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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get my 6-year-old a pet?

78 replies

LaughingWillowTree · 01/09/2025 10:55

DD really, really wants a pet of her own. We have two elderly cats already, but DD says she would love an axolotl, a terrapin, a snake or a fish.

I think DD is just about responsible enough to look after an animal (and I would supervise everything carefully anyway). We’re thinking that part of the deal/decision making process would be for her to take sole care of the cats for a month - food, water, litter trays - to see if she is committed and responsible enough. If she passes this test, we’ll agree on a pet and it will be her birthday present. We will research how to properly care for whichever animal we agree on.

I have reservations though. Is six too young? And should we steer her towards a goldfish, since they are likely to be easiest to care for? I’d like to develop her sense of responsibility but at the same time, fish aren’t the most rewarding of pets for children. Maybe we should wait for a couple of years?

OP posts:
atamlin · 01/09/2025 15:15

Don’t get her an axolotl, they are very hard to care for, expensive to keep and need a specialist vet.

From personal experience, I got my daughter two rabbits. I was an idiot. She begged me for them and I gave in. They’ve just both passed away but we had them for five years. I did everything.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/09/2025 15:23

An African land snail or stick insect?

Scarlettpixie · 01/09/2025 15:24

A 6 yo should not be expected to care for a pet although they can of course help. I am not sure being 8 or 10 will be any different, they will get bored and you will need to step in.

6 is a great age for them to be involved but ultimately it’s on you. We had elderly cats too when DS was around that age and got some rats which he was able to handle and help with.

There is no way you should be asking a 6 yo to clean cat litter trays ffs!

marshmallowfinder · 02/09/2025 14:09

Roosnoodles · 01/09/2025 15:15

My snake is eighteen years old, a terrapin lives for 30. Hampsters can live 15 years, my oldest cat is twenty. Where will she be at those ages. Is she really going to not go to uni to look after a snake that you don’t want and she’s not allowed to take with her? Or is this just another animal doomed for rescue?. Get yourself a pet and call it hers. It’s what will end up happening anyway if you’re a good person. No one would think it’s okay to trust the complete needs of an animal to a child. Even teens can be irresponsible sometimes.

A hamster certainly cannot live to 15 years old. I've no idea where you got that from. If it gets to 3 years old, it's doing very well indeed.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 02/09/2025 14:21

Roosnoodles · 01/09/2025 15:15

My snake is eighteen years old, a terrapin lives for 30. Hampsters can live 15 years, my oldest cat is twenty. Where will she be at those ages. Is she really going to not go to uni to look after a snake that you don’t want and she’s not allowed to take with her? Or is this just another animal doomed for rescue?. Get yourself a pet and call it hers. It’s what will end up happening anyway if you’re a good person. No one would think it’s okay to trust the complete needs of an animal to a child. Even teens can be irresponsible sometimes.

Err, hamsters most definitely don't live for 15 years, lol. Three is the average.

Didimum · 02/09/2025 14:40

Just got a kitten for my 7yr old. They are very able to care for it (with supervision). Do they remember? No. Does the novelty of playing with it wear off? Yes.

Do I still love the kitten ... yes.

I would (personally) not do anything like a fish, terrapin, axolotl, snake, guinea pig or rabbit or hamster – I think they are all rubbish pets all in all.

scissy · 02/09/2025 16:06

As someone with 2 types of lizards, I would not get a reptile for any child under the age of 12. Even then I'd expect to be looking after it in some ways (most require UV etc, so I'd expect to have some input or check the child/ teen is looking after them correctly).

Reptiles CAN make good pets for people who are allergic to fur. But they are not easy or cheap pets to keep. Most live long lives if kept correctly. Sadly some people don't give them appropriate light or vitamins and they die a slow and painful death due to vitamin deficiency.

Richtea67 · 02/09/2025 16:16

Digidestined · 01/09/2025 11:05

Fish are more difficult to look after then you think, they aren't just drop them in a tank and feed them once a day pets.

Cleaning a fish tank is a labour intensive and messy task and you need to monitor your water quality and PH levels etc. to keep the fish healthy. Axolotls are even harder work and more delicate. I had both as a teenager and luckily my grandad was a fish enthusiast so knew how to do all that stuff and enjoyed doing it, even as a teenager I didn't understand how much work it would be until we got them and grandad did most of it anyway and they live a long time. The set up is also really expensive.

