At my wits end with colleague

[HelloWanda]

I work Monday to Friday, 40 hours a week. Colleague works Monday to Thursday, 40 hours a week.

We work in apprenticeships and each have our own workload as it’s too much for just one person to do. Our company does apprenticeships for finance, accounting, tax, data and a few others. So for example I will handle all apprentices doing finance and accounting, and she will do tax and data. It’s the same job so it’s easy to pick up each others work and we work off the same spreadsheets and programs so can see where each other is up to.

All my colleague ever does is moan on a Monday morning and when she’s back from annual leave about how much work she has to do that hasn’t been done in her absence (by me). She doesn’t explicitly say to me “you haven’t done this” or “why isn’t this done?” But she will moan and moan saying things like “I came in to 300 emails today. Were you on your own on Friday?” Or “I told my partner I was still doing Fridays emails and he asked why when I don’t work Fridays lol” I replied to that one by saying “did you explain to him that it’s still your own workload?” Or “oh this came in on Friday afternoon… did no one think to action it?” (There’s three of us in the time but the other person doesn’t have the same job as us).

She has just been off for two weeks and it was a very busy period. As you can imagine, lots of people starting apprenticeships in September so we had lots of last minute applications for spare spaces, us chasing things up from people who haven’t sent us things yet and their deadline is approaching etc. I did as much as I physically could! But it seems she has expected me to complete all of her work so that she comes into nothing, and it’s not possible. I can’t do two peoples jobs, and I don’t know why she doesn’t realise that. I did anything of hers that was urgent, but other than that I left some things that I didn’t get round to because I had my own work to do as well.

She is making me stressed. Last week I made sure everything important was done but yesterday and today all she has done is moan about the bits not done. I was about to say something to her but I’m not very confrontational and don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want workplace drama and don’t want to “fall out”. But is this the right way to go about it? Do I say something to her or to my manager? How do I go about it? I genuinely feel like looking for another job because I’m expected (by her, not by my manager) to essentially do 6 days worth of work in 5 days, because I am expected to do everything of hers that comes in on Friday. And it’s draining me having to deal with her every week.

Yes, you should have a honest conversation with your manager. She has no right to be speaking to you like that. Prepare what you need to say. Hope you get some support and start to feel better soon.

Speak to your manager. If she cant manage her work in her 10 hour day that its left for you she needs to raise with her manager that she cant manage her workload

And anytime she says anything to you, id smile sweetly and say "Well, I always try and pick up any of your workload you weren't able to finish. But as youre aware we're so busy my own workloads taken up almost all my week. I haven't had spare time to help you with yours more" or "oh, well if 5 over 4 doesnt work for managing your work load and youre having to do extra to handle it maybe see about going back to standard days if youre working Fridays anyway or speak to boss name about reducing your workload to a more manageable amount"

Here’s the problem. You see it as your work and her work, she sees it as the team’s work, which is what it is. The fact it has been split is irrelevant, it’s still work your office needs to do. She is picking up work no matter who it is nominally assigned to, because it needs to be done. I can see why it would irk her that you don’t. She is correct that it makes you seem like you aren’t a team player. Strange how she seems able to do that for you but you can’t for her, citing her own ‘personal’ email box.

With my team, if someone is on holiday, we cover their work. If that means pulling extra hours, it’s what we do. Then when it’s quieter and people want to clock off early or come in late, take a half day, that’s ok too.

but if you read the OP's posts, that isn't what is happening.

Her colleague is picking up some of OP's work when OP isn't there, but OP is refusing to do the same on a Friday when her colleague isn't there.. and citing 'well i've told her not to so why would she think I would do it' as her reason.

OP isn't being a team player.

i'm baffled that everyone is completely skipping what was said in her 14:51 post tbh.

"She will even do unpaid overtime to finish off my work for me. [...] when I tell her to just leave it she says “no, we are a team and have to help each other” but I haven’t asked her to do that! And she obviously wants the same in return from me but I won’t"

Which perfectly explains why the op hasn’t done anything about it for 3 years and doesn’t really seem to do anything about it going forwards.

Because this colleague has been there almost 3x as long as her and is clearly a very good employee and one that management will listen to and no doubt not even a chance she’ll even remotely be chastised.

chances are… this could back fire if the op did address with management

To me the sensible thing would be to clarify with Management what the expectations ARE over the shared inbox when one is in but the other isn't.

