To dislike the phrase 'our family is complete'

[Newstarttoday35]

I see it constantly on social media when someone has had their second child and find it quite smug. Also implies that a 3rd child would be unwanted, I know it's just a phrase but it's just a little off-putting and engineered.

It felt like exactly the right thing to sum up how happy we were as a family with baby 2 .
sorry if you don’t like that …

My mother used it to her grandmother when nan was on her last day. I think it was a lovely way to tell her all was happy and well.

It's an assertive, polite and shutting off way to close down inquisitive 'when's the next one then?' and 'I bet you're still trying for a boy - better luck next time' comments.

As in - nobody's business but ours.

I suppose at least 'touching base' is better than 'touching cloth' at work!

Both are still not good, though

Fine you don't like it, I am not a fan either,

but Also implies that a 3rd child would be unwanted, that's not what it means at all, why would you think that?

The only time I see it is when a family has had a girl and a boy and to them it’s complete. Don’t really think about it to be fair.

Its actually quite a positive expression imo. Complete implies satisfaction, couldn't want for anymore than we have. The alternative 'don't want any more children' is phrased as a negative, two is quite enough kind of thing. I'm not saying that is what's meant as that's also just an expression, but the first is the more positive sounding.

Does it really matter what other people say about their own family? It doesn't effect you in any way 🤷‍♀️

does it really matter? To me a third pregnancy would be a complete & utter disaster.

I think you are taking a harmless comment personally.
Some parents family is complete after 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.
Love grows it isn't limited.
I knew DS was my 2nd and my last.
Job done.

I've never liked it but can't really explain why. It just seems unnecessary. I never used it and was never asked if I was planning on having more children, so didn't need to.

I doubt I ever used the phrase.
It is a bit cheesy. 🧀 😋

I find it quite hard as a mum of one reading it all over social media sometimes. I would really have always liked a bigger family but due to fertility issues / other issues it didn't happen. Do I not have a "complete" family? Is my daughter's family less legitimate than your's?

It reads to me, like, "we have the perfect number of children, we can relax and enjoy our complete family now, sucks to be you if you're not there yet". I know people don't intend it that way, but thats they way I interpret it.

There’s a difference in not wanting a third child and a third child being unwanted.

I don’t like this sort of phrases but I always think that it’s just a fancy way to say: We were planning to have X amount of children and as now we have X amount of children don’t ask us questions about if, when, where and with whom we are having X+1.

There are people who think and speak quite straightforward and literally and there are people who like flowery way of talking . Both groups struggle to understand each other sometimes but it’s just their personal perceptions.

They’re just saying they have the perfect number for them, it’s not about you.

We used the phrase to tell people we wouldn’t be having more when they were asking when to expect number 3. My friend didn’t say her family was complete until after baby number 4 because that was the right and perfect number for her.

you really shouldn't interpret it that way.

For some couple, ONE child and their family is complete.
For others, it's just describing what they have, they would be happy with whatever, but they happen to have a boy and a girl, or 2 girls. For others, family is complete with 4 kids.

I don't like the expression specifically, but it's just people happy with what they have.

Well, you were at liberty to say it after you had your child, too. I mean, you're not taking a lie detector test. It's not a phrase I've ever used, but in that it reflects 'We're not planning any more children', DH and I could with truth have said it after the birth of our DS. And frankly, at the time, anything that shut down the more bizarre type of comments on intentionally having one child only would have been welcome.

I don’t see it like that but I don’t read SM (other than MN) so other people’s set ups are not on my radar. Everyone has their own ideal number in their head. I have two children and knew that was the end number for me, but in an ideal world (younger, more money, a man who didn’t turn out to be a disappointment) I would have liked four. My own personal circumstances made me realise two was my ‘complete’.

I only ever wanted 2 children, I had 2 children therefore my family was complete and I made sure I didn't have any more.

Haha yes this! Why do people think it's OK?

Unplanned doesn't mean unwanted. My last one wasn't planned but was considered to be a bonus.

I kind of think that yabu girl

My family is dcat, dd and me. We are complete

I say that because of the shame I get for being a single mum 🥺

If I had another (not likely 😭) I would amend it thats all xx

Yes exactly, I would never use that expression as it comes across as really smug and you don’t know what other people have gone through. I definitely felt ‘complete’ after our second so I get the sentiment but if anyone asked about more I just said no, we’re done.

I didn't feel a sense of the family being complete till the last one arrived, so I know the contented feeling they are talking about. Or I thought I did. I now know my family wasn't actually complete until we got the dogs! 😁

Why are you getting wound up about how other people choose to phrase that they don't want more kids?