Since when?

[McSteamyorMcdreamy]

Posting here for traffic.

My DD starts year 7 next week. Local secondary. Nothing fancy.

She and we are respectful of uniform policy and have purchased everything we need to. She looks bloody smart and we (and she) can't wait for her to start.

As 11 year old girls will do, they have tried their whole set up in front of their friends and all of them said the same thing:

"You will get sent home with those shoes"

They throw detentions out for the most minor of uniform infractions and DD is now having a massive anxiety spiral that she's going to get a detention or worse sent home 1st day because of her shoes.

I spoke to a friend who works in the school office and showed her a picture and her response was "oooh, I'm not sure. Air Force 1s are the best way to go"

Since when have trainers been a smarter, more acceptable form of shoe than a patent loafer??!!!

For full disclosure she has chosen the Kickers Edie loafer as in the link

https://www.kickers.co.uk/adult-women-edie-loafer-patent-leather-black/14913640.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK+-+Kickers+-+Search+-+Brand+-+Core+-+Broad&utm_term=kickers&utm_content=brand+-+Kickers&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20162340688&gbraid=0AAAAADiNwZXHWpJ1LFmAfTE2drVjkEy8k&gclid=Cj0KCQjwwsrFBhD6ARIsAPnUFD1w_j6Ufhx1cfFv1a1fF0Ageht-fZYRGu_xo9ofOilAOdjE7KgGjEgaAoLrEALw_wcb

This school stipulates that hair past chin lemgth needs to be in a ponytail with a hair band that is the closest colour to the individuals hair colour, yet believes that a trainer is smarter/more acceptable than the loafer.

AIBU here?! I know trainers are more acceptable these days but are they really considered smarter considering how rigid they are on the smaller items?!

She could have still gone for a chunky loafer, but with a flatter heel?

Meant kindly, but I really think you need to do some research about the affect of heels on developing feet.

No sensible parent should be encouraging their 11yo DC to be wearing high heels like that for their everyday shoe. Well made trainers or school shoes would be much better.

If you don't consider them heels, that's even more telling. Those heels look huge to me!

Just because shops sell them as school shoes doesn't mean they're actually good for their feet.

Google says heels for children can:

"negatively impact the spine by altering posture, increasing pressure on the back, and potentially leading to back pain, poor gait, and other musculoskeletal issues. Proper-fitting, supportive school shoes are crucial for developing feet, as ill-fitting or high-heeled options can cause foot deformities and affect the alignment of the entire body, including the spine."

Our foot bones don't fuse properly until some point between 12 and 22 so at 11yo the foot is still developing and absolutely should not be in a heeled shoe day in and out, no matter how smart you think it looks.

I suspect the school doesn’t think they look “smarter” but they are more appropriate for a school setting. All children should have practical shoes that are comfortable, safe, reasonably water proof (to not get wet socks in the slightest drizzle), allow feet to grow properly, allow them to run around.

Platform soles and heels (even a chunky one) doesn’t meet those.

I think it is great a school is allowing trainer style shoes, shoes at this age should be practical above all else.

I was in high school in the 90s. I certainly recall these shoes - never on anyone at school and never on a child this young.

Really surprised these were ok for an 11 yr old at your school even in the 90s.

I thought this post was a clickbait joke. Who on Earth thinks a heel (however chunky and ‘smart’) is appropriate for a child that age, at school!?

This thread, and the indefatigable OP ... 😂I'm not sure what's made me snort the harder - the initial innocent posting of the link to UTTERLY UNSUITABLE SHOES for an 11 year old schoolchild; the OP's dogged doubling down in the face of her daughter's friends' conviction, her own friend's recommendation, and pretty much all the posts on here saying that chunky soled, heeled shoes will not be acceptable and are bad for kids; or the fact that these fugly nightmares from the late 90's are apparently back.

I used to lecture in heeled loafers in my first job in the early noughties because I'm 5'2" and wanted to be taller than at least a couple of my students 😂It didn't work and I used to trip over the soles and chunky heels as they sort of got caught on one another. I tripped over my own shoes, OP.

Honestly this is daft. I'm surprised but pleased if people in the know at the school think that Air Force 1s (had to look them up) are going to be acceptable, but plain black trainers with adequate arch support always struck me as a perfectly good school shoe.