I wouldn't even consider it for a six year old unless you want to become fish hobbyists yourselves.

This...the maintenance of fish is huge. Also a goldfish needs a tank mate, and they need an absolutely massive tank really....we have 2 fancy goldfish in a 100L tank and they have outgrown this and we are upgrading to 200L. Consider the space needed for this! Saying this I do enjoy having them, but there isn't much interaction!

Bimblebombles · 02/09/2025 16:23

My 6 year old does enjoy our cat; we've had her since DD was 4 and she wasn't fussed by her at first but now she really does look forward to seeing the cat in the mornings and goes and looks for it during the day.

She is keen to help with feeding it quite a lot of the time (probably once a day) but sometimes she will say no as she is too busy playing, or she's too tired, or she just straight up doesn't want to. And whilst I do encourage that we have to feed the cat whatever we feel like it, I also think that at the end of the day its not a 6 year olds responsibility to feed the cat when she's had a tiring day at school and I am not going to force it, so I do most of the feeds. I also have to supervise the feeds she does do because she struggles with opening the pouches herself, and she can't do all the washing up of bowls herself.

If the cat yaks on the carpet its me who cleans that up, or when it needs its flea treatment, or when it needs brushing.

I think cats make a great pet but whatever you decide, the pet is your's, not your child's. I think its great to model to your 6 year old how to look after a pet well and that will stand them in good stead for later life, but they can't handle the whole responsibility no way.

Roosnoodles · 02/09/2025 16:58

marshmallowfinder · 02/09/2025 14:09

A hamster certainly cannot live to 15 years old. I've no idea where you got that from. If it gets to 3 years old, it's doing very well indeed.

Sorry I meant rabbit. I don’t know why I said hamster. What a weird part of what I wrote to pick up on though. I think the gist of what I was saying was a little more important than the fact that I got one of the animals wrong. Obviously you don’t rescue or I think you would understand the importance in what I was saying.

BlueSkyBurningBright · 02/09/2025 18:22

We bought our DS a snake when he was 6. I did all the care and feeding. It was a fairly low maintenance pet. DS did handle her and for a snake she was quite sweet.
She did live to 19, by then DS had left home and I was left with the snake. Can’t say I was sorry when she became unwell and we had to have her put to sleep. They are a long term commitment.

MyTommyGunDont · 02/09/2025 18:28

KarmenPQZ · 01/09/2025 14:47

There was a lovely sounding rabbit on another thread that needs a new home 🤪

I’d normally say a rabbit is a terrible pet for a child, but actually it’s better than being PTS as the other thread proposed so maybe there’s something in this 😂

MumoftwoNC · 02/09/2025 18:32

One of the main joys of childhood is having no responsibilities.

She's a girl; as a woman she may end up being a mother and having children to look after; when you're old she may have to care for you; she's might have her whole adulthood taken over with caring responsibilities!

Let her be a child for these few precious years of not having to look after anyone.

MumoftwoNC · 02/09/2025 18:35

I’d like to develop her sense of responsibility

You can do that by getting her to pack her schoolbag or something.

Not by giving her responsibility over a living thing. As I say, she might have her whole adulthood having to look after her children/you etc.

Vynalbob · 02/09/2025 18:51

It will obviously be you that will be looking after a pet, I'd say 8 is probably the youngest I'd consider.....if pushed, considering you have 2 old cats I'd probably get a rescue giant lop eared rabbit.

MumoftwoNC · 02/09/2025 18:57

Even if it's you mostly looking after it, she still will feel the worry when the pet is ill, that horrible jolt when she's realised she's forgotten to feed it, that (misplaced) guilt when it inevitably dies, etc etc.

Let her be a child!

I had a family member who had her kids young. Then her daughter got cancer and she cared for her. Then her husband got a disability and she became his full time carer, then he died. Then she helped look after her grandchildren. She spent her whole adult life caring and having to worry about someone.

And that's by no means atypical for the life of a woman.

