My daughter wants a boob job

[OutbackQueen]

My lovely 25 year old girl has a thing about her breasts. Not the size (she’s blessed with a B cup unlike my G and is quite happy that they’re small) but is convinced they’re so asymmetrical that it’s causing her distress. She’s shown them to me and I had to take a guess at the one she was concerned about - I honestly thought it was the one she thought was ok.
I’ve obviously said that no-one has perfectly matched boobs and that I honestly can’t see much difference (and I’m not lying) but she’s determined. It seems such an invasive thing to do and so far she’s just had a telephone consultation but is going to see a couple of consultants soon. I’m hoping they might say that they wouldn’t advise surgery because the difference is so insignificant but of course it’ll be about £.
I don’t know whether I should say anything else to her or just support her in her decision. Honestly, it’s really upsetting me to think of her beautiful young body being sliced into.

Why would she lie to her?

The boob job, although invasive, isn't the main issue.
WHO is she doing this for?
For herself, to feel better, more satisfied and relaxed - yes, OP, please support her.
To fit in with what "men find attractive" - absolutely not.

Take her to a surgeon who specialises in breast reconstruction after cancer. They do do boob jobs, but will not be trying to encourage her to have implants like other breast surgeons. They will tell her straight if they think she has nothing to worry about.
from personal experience boob jobs don’t necessarily achieve same size breasts. Implants can contract with scar tissue and you can’t plan which boob would have this.

Op, I would tell your DD once how you really feel. That's it.

I completely understand your feelings around this, but in the end it is your dd's decision.

I hope somehow that your DD will come to a conclusion that her breasts are perfectly normal and not want surgery. The only practical thing you can do is not offer to fund surgery.

“mammography can be less effective in women who have breast implants. This is because the X-rays cannot ‘see’ through an implant to the breast tissue behind it.”

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/breast-screening-breast-implant-guidelines/breast-implants-and-breast-screening#:~:text=and%2Dbreast%2Dscreening-,1.,be%20able%20to%20be%20screened.

Op, I’ve had a boob job and still have asymmetry.
they look big and full- yes- but not symmetrical.
my surgeon said an augmentation can actually make asymmetry look worse so might be worth asking her how she would feel about that ?

Thank you all for your support. She’s funding it and I would never pay because as someone pointed out, the problem appears to be in her head. I have however offered to pay to have her ears pinned back because they stick out. It’s interesting that this doesn’t bother her and she wears her hair up a lot.
I’ve had cosmetic surgery too - I had my earlobes reduced and have just had my varicose veins done (they weren’t symptomatic) but breasts are a really big deal.
She has breasts like her dad’s sisters (not my massive norks) and one of them had implants but then had them removed so she’s going to talk to her before she agrees to have anything done.

Thank you, I’ll mention this to her.

You are being unreasonable, but let's be clear:

She is 25, an adult, and can make her own decisions. As someone who did this very same thing; it was perhaps one of the biggest and best decisions of my life imo personally. My confidence level soared through the roof, which helped me in my social life, as well as presented itself ultimately in my career through our life since no longer was I shy and hiding by myself: I was eager to have relationships with others, speak my mind, yet collaborate. Confidence helps in all areas of life. Let's be honest

But again, to be clear, as an adult: she should pay for it.

You totally can support her though!.By going to appointments. (If she is comfortable obvs.). And. helping ask questions about the process, the risks, will they need to be replaced (is she getting implants or just reconstruction I was not clear on this ...). And tbh I am not familiar with current types of surgery options (under breast/through armpit/naval, etc). or implant options either so those are good Q's Being a reconstructive surgery, it may entail a lift and even nipple movement on one breast, which could scar, but surely todays surgeons have better techniques... So long as your family history does not have bad scarring generally

Hope of help!

I hope she also asked about her ears rather than you just offered!!

Is she terrified of getting naked with another man because of asymmetrical breasts? What about getting naked with implants? Would that not make her feel more self conscious? Lots of women say they feel more confident in themselves when they have their implants removed. If she goes ahead with surgery she will regret it in the future. Talking therapy would be a better investment.

Please don't tell her she can't have a mammogram - it's complete nonsense! I have implants and have had several mammograms - there are no issues.

I do understand your concerns about her self-esteem, but she is an adult so I think you have to support her as best you can.

This sounds like a really good idea to get a balanced view.
I didn't have low self-esteem about my boobs, I was just annoyed that they weren't as nice as they used to be. My boob job did boost my confidence though and I haven't regretted it at all.

I appreciative some people have had very successful outcomes, but my sister has had to have 3 surgeries now and will likely need another. Its been an ongoing cost and her finances have changed making this hard.

I also dont think that perfect symmetry is achieved by surgery most of the time. I have seen great outcomes after breast cancer surgery but if you genuinely cant see a difference when you looked then this is not likely to work as she hopes.

I also think they will pressure her to go up a size.

I appreciative some people have had very successful outcomes, but my sister has had to have 3 surgeries now and will likely need another. Its been an ongoing cost and her finances have changed making this hard.

I also dont think that perfect symmetry is achieved by surgery most of the time. I have seen great outcomes after breast cancer surgery but if you genuinely cant see a difference when you looked then this is not likely to work as she hopes.

I also think they will pressure her to go up a size.

You are offering to pay for her to get a procedure even though she isnt self conscious about it? On the one hand telling her not to worry about something about her body that she is conscious of, but then pointing out something else.

So tricky for you OP. I know she is an adult, but I would feel the same as you in your position.

I also am lopsided in the boob department, even more so after breast feeding. I was only an A cup before that, so it was less noticeable.

i would gently try and encourage “body neutrality” and normalising bodies of all shapes & sizes. See if you can get her to follow Tori the Therapist on Instagram. She has some great reels about body acceptance and normalising the normal!!

www.instagram.com/tori_the_therapist?igsh=ZDhlaHZjMjExZ2lk

Wonder if you'd feel differently if she wanted a breast reduction?
My parents supported me through one when I was 16. Best decision and I have never regretted it.

Ultimately her decision and if she's sure it'll bring her more confidence and happiness then surely it's a no brainer. It's so common nowadays!

Can’t stress enough how important it is to make an informed decision. Check this out:

Breast Implant Illness and Healing by Nicole

https://www.facebook.com/groups/Healingbreastimplantillness/

Is there a chance there's a less nuclear option for her if the difference isn't too pronounced, like a fat transfer?

Hopefully you'll get a good surgeon who can help and not someone who is seeing pound signs as she walks in.

This is not true at all. I don't know if the person was stating it as such to lie or thinks it is true. But it is not. Always talk to your doctor of course..
In terms of breast feeding, the only things that would affect that are if she does get implants, how they were implanted (above or below the muscles), and/or if not either way if reconstruction of one and say, a nipple was moved, that one breast may be affected. While the other breast could still breast feed, doing so would more likely result in once again having asymmetry. However, down the line one would want to get a newer boob job anyway so no big deal.
My oldest sibling had implants and breastfed all five of her children! She eventually had them removed, however. She didn't realize having children can potentially give you a growth spurt and she grew bigger than a double D...Back pain is worse with fake books as they are heavier than the weight of same size real boobs...
Interesting fact of the day by

~ FancyBean 😂. ,

I have one that "sags" slightly lower than the other, they are probably asymmetrical too but I've never paid much attention. Boobs are sisters, not twins. It's normal for them not to be identical x

Implants weigh roughly the same as natural breast tissue.