I still think it’s a click bait joke. The obvious heels when she says the school have stated ‘no heels’, plus then refusing to accept that the school may prefer ‘practical’ over ‘smart’…

Don't understand how the OP keeps arguing that the school think trainers are smarter than humungous heeled 'loafers'. Did the school actually say this?

They no doubt (like everyone with common sense) think that trainers are a good deal SAFER than those chunky heeled things OP linked to. That'll be their motivation.

Why would you put your child in heels?!

no those are definitely not OK for school. Air force 1s are standard.

I was a girl in the 90s, they’d never in a million years have been allowed at any of the high schools near me.

I never understand the point of posts like the OP's original post. When you choose a school you have to accept it will have rules, and you need to follow those rules, including the ones you personally disagree with. People have told the OP the shoes are unsuitable and her DD may get sent home. Instead of bleating about DD's anxiety the solution is to buy a pair of shoes that comply with school rules. Or move to Sheffield where there is still a secondary school with no uniform.

I started secondary as a 12 year in 1990. Went to several schools, both in the UK and abroad. There were also students who 'interpreted' the uniform policy a bit loosely but I can't recall ever seeing anyone wearing shoes like that in school. They'd have been sent home and told to rethink their attire.

I wore shoes like the ones in the OP to secondary school in the 90s, because they were fashionable. I wish they hadn’t been allowed because they were totally impractical, and painful to walk around on all day.
Or I should have been less of a sheep and worn flats despite fashion!

🤣

I see you have finally accepted defeat 😂 I still can’t understand why you would want an 11 year old wearing those high heels to school. Far too young to wear heels like that. Your definition of “smart” is very old fashioned and also a little bit sexualised if you see nothing wrong in an 11 year old wearing high heels like that

But apologies to the OP for laughing at her. Having read ALL her posts, I do see that she took feedback onboard very quickly and more sane shoes have been ordered.

It's weird that you're so focused on how she looks. Trainers are far more comfortable and practical than loafers with heels for anyone, but especially an 11 year old child. She will feel so much better in trainers.

I’m honestly really surprised. Never in a million years would I have thought these weren’t appropriate school shoes. They’re not high, they’ve got a small heel. I think my secondary school had a shoe policy that was ‘smart’ shoes and it had a limit on how high the heel could be. So the shoes in the OP would have been acceptable. Obviously given that the OP has said their policy is no heels, I would definitely agree that these shoes do not meet that requirement and I wouldn’t have bought them. But without the requirement for the shoes to be flat, I think these are acceptable school shoes.

The clue you missed wasn’t “women’s”, it was “adult”.

Patent leather and a high heel for a child and you think they look smart ! They look cheap

trainers are practical

I was thinking this too, in what world are they not heels !
Whilst I agree with the OP in that I think it’s a shame that trainers are now seen as smart there must be other shoe options that aren’t trainers but don’t have that humongous heel !
Also, speaking as someone who was never allowed to have anything fashionable and was told not to follow the crowd, be different, bear in mind that teenagers want to be part of a crowd and to fit in. I always felt a bit different and slightly left out , I didn’t have the confidence to carry off “ different “

That’s just a media, day one newspaper photo. In Scotland few schools are really that bothered about uniform. They have a policy but not strictly adhered to. Private schools are strict but local high schools not as much. Out school is black uniform. They say no trainers yet everyone wears them. Girls are to be in knee length skirts, not adhered to. No hoodies but generally most boys wear them. Tie supposed to be visible, they aren’t, if worn at all. No visible logos yet most wear black and white converse, Nike hoodies etc. school bags are supposed to be black, that doesn’t happen. I’ve yet to hear of a child being sent home for any of the above, let alone hair styles, make up, leggings, football kit etc.

I am not saying all Scottish high schools are the same but the ones I know are. We live in a good, rural commuting town where the school does perform highly.

That's not a loafer, it's a heeled shoe and not remotely practical for school or for growing bodies.

If this is your first child at secondary school then you need to prepare yourself for many years of bats hit crazy rules, especially about uniforms, that make zero sense and have zero impact on actual learning, but are held in more esteem than actually being in school willing and ready to learn. My DS got put in isolation for having the wrong coloured socks on!!

But either way, those are high heeled shoes!

They’re not high, they’ve got a small heel
They have a huge heel! Not a stiletto one but in no way is that a small heel.
https://www.deichmann.com/en-gb/p/graceland-loafer-schwarz-90188 is a small heel.