To get my 6-year-old a pet?

[LaughingWillowTree]

DD really, really wants a pet of her own. We have two elderly cats already, but DD says she would love an axolotl, a terrapin, a snake or a fish.

I think DD is just about responsible enough to look after an animal (and I would supervise everything carefully anyway). We’re thinking that part of the deal/decision making process would be for her to take sole care of the cats for a month - food, water, litter trays - to see if she is committed and responsible enough. If she passes this test, we’ll agree on a pet and it will be her birthday present. We will research how to properly care for whichever animal we agree on.

I have reservations though. Is six too young? And should we steer her towards a goldfish, since they are likely to be easiest to care for? I’d like to develop her sense of responsibility but at the same time, fish aren’t the most rewarding of pets for children. Maybe we should wait for a couple of years?

There’s not a chance she will look after it every single day.

that’s not to say don’t get her something but I think be realistic that you’ll end up looking after it most if not all of the time. It will still be a lesson in responsibility.

I wouldn’t bother with a goldfish tho….too low a return

I’d go with a kitten if you think your older cats will tolerate. You’re a house of experienced cat owners, they don’t require loads of maintenance (which let’s face it a 6YO isn’t going to do) especially if they toilet outdoors when older and actually like being petted and handled by children so long as they’re reasonably sensible. Fish doesn’t seem fair in a house with cats and they are rubbish pets that do still require a fair amount of work with cleaning the tank. The other pets you mention seem possibly quite high maintenance so would require a lot of research, and obviously commitment from you as she’s only 6 and isn’t going to care for it herself no matter what she says.

Fish are more difficult to look after then you think, they aren't just drop them in a tank and feed them once a day pets.

Cleaning a fish tank is a labour intensive and messy task and you need to monitor your water quality and PH levels etc. to keep the fish healthy. Axolotls are even harder work and more delicate. I had both as a teenager and luckily my grandad was a fish enthusiast so knew how to do all that stuff and enjoyed doing it, even as a teenager I didn't understand how much work it would be until we got them and grandad did most of it anyway and they live a long time. The set up is also really expensive.

I wouldn't even consider it for a six year old unless you want to become fish hobbyists yourselves.

An axolotl would be a terrible pet for a child. You cant handle it, its not interactive and its quite challenging to look after in terms of getting its environment right.

Get something like a guinea pig - much better pet.

Won't she get bored and it'll be you looking after it?

Goldfish are NOT easy pets, especially not for children. They need quite a lot of space to accommodate their full adult size, they're sociable so you'd need at least 2 (which then increases the tank size you need), and they are poop machines so you'll need to do frequent, large water changes. Even if you put them in a "big enough for now" tank and plan to upgrade as they grow, goldfish can live to 20+ years, so it's a long term commitment. https://injaf.org/aquarium-fish/the-goldfish-section/what-size-tank-for-goldfish/

At age 6 I was absolutely not responsible enough to do every aspect of pet care every day, my parents were the main carers of "my" hamster. I would not expect your 6yo to stick with the daily care of one of the more exotic pets she wants, they are much more specialised than anything like a cat. So if you wanted to teach your DD about pet care, make sure you know what you're getting yourself into because you'll be doing most of it.

At her age the novelty will soon wear off. Only get a pet if you are prepared to care for it yourself when dd loses interest.

Good heavens! She’s SIX! Of course she’s not going to be able to look after a pair of elderly cats for a month.

Isn't 6 a bit young to be doing a full litter tray change?

If you did go for a kitten, a pair from a rescue is always better than one & would be less annoying for your elderly cats because they’d play with each other. You’ll know yourselves that cats make their own decisions on who their favourite humans are though.

In fairness my DD has been feeding and brushing our cats since she was about 6. She doesn’t do the litter tray as there’s no way a child should be doing that for hygiene reasons but we have a litter robot and also one cat sometimes toilets outdoors so it’s not a daily task anyway. So I reckon DD does actually do 80% of the cat care! They’re actually good pets for kids because their care is relatively low maintenance and they’re usually pretty sociable.

Not a chance. A 6 year old cannot possibly care for an animal full time for the duration of its life. You also can't expect them to clear out a litter tray. If you get a pet while your kids are that age then you need to care for it.