If for 8 years the expectation has been its considered the done thing to do anything that comes in, not just your own area, and the OP comes in after 5 years of that being the status quo, and is refusing to continue that expectation, then i can understand WHY her colleague is getting upset/moaning about it.

I didn’t get the OP is refusing to pick up anything? She just can’t pick it all up was what I was getting?

If she is picking up “your” work but you not “hers” then that’s not right - probably - assuming the split was fair in the first place. But how can “everyone lick everything up” work when everyone works different hours? You can’t do two days’ work on fridays. And it feels unlikely to me that the flow of work coming in late on the other days, the days she works later than you, would be such that it’s equal to the Friday work.

That actually is a question for the manager. Also what is the actual level of urgency and do all tasks have the same?

Your manager should set some limits on holidays being taken at the busiest times of year. I knew when my busy/important times were and wouldn't dream of booking 2 weeks holiday when it wasn't appropriate.

Ah, so she likes playing the martyr and expects you to do the same and will huff and puff if you don't. I would either talk to your manager about this or grey rock her. She's the one with the problem, not you. Let her moan or tell her she'd get her work done faster if she moaned less, if you feel brave. Easiest would just be to shrug your shoulders when she moans and just get yourself something to drink.

I would just tell her that, if she's struggling to keep up with her workload by working her hours over 4 days, then you'll be more than happy to suggest to your manager that she starts to work the same shifts as you do

I dont agree that OP is not being a team player. She has already stated that she will pick up her colleague's urgent work if it comes in on a friday in addition to her own. In effect tasks which cannot wait until monday. However less urgent tasks are left for when the colleague next attends.

OP cannot be expected to pick up the workload of two people on a friday just because her colleague chooses not to work on that day. So she is already using her professional judgement to analyise which tasks cannot wait and which can be left over. In addition she had her own tasks to complete on friday and will obviously prioritise those. This seems reasonable to me.

What we are looking at here are two different styles of working, plus poor management practice when it somes to scheduling leave at busy periods.

"Sarah, if it was possible for me to do your job in its entirety as well as my own then they'd make you redundant and pay me to do it instead right?" Tinkly laugh and two fingers under the desk.

On Mondays I would say ‘have you realised you always say this on Mondays, if the compressed hours aren’t working for you you know that you can always ask our manager to go back to normal full time hours? Would you like me to flag it to them?’ And then next week I’d say I’m going to explain to our manager that the compressed hours plan isn’t working because it really gets me down coming in in Monday and you having a go because I haven’t done your work. If you want your Friday work done on Fridays, you’ll have to work on friday. It’s not rocket science.
I don’t believe in letting people moan at me!

No one should be doing unpaid overtime though. Least of all expecting a colleague to do it. That's not being a team player.

there seems to be a management problem as to how the compressed hours will work. Does the colleague have enough work allocated to her for these long hours? Or does she need to take some of her colleagues work to fill her time, then work extra to finish these off?

I work condensed hours and it works well for me. But no one picks up my work on a Friday unless urgent, as it's allocated to me and my bosses are aware of my working pattern.

management here need to look at what is the best process for the department and communicate that out.

Next time she moans simply say your sorry the compressed hours aren’t working out for her and she needs to flag it to management and you will back her up as she’s been raising the fact it’s not working for a while and your glad she’s going to be proactive In fixing it rather than keep complaining to you as you were about to flag it with management yourself as your worried about her wellbeing as she of-loads on you every Monday .

This is your actual issue. She does it for you and you do not do it for her in return. That is what needs to be addressed.

Does she do all your work when you're on leave?

Aww this woman needs to fuck right off!!!

speak to your manager. ❤️

I don't get it. Why would you do someone' else's work without pay. But she is also correct she shouldn't have to do work that came up during her break. They need someone to cover it.

Surely it’s easier for the colleague to pick up a few late incoming tasks for OP on her extended days, than it is for OP to cover colleague’s entire workflow on Fridays. I don’t know why employers allow 4 day weeks as it just creates a burdensome day for everyone else.

Tell her that you cannot do her work on Fridays, it's just not physically possible, and that if it's a real problem she will have to take it to her manager, just repeat this everytime she starts moaning.