Page 4 | Should we buy the car or give her the money?

sunshinehunter9 · 2025-09-01T15:01:16+00:00

So my dd turns 18 next month, her driving test is 2 days before her birthday. She has a trust fund with 2 grand that was set aside in the hope she buys a car with it, but only she can access it. I know she absolutely loves a certain car in a certain colour and magically one is for sale near us asking for 1500. I think we should buy the car then take the 1500 back once she empties her trust fund. Leaving her with 500 cash plus all the gifts we have already bought her. My DH thinks we should just give her the full fund and it's up to her how much she spends on the car. Who is being unreasonable? YABU - give her the full amount Or YANBU - use the money for the car and give her the 500 Also for note my DD really wants a car however she loves Temu and shopping and I doubt the money will go to a car in the long run and it was saved for that purpose.

xILikeJamx · 03/09/2025 11:13

TotalDramarama24 · 03/09/2025 11:01

Unless I’ve read this completely wrong it’s because it’s not actually the 18 year old’s money yet until she gets presented with it for her birthday? The OP has saved £2000 in a “trust fund” which was going to be given as a surprise birthday gift. The OP is asking whether to give a gift of the money or gift of car plus £500. The DD is completely unaware that the money or possibility of car exists.

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If it's in a fund that only DD can access, then it's not OP's money any more

Iansavestheday · 03/09/2025 11:32

TotalDramarama24 · 03/09/2025 11:01

Unless I’ve read this completely wrong it’s because it’s not actually the 18 year old’s money yet until she gets presented with it for her birthday? The OP has saved £2000 in a “trust fund” which was going to be given as a surprise birthday gift. The OP is asking whether to give a gift of the money or gift of car plus £500. The DD is completely unaware that the money or possibility of car exists.

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You did read it wrong.

Blissker · 03/09/2025 11:59

TotalDramarama24 · 03/09/2025 11:01

Unless I’ve read this completely wrong it’s because it’s not actually the 18 year old’s money yet until she gets presented with it for her birthday? The OP has saved £2000 in a “trust fund” which was going to be given as a surprise birthday gift. The OP is asking whether to give a gift of the money or gift of car plus £500. The DD is completely unaware that the money or possibility of car exists.

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OP does say very clearly that only DD can access the money.

So I think they have decided to surprise her with the car with the bow on it, then say "by the way you have a secret account with £2k in it. You need to open it up and give us £1500 of it".

Happygolucky314 · 03/09/2025 13:50

TotalDramarama24 · 03/09/2025 11:01

Unless I’ve read this completely wrong it’s because it’s not actually the 18 year old’s money yet until she gets presented with it for her birthday? The OP has saved £2000 in a “trust fund” which was going to be given as a surprise birthday gift. The OP is asking whether to give a gift of the money or gift of car plus £500. The DD is completely unaware that the money or possibility of car exists.

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People cant fathom it.

Iansavestheday · 03/09/2025 13:59

Happygolucky314 · 03/09/2025 13:50

People cant fathom it.

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Because that posters understanding is incorrect.

TotalDramarama24 · 03/09/2025 20:02

All my children have money in child trust funds that only they will be able to access at the time they turn 18. None of them know of it’s existence and I put in all the money except the government contribution. The OP knows her child well enough to judge if she will be happy receiving a car on her birthday and handing over £1500 of it, or receiving the whole £2000. I know two of mine definitely would prefer a car.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 03/09/2025 20:25

TotalDramarama24 · 03/09/2025 20:02

All my children have money in child trust funds that only they will be able to access at the time they turn 18. None of them know of it’s existence and I put in all the money except the government contribution. The OP knows her child well enough to judge if she will be happy receiving a car on her birthday and handing over £1500 of it, or receiving the whole £2000. I know two of mine definitely would prefer a car.

Yeah but plenty would like to get the fun of purchasing their own car too! That’s part of the enjoyment and a first big decision to make as a legal ‘adult’

Firststop · 03/09/2025 20:29

Have you looked at how much it will cost to insure this car for a 17yo? Do that and work out who's paying and how before you buy anything.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 03/09/2025 20:33

Firststop · 03/09/2025 20:29

Have you looked at how much it will cost to insure this car for a 17yo? Do that and work out who's paying and how before you buy anything.

She answered this in her first reply

MyElatedUmberFinch · 03/09/2025 20:43

A she’s buying herself a ‘surprise’ car?

Fluffyholeysocks · 03/09/2025 20:56

I think you need to hold your horses. What happens if she fails her test? What happens if her Uni is one of those that actively discourage student bringing cars? If she passes and takes her car to Uni how will she finance running it? Its seems a bit premature talking about buying it.

Iansavestheday · 03/09/2025 21:05

TotalDramarama24 · 03/09/2025 20:02

All my children have money in child trust funds that only they will be able to access at the time they turn 18. None of them know of it’s existence and I put in all the money except the government contribution. The OP knows her child well enough to judge if she will be happy receiving a car on her birthday and handing over £1500 of it, or receiving the whole £2000. I know two of mine definitely would prefer a car.

It doesn’t matter whether she would be happy with it or not. It’s completely out of line to make these decisions for someone else.

idontknowwhattochangemynameto · 03/09/2025 21:29

It’s not really a birthday present as she’s buying it herself out of her trust fund….

idontknowwhattochangemynameto · 03/09/2025 21:31

sunshinehunter9 · 01/09/2025 19:45

Okay to clear a few things up...who's money do you think is in it?
Mine.
I paid all of that into an account, I'm the main account holder and she's named on it. So when pp say buy a present with your own money, that IS our money, being gifted to her. We just wasn't sure if we should buy a car or give her the whole amount. She doesn't know this account exists. Plus as stated we've already bought her gifts as well.
In regards to uni she is still living at home, uni is 30 mins away either by bus or driving and the uni has ample parking spaces, however her friends are in different towns and she would like the freedom of a car.
Thanks for everyones views, my DH and I are still in discussions.

You can’t give someone £2000 and then dictate what they spend it on 🤣🤣🤣

Bateson · 03/09/2025 21:46

Think I’d see if she passed her test first.

MeridaBrave · 03/09/2025 22:10

Does she need a car? I mean we’ve set aside much more than £2k for each DC (more like £100k each) and even then I’d never allow them to blow it on a car. It’s to cover uni costs (fees and accommodation etc and a deposit on a property).

Aside from that it would be totally unreasonable to buy the car present it as a present for her and then ask for the money from the trust fund.