So, don't make it start age 6

Talkinrubbishagain · 02/09/2025 19:05

A friend got her 5 year old 2 kittens. When the cats were older,the little girl had hysterics when they bought her gifts of half dead chewed birds,mice and slow worms! The neighbour complained about the cats crapping in his garden.

Maybe a couple of rabbits/ Guinea pigs would be better.

pollymere · 02/09/2025 19:54

Get a pair of orandas. Very easy to look after and fine if you forget to feed them.

BeAzureRaven · 02/09/2025 20:21

Get her one if YOU will take the ultimate responsibility for it. Six is doable, but still very young. I'd get a rat to see how she does with that. (alsohow elderly are your cats? The rat would need separate quarters) Rats are personable, clean, lovable and entertaining. Alsothey only live about 2-3 years, so not a long time commitment. We had a couple of them and I played with them more than the kids. Pegleg and Snugglebump--may they RIP.

BeAzureRaven · 02/09/2025 20:24

Get her one if YOU will take the ultimate responsibility for it. Six is doable, but still very young. I'd get a rat to see how she does with that. Rats are clean, personable, lovable and entertaining. They only live about 2-3 years, so not a long time commitment. We had a couple of them and I played with them more than the kids. Pegleg and Snugglebump--may they RIP. You'd need separate quarters away from the cats, obvi.

BeAzureRaven · 02/09/2025 20:32

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 01/09/2025 15:07

Hadn't RTFT. Guinea pigs are gorgeous, much less bitey than hamsters, but you have to have two as a PP has said. So you're in an infinite guinea pig chain because if one dies the other needs a new companion.

You also need about 12 square feet of cage for them, so that's a big space investment. We have ours indoors, many have them outside but I think ours are tamer and more invested in us for being nearer. Feeding them requires thought and attention, you have to clip their claws, check their ears and eyes, they need a bath once a week, clearing them out is a fairly labour intensive task. I absolutely adore ours but it's too much for a 6 year old to do on her own.

"infinite pig chain" haha. Been there, done that. They are awfully cute with their little squeaks....

XenoBitch · 02/09/2025 20:38

Stick insects. They eat privet which is readily available. Super low maintenance. Just keep an eye out for eggs as you could end up with an infestation.

ColdWaterDipper · 02/09/2025 21:25

I’m going to buck the trend and say that yes a 6 year old absolutely can be responsible enough to look after a pet completely, especially the sorts you have suggested which realistically are relatively low maintenance! I got my first pony aged 6 and I looked after it totally by myself, doing all care morning and evening and riding after school every single day. My parents weren’t particularly horsey and so the responsibility was all mine. I have had horses all my life since. My boys were 4 and 6 when we bought them their first pony, and we share the looking after as I have my own horses too, so the boys look after theirs and I do mine or one of us will go and sort out all the horses. They also keep a flock of chickens and have done all care for them since they were tiny.

A lot of children these days aren’t given a chance to demonstrate how capable and responsible they can be. I would say from your list, a cold water fish is the easiest but also the least rewarding (we have them and they are pretty but dull). I would suggest a kitten or a snake / lizard that she can interact with (so not a gecko / chameleon etc that stays in the tank, get a bearded dragon or a corn snake that will need and enjoy regular handling to become very tame). I also wouldn’t recommend a terrapin - they are smelly and the species sold as pets are prone to aggression. Instead maybe a tortoise - they are gentle, calm but also interesting and you can have a break from them whilst they hibernate! Kitten is an obvious choice as you already have cats, but only if you think the existing cats will tolerate it.

DiamanteTissueBox · 03/09/2025 12:04

pollymere · 02/09/2025 19:54

Get a pair of orandas. Very easy to look after and fine if you forget to feed them.

Absolutely do not get a pair of orandas... They are fancy goldfish and as myself and multiple other PPs have already mentioned, they are long lived, regular tank maintenance can be tricky, and they need a lot more space than people think. What terrible advice to say it's "fine" to forget to feed living creatures...

RentalWoesNotFun · 03/09/2025 12:17

I’d get her horse riding lessons. A new animal to love. No we can’t possibly but one but you can go once a week/month or whatever. She will love it. My parents used to drop me off for an hour lesson and pick me up six hours later. It was great. I made new friends and loved the ponies. Learned lots. Helped out. Free rides in return.

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