first week of school teaching myself to sound the version of English that the kids in my class spoke. Mum instead of Mam. Castle with an 'R' in it, even though none exists and doubly confusing for me because it's Castell in Welsh which also does not have an 'R'! It's a fitting in thing and it worked for me. I have a magpie accent now - I pick up new bits along the way all the time because it's what I have always done. Except for when the rugby is on and wine has been consumed because it turns out you can take the girl out of the valley, but not the valley out of the girl.

TLDR: Leave her alone to find her way.

I’m from the midlands too (big town with no strong local accent) and I naturally speak with a typically RP accent (say all my t’s etc and considered ‘well spoken’ I suppose even though we’re not well-off/posh - normal lower middle class family)
However when I went to school, from primary upwards I did drop my t’s and drop/soften my ‘posh’ accent because everyone else at school did too (although admittedly especially more when I was older as people would take the mick- even though they were doing the same and naturally had the same ‘posh’ accent as me!)
I wouldn’t make a big deal of correcting your daughter all the time as it won’t help in my experience, I’m sure she will grow out of it.

I don’t actually think it’s snobby to want your daughter to pronounce her ts. You can want that for her without looking down on others. Your post doesn’t sound snobby at all. It’s far easier for non-British people to understand English where ts are pronounced and her speech will shape how others perceive and interact with her throughout her life. I make no apologies for correcting my DD when she drops her ts. I also write this as a foreign born citizen- I was born in a different English speaking county (Commonwealth) and found it very difficult to understand some dialects when I moved here. We live in an international world and speaking English in a way that is more universally understood is very useful!

Just let her speak! We're allowed to have accents now, she's not going to be held back in life if she doesn't speak RP. You do sound very snobby I'm afraid.

This was exactly my experience (also from the Midlands).

OP, code-switching is a useful skill, let your daughter fit in.

Going against the grain, I don’t like this either OP and I correct DD7 when she drops her Ts too. We’re in a mixed area of London and a lot of her peers at school do it - as does the HT (who also says ‘f’ for ‘th’, as in, ‘What do you fink of this?’)

My own parents are old-school Cockneys but they were absolutely diligent about insisting that I spoke ‘properly’ in public when I was younger and I’m so glad they did - I can code-switch with the best of them, but my ‘normal’ accent now is very neutral.

My friends’ teens all have the ubiquitous ‘road man’ accent and I think it sounds terrible - the other week the local schools were all posting on social media advertising their stellar exam results but the students they interviewed, with their strings of 8s and 9s, sounded like they could barely string a coherent sentence together. It’s not the main reason that we’re in the process of leaving London - I’m aware that this sort of stuff is everywhere - but it is a factor; my friends’ kids in the leafy Shires are nowhere near as extreme in they way they speak. I am fully aware that this makes me a raging snob but I don’t care - being able to communicate clearly and accurately will stand DD in good stead for the future, just as it did me.

But we're not talking about her developing an impenetrable Geordie dialect. This five year old will be perfectly able to make herself understood when one day she is running Deutsche Bank.