To think to audition was a waste of time?

[Travelfairy]

DD loves all things drama, attends 3 different stage schools/drama groups as well as doing ballet seperately. Went for an audition for Christmas panto last week, as we waited a mum in the queue told me how she had been involved with this panto for 28 years and that 'everyone there knows' her DD.
My DD did a brilliant audition, she didnt get the part. This other little girl did. I'm not saying she's not talented but aibu to think that this was probably decided before they even went in to audition? Just seems like a massive waste of time and that as with most other things its more about who you know! DD will be very disappointed in the morning, email just came through.

If this was a starring role could she go for more junior roles to start with, to get known, and work her way up? Is she being a bit ambitious in the roles she is auditioning for? Are there any other roles in the pantomime that she could ask about, 'disappointed I didn't get x role, do you have any other parts for me?'.

Also, remember this is harder on you watching her - she may feel differently! Disappointed, but not down trodden.

I think being known is relevant, but not in the way you think. My DS is a musician and is often invited to perform over others. He's not the best, but he's shown over time that he's reliable and that's what they go for.

It’s common knowledge that this happens everywhere now - ‘nepo babies’. It’s been the same in every profession and walk of life. The idea of meritocracy and giving talent a chance has gone, we are firmly back in imperial times, and the Overton window has shifted so far that there will be people who believe that it’s a good thing.

Sign of the collapse of our world.

I’m surprised you’re surprised tbh. If Hollywood still thrives on connections and nepotism then of course favouritism happens at the local ground level also. You just have to look at people like Blake Lively an utterly mediocre actress and yet has had amazing opportunities and as a young woman even admitted her parents paid for her to get some of her earliest singing/choir roles as she admitted she can’t sing or dance but she ‘wanted it’!

She may have done a wonderful audition but still not have had the exact 'look' they had in mind for the role. Or maybe they just wanted someone they knew from experience was reliable, a quick learner, etc.

Perhaps your dd really is wonderful but if you transmit to her the attitude that she is better than everyone else and ought to get every part she auditions for, and if she doesn’t it’s due to unfairness or favouritism, you won’t be doing her any favours. She’s going to have to learn to cope with rejection, like everyone else in the world of performing arts.

Also helps that BL was allegedly HWs main squeeze for years....

That is part of life and especially so in the drama field.

If your daughter hopes to eventually work in the entertainment industry she will have to get used to endless rejections and often personal insults about her voice, her appearance, her manner. With a few exceptions, most who achieve success take off in their early thirties after years of hard slog, doing walk on and one line parts, banal game shows the like, as well as waiting tables and doing dishes on the side to earn a crust. It's a tough business and not for the faint hearted.

Panto is gruelling. Yes they are looking for talent, but also need to be sure the kids can cope with 30+ shows plus school at a very busy time of year. It’s also a huge commitment for parents.

My kid did panto for a few years running and their work ethic / personality was as much the reason that they kept getting recast as their talent - a ‘known quantity’ if you like.

Also, they are usually casting multiple teams of kids who will share costumes and roles. So might need 3-4 kids of a similar size and casting type for each child role. We’ve definitely lost out on roles due to not being a suitable counterpart to kids in other teams.

If you really think your child was likely to get the part on what was only her third audition you and your dd really need to manage your expectations!

At this age it probably is true that directors are less looking at the absolute most talented but for someone that can a)do the job b) will show up. Your dd is an unknown factor - perhaps she was slightly better than the other girl but the director doesn't know her from Adam - from their pov she could get stage fright last minute, keep forgetting her lines, be a right diva, you (her parents) could be disorganised/demanding...all risks that could ruin their panto and not worth taking for a slightly better person when they have someone they know will turn up and get the job done to a good enough standard. Particularly with panto, its not like they need oscar-level subtle acting or opera singing, is it? * *

Yes, interestingly she had a very muted response to the allegations against Mr HW when they were made public also.

Hopefully OPs daughter has extremely thick skin especially as some amazing actors don’t even get started until their late 40s or so but fur a woman unfortunately she generally needs to have broken through by early 20s minimum to capitalise on her youth since older female roles are still far and few.

