To think BF is jealous of my friendships

[These]

I, 29, have been with my BF, also 29, for nearly 2 years (we don’t live together). I also have a few close friends I’ve known since school and whenever tell him about one of my meet ups with them, he just has to make an unfunny joke about me being a secret lesbian. He also says negative things about my friends all the time like if I pick my a friend up he’ll call her a freeloader and warn me to be careful of her because she only cares about what she can take from me. However he’ll flip the switch if one of them comments something nice on my Facebook or Instagram and make her out to be a lesbian who secretly fancies me. This is a very common occurrence, him accusing me or my friends of being lesbians because we’re good friends and it’s getting boring.

My husband was like this, the controlling over years got worse until i was isolated. Big red flag, please be careful and stay safe.

Oh god he’s awful, you are young, throw this one back.

This. Couldn’t have put it better.

I accidentally pressed YABU but you’re definitely not BU, sack this loser off and live your best life with your mates!

Whatever his reasons are for doing it, it’s clearly about his insecurities and jealous nature - if that’s how he chooses to deal with those things it doesn’t bode well for your relationship.

But if he’s jealous you have friends when he doesn’t then what happens if he does isolate you from your friends? You have no friends either just like him and he becomes all you have. That’s how it works.

What on earth are you tolerating this?
He sounds awful and no doubt is.
Why would you tolerate your friends being spoken about like that?

You have very poor self respect and boundaries.
Abusers love these traits inntheir victims.

Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Beware a man with no friends.

They will be next once he gets rid of your friends

Yes, he resents your friends and is jealous of them and so he tries to find ways to ridicule them or find fault. Be very wary, OP. This isn’t a nice trait and it can be an early sign of a controlling man. He should be pleased to see that you have great friends around you. Instead, he views them as competition for your attention.

Yet! 🚩

This!

Just this!

Sorry OP but as soon as I red your post I thought oh no, so many red flags. It's how it starts, soon it will be about your family and then the clothes you wear. Get out now while you still can.

This is how it starts OP, and the fact that you don't live together is the reason it hasn't escalated further. He is manipulating you! He can't tell you outright to stop seeing your friends (at this stage at least) but he wants to make it very awkward. Once he has separated you from your friends, he will start on your family. Controlling men don't like you having a support network who will tell you they are controlling and encourage you to leave. You're still young, you have so much time, but you're wasting it on someone that ultimately won't care about your happiness, needs or wants, and will lead you to a life of isolation and misery. Get out now while it's still easy to do so. I promise you, after a few months you'll realise just how controlling this is and you'll be glad.

He'll start on your family once he has succeeded in isolating you from your friends. Get out of this relationship and find someone who respects you and your choices.

Been there done that, first it was the family, then the friends, then the books, job, plants and pets etc. Anything that brought me joy. Run!!!!! He is just getting started.

No, it’s controlling abuse. He may also be jealous. It’s started already, before you even live together. It will ramp up and up until you’re completely enmeshed. You are already questioning yourself, when you must know he is being completely unreasonable. He won’t change ( other than briefly ) . He will get worse. Have a look online at the Freedom Programme.

He's an abusive, controlling prick. What on earth are you doing with this man? You seriously need to ditch him. Massive red flags.

Nope, he's not envious that you have friends and he doesn't. He's angry that you have formed close connections with anyone who isn't him.

He doesn't get like this about your family because your family aren't people you chose to form connections with. He thinks your world beyond your family should consist of him, and him only.

He's not a good man. At all.

I wouldn't want a family with a man that thought it was OK to shout lesbian in a derogatory manner.

He sounds about 12 and thick as mince. Run.

You're aware he's trying to control you. You decide to stay with him. Put him back in the bin.

He's showing you who he is,please believe him before it goes any further

My Dh spent last Saturday with my entire female friend group celebrating one of the groups 50th at out house. Probably not his ideal weekend activity but we both understand how important relationships outside of our own are and we support each other so there were no xomplaints abd he soent the days with them all celebrating.

If he's like this now how do you think he'll be acting once you move in/get married/have children