At my wits end with colleague

[HelloWanda]

I work Monday to Friday, 40 hours a week. Colleague works Monday to Thursday, 40 hours a week.

We work in apprenticeships and each have our own workload as it’s too much for just one person to do. Our company does apprenticeships for finance, accounting, tax, data and a few others. So for example I will handle all apprentices doing finance and accounting, and she will do tax and data. It’s the same job so it’s easy to pick up each others work and we work off the same spreadsheets and programs so can see where each other is up to.

All my colleague ever does is moan on a Monday morning and when she’s back from annual leave about how much work she has to do that hasn’t been done in her absence (by me). She doesn’t explicitly say to me “you haven’t done this” or “why isn’t this done?” But she will moan and moan saying things like “I came in to 300 emails today. Were you on your own on Friday?” Or “I told my partner I was still doing Fridays emails and he asked why when I don’t work Fridays lol” I replied to that one by saying “did you explain to him that it’s still your own workload?” Or “oh this came in on Friday afternoon… did no one think to action it?” (There’s three of us in the time but the other person doesn’t have the same job as us).

She has just been off for two weeks and it was a very busy period. As you can imagine, lots of people starting apprenticeships in September so we had lots of last minute applications for spare spaces, us chasing things up from people who haven’t sent us things yet and their deadline is approaching etc. I did as much as I physically could! But it seems she has expected me to complete all of her work so that she comes into nothing, and it’s not possible. I can’t do two peoples jobs, and I don’t know why she doesn’t realise that. I did anything of hers that was urgent, but other than that I left some things that I didn’t get round to because I had my own work to do as well.

She is making me stressed. Last week I made sure everything important was done but yesterday and today all she has done is moan about the bits not done. I was about to say something to her but I’m not very confrontational and don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want workplace drama and don’t want to “fall out”. But is this the right way to go about it? Do I say something to her or to my manager? How do I go about it? I genuinely feel like looking for another job because I’m expected (by her, not by my manager) to essentially do 6 days worth of work in 5 days, because I am expected to do everything of hers that comes in on Friday. And it’s draining me having to deal with her every week.

Are you doing all of your work and some of her work on Fridays? Or does she do some of your work too. If it's always you helping out with hers then I would say I have to do my work first and then I do what I can of yours. If you each do equal amounts of each others then its quits. Maybe you should start moaning as well about how much work there is to do!

So I’m not expected to do this by my manager. What is supposed to happen is if anything comes in that is super urgent, the person who is in will pick it up. If it’s not urgent, it will be left for when they are back in. It’s the colleague herself who seems to be expecting me to do this. She has never explicitly said the words “you need to do my work on a Friday” but she complains when she comes in to lots of work on a Monday that came in on Friday. Same thing happening now that she’s had two weeks off. Most Monday afternoons she will message me complaining that she is still doing Fridays work and hasn’t even got to Mondays yet. But surely thats just what happens when you condense your hours? Anything that comes in for you on your day off will have to be picked up when you’re in, unless urgent? She seems to think that I should be picking it all up as I’m in and she’s not

Gotcha, definitely raise it. If she wants her work done on a Friday, she shouldn't work condensed hours. She sounds like someone who is difficult to reason with, so do it via management.

since she works longer hours Mon to Thursday, there must be stuff coming in after you log off but whilst she is still working. Does she do your things then? or does she leave them for you for the next day? I guess it's the latter.

Well in the fortnight post her coming back… make sure you’re in only 2x a week!

Certainly raise this with manager
but be prepared for there to be some mud slinging

I wouldn't be asking for clarification from your manager of expectations for each of you, or a three-way meeting. Of course your manager will end up backing your colleague who goes the extra mile for free. Go down this road at your peril.

You need to keep your focus on the single point that you are fulfilling the job requirements that you're being paid for, and it's being on the receiving end of criticisms - real and implied - which are neither warranted nor for your colleague to make (she's not your manager) that are unacceptable. And remember your manager isn't your mum and you and your colleagues aren't siblings. This isn't about "it's not fair, she's annoooooooying me". Be the grown up you are and talk to her directly - if you go through life disliking confrontation you'll go through life being treated this way all the time. Speak up.

I was going to say this too.. how much work does she do of yours once you’ve left for the day @HelloWanda ?

Quite frankly, her job isn’t suitable for compressed hours. It’s her choice not to work on Fridays, but the gen public aren’t to know this and quite frankly it’s irrelevant to them and not their problem.

Ask her not to cover your non urgent work and explain that you don't want her to.

Also make it clear that you won't be covering hers unless it is urgent.

What on earth makes you so confident as to be more sure of what is suitable for the position that the employer?

Without being irresponsible, sometimes you have to let the system fail as it were. There’s too much for two people to do without mistakes being made. Your manager needs to be aware of this.

She's still doing the equivalent of 5 8hr days, so of course she's doing Friday's work for the majority of Monday!

I agree you need to ask your manager to have a word with her about her expectations and how compressed hours work.

She's doing the same hours as you, she shouldn't be expecting you to do 20% of her work every week on top of your own, which is what it amounts to! 😂

I have told her to but she won’t have any of it. I have already told her don’t do it but because she expects it of me, she does it herself. Anything she wants me to do, she does it too so that she can say “I do all of this for you, yet you don’t return it, you’re not a team player” even though I have never wanted or expected her to do it for me

So you’re going to raise with manager?

Are you sure she is trying to imply you should have done the work for her, and not just having a general moan about workload? Can't you just schedule a quick meeting with her and say you notice she says this a lot and you're not sure if she is just venting about workload in general or hinting that you should be doing more? And that you've checked policy and its only picking up very urgent work for others in their absence. And you're not expecting her to do anything else for you and you just want to check what her expectations are for you in her absence, because if they're ant different to the proper policy tiu think it would be a good idea to discuss resource and priorities with management

How long have you both been there op?

It would be interesting to hear the other side of the story. I’m in a similar situation but your colleague. If I didn’t work extra, and faster there would be a backlog but my colleague would state her case as yours when in reality she takes twice as long to do everything. If you hadn’t had said the industry I’d have wondered if you were her.

She is doing the equivalent of 5 x 8 hour days condensed into four. So one day she is going to have to do the work of the missing day - i.e. Monday is going to be mainly Friday's work, and by Tuesday midday she has caught up. Ask her why she finds this a difficult concept.

Well the manager is soon enough going to hear both sides, and will be interesting to know which side the manager falls on. We won’t know though i imagine!

Stand your ground. Repeat ad nauseam, if necessary. I'd go so far as to use words like "I've already told you that you don't need to do xyz for me, Helen. That's my job, not yours - just like abc is your job and not mine". If it comes to it, tell her outright that her choice to condense her hours and not work on a Friday doesn't mean you pick up her job on Fridays. Obviously if she is out on Friday, her work will pile up on Fridays and she'll come into a lot of emails on Mondays. This is her choice and nothing to do with you. You both get paid for doing your own work, not each other's.

She has been there 8 years and for me coming up to 3 years

Get the manager to explain to her that work that happens on Friday is still her work.

And she’s well regarded?

OP, are you going to raise the issue? You need to be sure that you’re crystal clear on the situation before doing so, as quite naturally your colleague will put forth her side of the situation

“Get the manager” 🙄

The manager will do what they think is correct in the circumstances having spoken to both employees

The bottom line is that your colleague is treating this role like a jobshare with her doing condensed hours. It's not a jobshare, is it?