It's excellent practise, though. So definitely worth doing, for the chance to practise doing auditions, handling performing under pressure, being rejected, even. All of those things are good to learn, especially if she wants to work in that area.

Any Am Dram group I've ever been involved in, you need to earn your stripes in the chorus/background before anyone will consider you for a main part.

Thats how it works. If your daughter really wants it, she'll need to suck that up and get herself a thicker skin.

Drama is not a meritocracy. There are so many different reasons why people get cast. _ they might be the right type for the part, people might like their personality and feel that they will make a great team member etc. The decisions this group made does not reflect what will happen to your daughter in the real world. In the real world luck plays a huge part too (being in the right place at the right time). She has to be a professional, grieve a bit then prepare for the next audition. She could start auditioning for professional jobs too but that is a lot of hard work (for you too as you will have to chaperone her).

Also, I assume that if it is panto there would have been more than one part to slot her into so the other little girl probably did not get the part at the expense of your daughter.

A lot of the time, the main parts go to people who they know are going to show up and not get stage fright and bail on the night.

They don’t know your DD yet and although her audition may have been good, they have no idea how she’ll perform on the nights or whether she’ll drop out half way through.

Tell your DD to play her part well to show them what she can do and then to try again for a bigger part next year.

Not necessarily. Nepotism, who you know etc. or as has been said she may not have been as good a fit for the part. I haven’t got to nearly 80 and not realised that talent isn’t the only criteria for success.

I hope OPs daughter isn’t too disheartened, her opportunity will come.

licensed chaperoning is another factor here - it’s a hassle to organise the chaperoning so if some parents already have this then that can help the production team

the auditions were probably genuine but be realistic - if your kid is white, with long brown hair then they aren’t very unusual so will not stand out so much.

if it helps my dd didn’t get into the local panto but two months later got into a west end show - sometimes you aren’t right for the role but are a better fit elsewhere!

Auditions are only the start though aren’t they?

Casting directors/ producers need to be sure that the chosen auditionee:

will turn up to every rehearsal ie doesn’t have other commitments

will put in the effort to learn lines/ routines on time

will get on well with other cast members

will work co operatively with all staff/ cast/crew

wont be stricken with stage fright at the last minute

None of which you can tell from a five minute audition, which is why many will go for the people they know and trust to be reliable, rather than put their faith in the hands of someone they have only met for a few minutes and have watched doing something they have practised and practised. Makes it hard for the new people trying to break into the group but there is a lot at stake, especially for am dram groups where people are putting in hours of their time for free.

Isn’t this just a life lesson. How many times do we, as adults, go to interviews only to find the job has been created for someone else or that they had someone else in mind all along but had to do interviews?

I think suggesting anyone had full agency relating to HW is pretty gross, actually. We know he was a predator.

That’s harsh.

Wow. Aren’t you just lovely.

And untrue. She probably was good enough. The girl who got the part might not have been “better” just more suitable for the role in their eyes. Op, make sure your daughter remains grounded and does not become bitter like this harsh commenter.

If her mum's been involved in that sort of thing for 28 years, the chances are the girl was very experienced.

So perhaps the best child won.

You'll never know so there's no point in being bitter about it.

I don't know what's wrong with some people on this thread! How can you say the OP's dd needs a thicker skin when she doesn't even know she didn't get the part yet? How can anyone know the other girl was genuinely better? Aren't kids allowed to be disappointed? Fuck me.

OP I would encourage her to see every audition as a useful experience in itself. Don't build any of them up as a 'big thing'. Doesn't matter if she doesn't get the role because the more experience she gets of auditions the better. No doubt the other kid was always going to get the role and that's just how things go. It's crap and unfair but there's not much you can do. You often find the same when you go for a job and there's an internal applicant.

It is though a fantastic way to build resilience if you can keep her positive and have her see it as just one of those things and that people might do hundreds of auditions or applications for jobs before they get one.