At my wits end with colleague

[HelloWanda]

I work Monday to Friday, 40 hours a week. Colleague works Monday to Thursday, 40 hours a week.

We work in apprenticeships and each have our own workload as it’s too much for just one person to do. Our company does apprenticeships for finance, accounting, tax, data and a few others. So for example I will handle all apprentices doing finance and accounting, and she will do tax and data. It’s the same job so it’s easy to pick up each others work and we work off the same spreadsheets and programs so can see where each other is up to.

All my colleague ever does is moan on a Monday morning and when she’s back from annual leave about how much work she has to do that hasn’t been done in her absence (by me). She doesn’t explicitly say to me “you haven’t done this” or “why isn’t this done?” But she will moan and moan saying things like “I came in to 300 emails today. Were you on your own on Friday?” Or “I told my partner I was still doing Fridays emails and he asked why when I don’t work Fridays lol” I replied to that one by saying “did you explain to him that it’s still your own workload?” Or “oh this came in on Friday afternoon… did no one think to action it?” (There’s three of us in the time but the other person doesn’t have the same job as us).

She has just been off for two weeks and it was a very busy period. As you can imagine, lots of people starting apprenticeships in September so we had lots of last minute applications for spare spaces, us chasing things up from people who haven’t sent us things yet and their deadline is approaching etc. I did as much as I physically could! But it seems she has expected me to complete all of her work so that she comes into nothing, and it’s not possible. I can’t do two peoples jobs, and I don’t know why she doesn’t realise that. I did anything of hers that was urgent, but other than that I left some things that I didn’t get round to because I had my own work to do as well.

She is making me stressed. Last week I made sure everything important was done but yesterday and today all she has done is moan about the bits not done. I was about to say something to her but I’m not very confrontational and don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want workplace drama and don’t want to “fall out”. But is this the right way to go about it? Do I say something to her or to my manager? How do I go about it? I genuinely feel like looking for another job because I’m expected (by her, not by my manager) to essentially do 6 days worth of work in 5 days, because I am expected to do everything of hers that comes in on Friday. And it’s draining me having to deal with her every week.

But we each have our OWN workloads. So me being slow at mine isn’t her concern and wouldn’t affect her in the slightest. There’s no need for her to touch mine. If I’m working too slow and not getting things done, my manager will pick that up with me. It doesn’t have any consequence for her at all so it doesn’t make sense

The issue here isn’t you, it’s that her condensed hours are not suited to a 5 day/week service. Don’t get dragged into it, OP! If she wants to make a song and dance, let her, but as soon as management get involved, if they’ve any sense, they’ll tell her this and she’ll have to work Fridays as well. There’s clearly a business need.

The manager still needs to be informed.

I complained about one of my colleagues to my manager, and things did imrpove

Well in that case, get off mumsnet and ask to have a chat with your manager.

if it is that straightforward then I’m baffled why you haven’t put it so succinctly to your manager

Informed… yes

Ordered to “explain” to an employee something? No

She obviously thinks that things that happen on friday are not her responsibility as she doesnt work that day.

You are not able to do everything alone on friday.

You need to bring this issue to the manager

The most obvious issue is taking annual leave at the busiest time of year. It seems that neither of you should be taking annual leave in August & September.

I have just come here to ask for advice on the best way to go about it so that I can think about all options

Is she doing your work as she's working longer days, has finished her own and has time to pick up your work once you've gone home and she's working another 2 hours?

As for messaging on your day off yesterday just don't reply. Work replies are in work time when you are being paid.

Now i think of it, i did have a slightly similair situation at my work.

I do the same role as one other person. We are never there at the same time. We handover to each other.

He was working on wednesday alone and there was a thing that he was supposed to do.

I was working on thursday alone, i was snowed under with my own work. I got asked my boss had the wednesday item been done.

I said i dont know as he is not here today. It turned out that he hadn't done it, and I got shouted at for not checking that it was done.

I was fuming as i feel that he didnt do it out of laziness. But i did realise that I have to check what he has done to lead to good service.

Handover roles like these can lead to resentment

Don’t talk to manger
do talk to manager

ok if you’ve sucked it up for 3 years, what another few years!

Yeah you’re right. Thank you

I’d keep dismissing her, ‘that’s the trade off for having a 4 day working week I guess!’ ‘Oh well that’s the job!’ ‘Gosh you always seem stressed about working don’t you’, ‘oh dear’ etc

Also, if it's that busy a time of year, AL should be very limited

I’d speak to manager with concrete examples and ask if expectations can be made clear.
It sounds like she thinks you should do all the work if she isn’t in and you think you should do only your work plus just help in emergency.
So if a none urgent query comes in on a Fri on her file you wouldn’t touch it but she’s thinking you should.
It does sound like annual leave August/September should be blocked out.

