Is this a Red flag?

[redkite27]

Recently we were at a family party. I was chatting with my SIL and BIL hadn’t arrived yet, he was coming from work. It was a busy party, big family and loads of friends and kids.

When BIL arrived he said hello to a few people, smacked his own sister’s bum and said hello to her and only then came over to his wife to say hello.

They seem to have an excellent marriage and very happy, but surely slapping your own sister’s bum as a greeting is weird?!!

She laughed and SIL didn’t seem bothered, but I think she clocked I had noticed and said something like “oh he always does that” and rolled her eyes. It’s odd isnt it?

Nope.

Are you implying that they are having sex?

A red flag for what?

It's a bit 1970s, but I'd take it as a green flag myself. People with good sibling relationships know how to have good relationsbips.

This sounds to me like the BIL interacting with his sister in a way that didn't happen in your birth family. To me, it seems quite normal.

i agree with you OP, i think it's weird

I don’t think SIL would view his own sister as a threat. And saying hello to others before the wife is not unusual imo, I say hello in the order I see/meet people and if anyone stands nearer to me than DH I’d say hello to this person first. I might also head over to a family member I haven’t seen in a while before heading over to DH because I had seen him this morning.

My BIL smacks DH’s bum. It’s quite funny

It's a bit unusual but I would assume that he was being silly not sexy!

It really depends on the family dynamics. Is this something he's done since they were kids, and he still thinks it's hilariously funny?! It's not something my husband would do to either of his sister's.

I defo don’t think that SIL would see her SIL as a threat and certainly not suggesting BIL is having sex with his DS!

I just think that slapping her bum as a way of greeting is totally over the top.

If my DB did that to me, I would think he had had some kind of breakdown! Just find it really odd. I guess I think it’s a red flag for BIL’s priorities and if feels like he was showing off. Would others be happy with their DB greeting them in this way?

That’s very different though I think!

No, he has never down it before. Started recently according to SIL

Honestly, it is probably just a case of him reverting to being a silly little boy with his sister. Yes, it's unusual, but if she is ok with it then I just wouldn't worry. I don't think that a silly family dynamic between two sibling has to be a sign of anything bigger. If he was going around doing it to women everywhere that would be another matter.

I’ve got two brothers and they would never slap me on the bum - that’s very weird 😄

I don’t think I’d read anything into it but it is odd 😳

Would others be happy with their DB greeting them in this way?

I think your thread is taking quite an odd turn now.

In what way?