Ick after 10 days.

[Mistyglade]

Met someone after over 3 years of celibacy and allowed myself to be a tiny bit excited after the reawakening, if you will. Unfortunately tonight the fun and nether regions flutters have instantly turned to mega ick in one text: “Will have to do some videoing, nothing like home movies” with obligatory rude emojis in response to chatting about our day and my mention of a new phone.

Why are men like this now? We’re both well over 45. I replied curtly saying I’d have to politely decline as it’s not my vibe and instead of apologising he responded with “you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with” as though it’s a formula he follows in some weird interview type way with another load of daft emoji’s.

Am I a prude? What happened to casual dates and being wined and dined at the start of things?

I feel as though he must do this regularly he thought I was the type to engage. I feel cheap and insulted. Ffs.

The same as with dick pics. It turns THEM on and they literally cannot imagine that a woman's mind might work differently. They think that all woman are panting for sex (they just cannot comprehend a woman doing without sex for any length of time) and will respond to pictures of their sad organs with reciprocal fanny pics. It's all about THEM and their sad little wants.

I don't hate men generally, honestly. Just sometimes...

Your reaction is spot on. It doesn't make you a prude at all. Sack him off

At least you found out early OP.

'You don't have to do anything you don't want to ...'

Well, clearly a prince and a catch.

Brilliant you found your nope after only ten days. Imagine if it was ten years.

After 10 days no one will trust any one with those type of videos! If someone wants to do those videos that’s ok but they have to be done with trust which after 10 days won’t be there (unless someone is the kind to not care where they end up). You are obviously not comfortable with doing that and that is perfectly ok, he sounds a bit of a creep to suggest that so soon! Yanbu

Write back "No, I don't, and I'm no longer comfortable with you. Goodbye".

Then block him.

Jesus Christ what is wrong with men. I have made a video with my DH, we've been together for 28years ...tbh I was curious to know what I looked like, it was horrible and not done it since ...I'm not sure why he wants to have sex with me tbh 😂😂...but he does but the Steven Speilberg era is definitely off the cards 😂

I wouldn’t even respond.

Search 'voyeur porn' to see where your images could end up.

So gross. And they wonder why they're alone and lonely. Fuck off. mate.

Good God no. Absolutely correct approach OP

This would be a red flag for me. If he wants to see my body, he can see it in person where we can mutually enjoy being together…not while fapping away over a tiny screen. Why are men like this 🙄so weird! You’re right to feel the ick!

Bleuuugh.

YANBU
YABU for the ridiculous word "Ick" though !!

The fact that he thinks he's being a gentleman by saying that you don't have to anything you don't want to.

Yeah, we all know that. It's called consent.

Not being rapey isn't something to be proud of, it should be a given.

Massive red flag.

If do reply again I’ll say just this. The culture around porn is so out of hand, it’s like it’s an expectation nowadays it’s so degrading.

Which word would you prefer?

Bloody hell
in the bin he goes.
Just ghost. What a twat.

Yes, it’s a mystery, isn’t it! 😂

Onwards and upwards, OP. There are better men out there, and you know your worth.

Who on earth are the 3% who think this is a reasonable ask?

let me guess, they are of the “you miss 100% of the shots you haven’t attempted” crowd.

Grim. He won't stop pushing your boundaries. He'll say 'it's how couples have fun' next.

There are always a few absolute try-hards on any thread where men are clearly being gross sex pests 😂

They're not prudes like those other girls!

Nah. Better they remain outing themselves early doors.