Any animal you buy will become yours.

Do not get an axolotl if you don’t already know how to keep fish. They need their water keeping cool, which means buying a chiller unit that’s over £100 right there without the tank and filter and food.

Goldfish again terrible idea unless your going to end up with a massive tank because they grow big those little ones are either babies or stunted.

A snake no again someone’s got to handle it and the second it bites your child’s likely going to nope out of touching it again.

A terrapin again more work than you’d think.

From the list it sounds like the child wants what they consider an easy pet in a tank.

At most I’d get another cat that’s theirs but would really be yours.

Certainly not a guinea pig, they need to live in groups and would be constantly petrified from the cats. Also noisy.

I don't think a 6 year old could or should have sole responsibility for an animal. Of course she can help, but litter boxes and elderly pet care is tricky. What if one of the cats doesn't make it through the month through no fault of her own? That would be devastating and really unfair to put on her.

We just got our first family pet and our kids were 8 and 12 - we got a bearded dragon and it has been lovely. Still a lot of work (mostly for my husband as it turns out I'm allergic to the food) but the kids are happy and the bearded dragon is quite chilled out. But it's absolutely a family pet and not their sole responsibility. They help sometimes of course.

If anything I'd get another cat as many animals don't mix easily with cats and you'd feel terrible if she left the wrong door open or left the cage a bit open or similar. Anything with a tank is a big task to keep clean (bearded dragons don't need to be cleaned out as often as fish but it's a massive palaver each time).

And agree with everyone - this won't be her responsibility for long so make sure you're ready to deal with this - financially and logistically. There's no world where your 6 year old will deal with the costs or the vet visits or the unexpected messes - my very responsible 12 year old forgets to feed our lizard regularly (which is fine as we check every day, but less fine for many animals!).

None of your suggestions are great. We used to have fish and they are not easy to look after, water changing is something you have to be careful about otherwise they can die suddenly if the levels aren't right, and they still sometimes die very suddenly even when you're doing everything right.
I would have thought something your dd can cuddle and interact with would be best. Minimal difficulty is also best, that's why we have cats. We've had indoor guinea pigs before, but the cats will want to get them if they can.
Children have good intentions about looking after pets, but usually don't keep it up. Whatever you get, it will be your responsibility still. My children wanted a dog but I refused as we couldn't offer the best life for it, and we got kittens instead.

Fish are not easy. My daughter got 2 earlier in the year and to be honest it was a disaster. Both of them died within a few months despite her best efforts and she was absolutely heartbroken each time.

Absolutely not! Any pet deserves a responsible human to look after them, not a child who can't even look after themselves and see pets as toys, which pets are definitely not. She's got two cats, she is alteady very lucky.

I get very fed up with parents who get pets as toys for their kids and then deem the pet a pain when it is more work than entertainment for their child. Pets deserve better. It's selfish and irresponsible.

Don't get a Guinea pig as suggested above. They need far more care and attention - and space - than many people are prepared to give. There must be so many miserable guineas just surviving.

Six is too young to understand the responsibility of any pet so you must be fully prepared to look after it properly, especially after the novelty wears off.

Any pet you acquire will be a "family pet" and you are the one who is in the end responsible for it. You can try to allocate the 6yo chores to do that involve caring for the pet, but if they don't do them or do them poorly, what is the end result? Will you sit back and let the animal suffer or die, or will you step in do the jobs yourself or get rid of the pet? The pet is yours. Franky until your child is an adult, the responsibility for any pets in the house sit with the parents!

I think any rescue / responsible breeder would hear the words ‘6 year old’s birthday present’ and close their doors. Much more realistic to think of it as a family pet, as PPs say.

Sounds like the consensus is that six is too young; I think we’ll say no, not yet, and give it a couple of years.

Maybe she’ll be happy with a Tamagotchi

(Oh and I thought it would go without saying that I would be ultimately responsible for any pet, no matter what the age of the child!)

6 isn't too young for a pet but it is far too you to expect her to have full and sole responsibility for any pet. Whether she can look after your cats on her own for a month is a pretty poor yardstick.

Get her some sea monkeys to start with. Picture below

Sea monkeys

A pet snail. I’ve heard they are relatively easy to look after. Gross to me personally mind.