To dislike the phrase 'our family is complete'

araiwa · 04/09/2025 09:21

Don't use it then

Original poster

Newstarttoday35 · 04/09/2025 09:23

araiwa · 04/09/2025 09:21

Don't use it then

I haven't used it..I'm just saying I dislike it.

OP posts:

TheDogIsInTheTreeAgain · 04/09/2025 09:24

I think we probably said it or something similar when we had our second because people ask when the next one is.

Also implies that a 3rd child would be unwanted

We didn’t want a third child, nothing wrong with that.

Bernadinetta · 04/09/2025 09:25

If people say their family is complete after two children it means they wanted two children, it doesn’t mean anything in relation to your family of three or more children.

The key word is our family.

jay55 · 04/09/2025 09:27

It means please don’t ask us if we’re having another.

jay55 · 04/09/2025 09:27

It means please don’t ask us if we’re having another.

Bellevue85 · 04/09/2025 09:27

I view it as meaning the one or two children they had previously weren’t ‘enough’ to fulfil them (which I also know isn’t really what they mean, it’s just a generic saying really!)

Bitzee · 04/09/2025 09:27

I always thought it was a polite way of saying no and piss off to all the comments like ‘will you be having another’ or even worse ‘are you going to try again for a girl’ if you’ve had 2 boys.

PestoHoliday · 04/09/2025 09:27

Let me guess - you are a third child, or you have a third child?

Our family was "complete" when we adopted the cats. Regardless of number of offspring, a home always felt unfinished without a cat in residence.
Then we got a bit over-complete and adopted another.
And the guinea pigs.

Luxio · 04/09/2025 09:29

jay55 · 04/09/2025 09:27

It means please don’t ask us if we’re having another.

Yep this is exactly what I mean when I say our family is complete after just one child. It's much politer than stop being so fucking nosey which is often what I'm thinking.

Chemenger · 04/09/2025 09:30

I didn’t want a third child, what’s wrong with that? Other people do want third, fourth or fifth children, that’s their prerogative. My family was compete with two children, theirs were not. Don’t see a problem.

DiscoBob · 04/09/2025 09:32

What's wrong with only wanting two children? And someone might say it after 12 if that was the number they wanted.

ShesTheAlbatross · 04/09/2025 09:32

Bellevue85 · 04/09/2025 09:27

I view it as meaning the one or two children they had previously weren’t ‘enough’ to fulfil them (which I also know isn’t really what they mean, it’s just a generic saying really!)

That’s an odd view to take. If someone was upset at secondary infertility, would you take that to mean that their existing child isn’t enough?

Bellevue85 · 04/09/2025 09:34

ShesTheAlbatross · 04/09/2025 09:32

That’s an odd view to take. If someone was upset at secondary infertility, would you take that to mean that their existing child isn’t enough?

Show quote history

Refer to the other part of my comment in brackets

KimberleyClark · 04/09/2025 09:35

Are you very religious OP? Do you think it’s a sin for a couple to decide how many children they want rather than leaving it to God?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/09/2025 09:36

If their family is complete with 2 kids then a third would be unwanted, so that’s accurate. It means they aren’t having more children, really not that difficult to understand.

StampOnTheGround · 04/09/2025 09:39

I definitely said my family was complete after 2, because it is? We won’t be having any more. And it makes it clear to everyone that there is no need to ask about possible 3rd children, we have finished and are more than happy! Not really sure why you find it smug, I think that’s an odd word to describe it.

Sparklybanana · 04/09/2025 09:39

Our family was complete when we had a girl and a boy. Then came mystery prize number 3. Try as we could - I couldnt find how to get a refund or return details for him so we kept him as he's super cute. Now our family is definitely complete. 3 is enough. My mil thinks we need a 4th to make it even but haha no way José.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 04/09/2025 09:41

Newstarttoday35 · 04/09/2025 09:19

I see it constantly on social media when someone has had their second child and find it quite smug. Also implies that a 3rd child would be unwanted, I know it's just a phrase but it's just a little off-putting and engineered.

What’s wrong with a third child being unwanted?

for us, a third pregnancy would be up there with one of the worse things that could happen!

superbakedpotato · 04/09/2025 09:42

You're not being unreasonable to dislike the phrase - it makes my skin crawl at work when people constantly say "let's touch base" and I have a deep, visceral hatred for the word "slavering" - no idea why lol.

Possibly a bit unreasonable if you think it then means they will despise their next "surprise" baby though 😅

5128gap · 04/09/2025 09:43

A third child won't just turn up with their bags and be deeply damaged by not being made welcome though, will they? In a complete family a third child will not exist because the adults will take steps to prevent it, so the concept of unwelcome doesn't apply.

notacooldad · 04/09/2025 09:43

Also implies that a 3rd child would be unwanted
If i had a third child it would have been an unwanted pregnancy.

Saying that my second pregnancy wasnt particularly wanted either but he turned out to be an incredible funny, kind and caring bloke so maybe if I had a third things would have turned out alright!

Pissenlit · 04/09/2025 09:44

Bitzee · 04/09/2025 09:27

I always thought it was a polite way of saying no and piss off to all the comments like ‘will you be having another’ or even worse ‘are you going to try again for a girl’ if you’ve had 2 boys.

I imagine that’s what it is, in effect. It’s not a phrase I’ve ever used (because I’m fine with saying ‘Are you really asking me about my sex life, virtual stranger?’), but a minority of people were offensively weird after we said we weren’t having another child after we had DS. Cries of ‘But you cant have just one!’ ‘He’ll be a lonely only!’ ‘It’s selfish!’ etc. Absolutely, a second child wouldn’t have been welcome. Is that a problem?

DonnaBanana · 04/09/2025 09:45

Newstarttoday35 · 04/09/2025 09:19

I see it constantly on social media when someone has had their second child and find it quite smug. Also implies that a 3rd child would be unwanted, I know it's just a phrase but it's just a little off-putting and engineered.

What is weird about a potential future child being “unwanted”. Any time you take the pill or use contraception you are implicitly saying any potential child would be unwanted. And who cares. If you then do get pregnant and decide to keep the child then they are clearly “wanted” at that point.

Tablesandchairs23 · 04/09/2025 09:53

You're reading to much into it. Its just a saying.