My daughter wants a boob job

[OutbackQueen]

My lovely 25 year old girl has a thing about her breasts. Not the size (she’s blessed with a B cup unlike my G and is quite happy that they’re small) but is convinced they’re so asymmetrical that it’s causing her distress. She’s shown them to me and I had to take a guess at the one she was concerned about - I honestly thought it was the one she thought was ok.
I’ve obviously said that no-one has perfectly matched boobs and that I honestly can’t see much difference (and I’m not lying) but she’s determined. It seems such an invasive thing to do and so far she’s just had a telephone consultation but is going to see a couple of consultants soon. I’m hoping they might say that they wouldn’t advise surgery because the difference is so insignificant but of course it’ll be about £.
I don’t know whether I should say anything else to her or just support her in her decision. Honestly, it’s really upsetting me to think of her beautiful young body being sliced into.

Yes you can

You are assuming she wants kids. She may not.

She's a fully grown adult. I'd support her. Advise she has a counselling first to workout why she wants them.

It sounds like there’s more going on than concern about breasts here, has the breakup made her feel particularly insecure?

Oh gosh. Maybe there is a small difference in size but what are the chances of surgery making them identical? Have you researched stories of women having surgery for a similar problem?

OP says she’s can’t see any difference.

Some women can have major discrepancy, but that doesn’t sound like what’s going on here.

That was my point really. DD's breasts are unlikely to be absolutely identical, but the difference will be tiny and having one of them modified with surgery surely can't be guaranteed to make them identical. Perhaps she is thinking of having both done, but even then... I hope DD can get some good counselling before having invasive surgery.

You can but there is a risk of rupture.

In case this helps, there is Normal Breasts Gallery (NSFW):

http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

Plenty of people with implants have mammograms with no issues though, and at 25 I’m sure she can find that out herself. Why lie?

Yes they do but that is the risk that comes with it. I'm confused what I've lied about? I didn't post the comment saying people with implants can't have mammograms?

Someone else was advising her mum to tell her that

It was me that made the comment sorry if I have upset anyone. My neighbour has had implants for years and told me that she cannot have a mammogram because of this. I believed her and thought this was true.

I would advise helping her to chose the right surgeon who will listen to her concerns and advise.

I have mine done 12 years ago (which i am still very happy about) amd my surgeon was very clear about what could/couldn't be achieved and wouldn't operate if he felt my expectations were unrealistic. He also strongly advised sizes that would be too big/wide and explained what he would be happy and not happy to do.

Ah didn't read all the comments, I thought you meant mine.

It’s her choice at 25 to be honest you can only support her in what she chooses to do

I disagree with the not worth the risk bit.

I had surgery (albeit not a breast surgery) and it was worth every single risk. I had therapy and was told I was normal but nothing worked.

the surgery has genuinely changed my life. Given me a huge confidence boost words could never give.

It depends on the person and how much the issue gets to them.

you don't often, if ever, hear of women dying in the UK with breast augmentation or other plastic surgery. Plastic surgery in the UK is very safe so long as research has been done and every other avenue explored.

Why? Because that would be lying?

total bollocks, of course you can get a mammogram with implants.

I'm glad your operation went well.
But breast surgery is major surgery and carries all the risks of major surgery.
Plus there are the very real possibilities of complications afterwards with the implants etc.

you don't often, if ever, hear of women dying in the UK with breast augmentation or other plastic surgery.
Not often hearing about it is no consolation to those who happen to die - think of poor Colin Hendrie who lost his wife.
And not hearing about the complications doesnt mean they don't happen.
We as women are always being pressurised into achieving perfection. I do not think it's worth putting life and health at risk just to conform to societies view of what women should look like.

Tell her to watch a video the operation being done - it's horrific.

I’d advise a GP appointment before going straight to an appointment with a surgeon. She will be reassured and I’m sure she’s also aware from having researched it, that if she does have asymmetry, she would or would have (depending on allocation of NHS funds) qualify(ied) for corrective surgery. She will be told this. If as you say it’s all her head she will also be told that. She can then look into:
elective surgery if she still wants it, accepting the reassurance from a medical professional, or looking into some therapy for body dysmorphia.

This is false. Don't peddle bullshit

If she wants a boob job, be supportive. For her it's probably the best thing she will ever do.

Honestly, it’s really upsetting me to think of her beautiful young body being sliced into

It's not about you. She's 25 years old, a grown adult woman. She can (and should) make her own decisions about what she does to her own body. You don't have any ownership over her body just because you happened to give birth to her and your own emotional response to her 'beautiful young body being sliced into' isn't remotely helpful or relevant to her choice.

I understand why you feel the way you do, but I'm afraid you need to face the fact that your feelings, when it comes to another adult's body, simply don't matter.

All the comments about 'make her watch a video of the operation being done' and 'tell her this/that/the other to put her off' are appalling, frankly. She's 25 years old and is just as capable of making an informed decision about her body as any woman on this thread is. She's not a bloody child FFS and it's beyond patronising for people to assume that she can't make her own choices on this matter.

Tell her she cannot get a mammogram with implants

That's utter bullshit. You can absolutely get a mammogram with breast implants.

I thought it didn't work on light, fair hair?

I’m hoping they might say that they wouldn’t advise surgery because the difference is so insignificant but of course it’ll be about £.

Are there any ethical surgeons out there I wonder? I wonder is there any forum where they discuss plastic surgery where they could advise.

There's no guarantee that they'd be perfectly even after a boob job either.