To think BF is jealous of my friendships

[These]

I, 29, have been with my BF, also 29, for nearly 2 years (we don’t live together). I also have a few close friends I’ve known since school and whenever tell him about one of my meet ups with them, he just has to make an unfunny joke about me being a secret lesbian. He also says negative things about my friends all the time like if I pick my a friend up he’ll call her a freeloader and warn me to be careful of her because she only cares about what she can take from me. However he’ll flip the switch if one of them comments something nice on my Facebook or Instagram and make her out to be a lesbian who secretly fancies me. This is a very common occurrence, him accusing me or my friends of being lesbians because we’re good friends and it’s getting boring.

This is a trick used by abusers to isolate you and make you doubt your own judgement.

Just saying.

It’s usually only the friendships though. He never says anything like that about my family.

He sounds unbelievably tedious, immature and dull. I’d bin him.

Also, stopping someone from going out/seeing friends or being critical of said friends is abusive and A Bad Thing.

The more control he starts to have over your life e.g. moving in or marrying, he will try to cut off your other connections. it's a red flag that he isn't supportive of you having other people in your life.

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See the comments from your bf for what they are!

For now maybe. But once he's managed to cut you off from your friends, he may move onto isolating you from your family.

@MySweetMaggie I get the impression it’s more because he doesn’t have any friends, he’s envious that I do, rather than him trying to isolate me.

or the i only want to spend all my time cos i love you so much

total bullshit

It may be just that. If you're moving forward with him though, keep the warnings on here in mind.

Exactly. The fact that he has no friends is an added red flag!

Has no friends.

Tries to stop you seeing yours.

Makes sad “jokes” about you being a lesbian.

What do you find attractive about this person?

He’s an arsehole

Red flags. Get rid.

Envy is a horrible emotion, and if it’s making him spiteful then that also is a bad sign. Why doesn’t he have any friends?

Whichever way you spin this I think it’s a red flag. I would urge you to be very cautious and to really watch his behaviour, his actions and how he speaks to you. It’s not behaviour you would see from a loving, generous partner.

You’re not making this sound any better.
He sounds, at best, ridiculously immature and tiresome, but more likely is a controller.
Red flags waving wildly.

You're reading this wrong I'm afraid. And if it were the case that he's just jealous - what a sad inadequate prick he would be to resent you having friends because he's too unpleasant to keep any! But it's not that - he's trying to isolate you. Please open your eyes and wise up.

Does he actively prevent you seeing them?
For him, is it ongoing banter? Ie, he considers it an ‘in’ joke?
Have you ever called him out on it?
Is he twelve?!

And you keep a jealous, insecure, friendless man in your life why???

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Tedious asshole. Red flag.

How unpleasant of him.

Say ‘it’s boring having you call it friend and I lesbians all the time if you do it again I’ll dump you’ and follow through please

I know it’s scary breaking up just before 30 if you want kids, but you really don’t want kids with someone like hi

He's literally showing you who he is and you aren't listening. You need to get out of this relationship before you end up trapped with an abusive arsehole.

Yes it’s designed to make you doubt or feel uncomfortable about your friendships. It may lead to you feeling like you don’t want to tell him when you are seeing your friends to avoid the shitty comments. But then he will accuse you of being sneaky and lying so then it will be easier to turn down your friends to avoid the grief. And then he has successfully isolated you from your friends.
why is he doing it from your friends and not family? Because he’s insecure and worried that when you are out with friends you might find a better offer.
its the starting level for abuse , it could get worse the more you commit to him (abuse often escalates after moving in, during pregnancy etc) or it could be a isolated issue, there’s no way to know. But the more committed you get the harder it is to get out.

Do you feel you can challenge him on this? Tell him to stop being shitty about your friends . See how he reacts if he’s contrite and apologetic and admits he needs to work on his insecurities and actually does so that’s great (assuming this is the only issue) but if he gets angry dismisses your feelings or tells you he’s not doing it and you are imagining it then you know you are with someone who dismisses your feelings/opinions and gaslights you or bullies/intimidates you.