This isn’t a manager thing, she’s just a moany twat. It’s really bad when people are like this, very unprofessional, but it’s not a sort of compliance thing so you have to deal with it yourself.

laugh at her when she moans on Mondays and point out it’s her choice to do compressed hours. Ignore messages out of hours. When she messages on teams speak up and make her look stupid - say aloud, pleasantly, things along the lines of, look I don’t know what you want me to do with this? If uour compressed hours are stressing you out then is it really working for you? Keep smiling, keep up the positivity

OP, I would speak to the manager only if there is any lack of clarity on what you are/ are not supposed to do - for example the level of holiday cover. Just make sure you are absolutely certain your manager would back you if you stated your responsibilities do not cover her work as she expects.
Then, I would prepare a few stock phrases to push back whilst at the time taking her little passive aggressive comments at face value. Eg.
Complaining about coming back to loads of mails on Monday ‘well of course, given you are not in Friday they are going to build up aren’t they, good job you work longer hours today and tomorrow to catch up eh? Or how about ‘yes I imagine that is difficult - do you think your condensed hours are not working for you? Do you think you need to start working Fridays like I do? Another more direct one - ‘colleague you seem to say this every Monday - what are you going to do about it?’
Oh and lastly, just don’t answer work calls / emails if you are not working.

Just curious.. are you the first person to do your job, or was someone else doing it prior?

I appreciate you've been there 3 years, but if the person previously in your role DID share workload with her, there is a reasonable grounds for the expectation from her, that you would continue to do that.

Maybe in her eyes you're the newbie who is just being difficult/lazy by refusing to play the reciprocal game that she always did with your predecessor?

This.

Sorry this must be very stressful. The demarcation lines haven't been sorted. Your manager needs to clarify. Marshall your facts and examples as you have here. Summarise the problem. things like. What is the expectation when covering leave? Its not possible to do two weeks worth of two jobs at the same time. Can we plan how the excess will be dealt with/caught up and by who?
Be non emotive.

She's not going to change and frankly she sounds like a natural born moaner and also sounds very entitled. Its up to your manager to sort out how work is allocated and what each of your responsibilities are. Not her.

Answer back, when you know she's factually wrong or just throwing out allegations. Have some prepared phrases up your sleeve to shut her down. Some times saying very firmly. That is completely untrue. Get your facts straight. can surprise them into silence. Or I'm not arguing with you if you can't even get your facts straight.
Not saying anything allows the juggernaut to continue rolling, when she knows she'll get push back, she'll think twice. However, this is tricky because its sometimes a judgement call over when things should be ignored or fires put out.
Hope you get some good ideas on this thread and can deal with it.

She needs prioritise her own work. Next time it is raised reply with, "I don't think it is possible for you to pick up my workload and do condensed hours. You need to trial working differently. Prioritise your own work and see what difference that makes, if it doesn't make a difference try going back to five days a week so we can be clear what the issue is. Maybe we just have too much work". If that is your only response, you take the passive bit out of her passive aggression.

Your manager sounds utterly useless.
Having one to ones with her staff is part of their core remit, and if that’s not happening there should at least be a half yearly discussion for your annual review. That plus they appear to approve annual leave even if it’s at your busiest time and have allowed a compressed working pattern that is clearly problematic to continue.

I would email them to say you want to discuss something. Be very factual about it and ask if there is an expectation that you cover colleagues work on their non working day as that is not possible for you. Try and get them to confirm in writing that it is not required from you.

Tempting as it is to be arsey with colleague I would be very careful and remain ultra professional in your responses at all time. Personally I would just ignore any Monday moaning from now on. In fact I would respond as little and infrequently as you can unless it is a direct question where a response is required.

She is a cheeky bitch, do you contact her on her day off (Fridays) about work? Text her next Friday about some work related issue and maybe then she will get it

She is attempting to place herself in a position of authority over you when ye are actually at the same level…..you need to stand up to her,

Was also going to ask what she thought would happen going on holiday at your busiest time. Having worked there 8 years, it can’t have come as a major surprise that she’s come back to lots of work in September.

If the end of August/beginning of September is an especially busy period, why was she granted 2 weeks Leave? That sounds like poor management practice.

I used to work in HE and depending on your role, there were certain times of year that staff couldn’t take leave.

I think you need a meeting with your manager to raise your concerns and discuss options.

This, but I would tweak it to make it clear that she’s not actually doing her job. Something like:

Look, we work the same number of hours and have the same workload but I’m already picking up some of your workload in addition to mine, it sounds as though you’re still struggling to get the remainder done though? Should we discuss with management for their suggestions?

I suspect this should clarify her thinking somewhat.