Should we buy the car or give her the money?

[sunshinehunter9]

So my dd turns 18 next month, her driving test is 2 days before her birthday. She has a trust fund with 2 grand that was set aside in the hope she buys a car with it, but only she can access it. I know she absolutely loves a certain car in a certain colour and magically one is for sale near us asking for 1500.
I think we should buy the car then take the 1500 back once she empties her trust fund. Leaving her with 500 cash plus all the gifts we have already bought her. My DH thinks we should just give her the full fund and it's up to her how much she spends on the car.
Who is being unreasonable?

YABU - give her the full amount
Or
YANBU - use the money for the car and give her the 500

Also for note my DD really wants a car however she loves Temu and shopping and I doubt the money will go to a car in the long run and it was saved for that purpose.

Ah good point.

I would tell her you are advancing her £1500 if she wants to buy the car, which she can pay back when she turns 18 and accesses her money.

Won’t she need the £500 for car costs like insurance?

This wouldn't be a present no matter how you frame it, it's her money with very little left over for her to spend as she pleases. Such a shame there's no way of actually buying it for her and her still having savings.

Also it's likely that a car at that price will have things go wrong with it so who pays for repairs, MOTS and servicing and road tax?

If it’s a trust fund in her name then it is her money to do with whatever she chooses- you can’t spend £1500 then ask her for it. It would also be disingenuous to buy it, wrap it as a gift and THEN ask her for the money.

You may as well just gift her the car and say its on us, then let her use the 2 grand for future insurance and cost.

I don’t get why you’d pop a bow on it as a surprise if she’s paying for it anyway? It’s not a gift?

Why does she need a car? Are you aware of the financial aspects of a car on an 18 year old?

A £1500 car is likely to need expensive repair work.

What if she doesn't pass her test OP? It could be months before she can get another test appointment. As some pp have said, some Uni halls don't allow cars for 1st year students (mine didn't but DD's did). Did you get the insurance quotes based on the car being at Uni? It does make quite a difference we found.

What sort of car can you get for £1500. Is it road worthy?

Unless you speak to her prior it is not for you to spend her money. It's hers!!

Putting a bow on something that she is paying for? I think you've lost the plot

Another one who thinks it’s really odd that you want to present this as a gift when it’s not at all

Whilst that's all nice and grand it's not really a gift if she has to reimburse you when she gets access to the money so this isn't about you but her.

The whole point is the car she wants is available now so either you buy it for her as a gift with no expectations of being reimbursed, or ask her if she wants it so you can pay now and she agrees to give you back the money once she gets access or she can decide to wait and find one herself when she gets the money.

Does she have any money in her government trust fund also ?

But it’s not a gift!
she would be paying for it with her money.
ask her ??

No you cant buy it put a bow on it surprise her then say you owe us 1.5k! If you want to do that you buy it.

Did she know about the trust fund?

Does she have need for a car whilst at uni? Is she planning to use it there or keep it at yours for when she’s home? If at uni, is it possible to park it without needing an expensive permit? Will it be better to keep the money for a car for after uni, and let the money keep increasing until then

Yes, you should absolutely avoid her wasting away the money on stupid temu purchases (although of course it’s her money to do as she pleases, but that would be extremely ridiculous and wasteful on her part!). But you absolutely cannot just spend her money for her, buy a car, present it as a gift with a bow on, then ask her to reimburse you. If she needs a car now you can discuss with her if she would like that car and would like you to advance her the money until she can repay it when she can access the trust fund. She needs to be involved in this decision.

So you've got a plan to "give" her a gift with her own money, that will cost her thousands per year while at uni. During which she might rately use it and would have been significantly better off with a rucksack/ wheelie bag and the train. Because you get a delighted look before she realises it wasn't a gift.

Yeah, no honey. But your own daughter a gift with your own money.

Talk to her like the young adult she is. Ask if she’d like you to front her the money to buy the car. Make sure you also discuss plans to pay for maintenance and insurance after the first year. Let her make the decision. Alternatively buy it for her as a proper gift and surprise her but that has to be with no strings attached or expectation she pays you back. But you cannot spend her money for her. And it would be shockingly cruel to tie it up with a bow pretending it’s a gift then later drop the bombshell you want reimbursing.

Okay to clear a few things up...who's money do you think is in it?
Mine.
I paid all of that into an account, I'm the main account holder and she's named on it. So when pp say buy a present with your own money, that IS our money, being gifted to her. We just wasn't sure if we should buy a car or give her the whole amount. She doesn't know this account exists. Plus as stated we've already bought her gifts as well.
In regards to uni she is still living at home, uni is 30 mins away either by bus or driving and the uni has ample parking spaces, however her friends are in different towns and she would like the freedom of a car.
Thanks for everyones views, my DH and I are still in discussions.

She will also get her trust fund from government? If its a good car and she doesn't know about the money then buy it.

@deckchairmayhem why does anyone need a car?

I like my car to get me to work on the other side of town I like my car to transport my toddler around I like my car to take us to dancing each week. I like my car to take me on the motorway or wherever I may need to go.

what sort of question is why does she need a car? the clue is in itself she has her driving test 2 days before her birthday and is at uni away from home and will be for 3 years

A trust fund that only she can access is HER money. Also if you had already said the account was a surprise then I think several of us missed that.

No I said as already stated we've bought her gifts as well. A pp assumed a bow and petrol would be her only present.

Yes she'll also get her government trust fund too.

Could you not gift her the car, and let her pay for the 1st years insurance? I’d imagine it will be roughly the same value at that age.

I'm not sure what you buying other gifts has to do with it.

The issue is if you buy the car you then need to have a conversation with her after you present her with the car to let her know that she owes you money and has to reimburse you since she is the only one who can access the funds. So it's cleaner and more transparent to just have the conversation before purchase and be on the same page.

The issue isn't that people think the car is her only gift it's that you're buying the "gift" with her money without telling her then expecting her to pay you back. And it is her money even if you put it here, the intention was that it was for her.

I get you want to surprise her and all that but as I said it's more transparent to have the discussion before buying the car since you expect her to give you the money back once she gets access to the funds.