Friend keeps correcting my grammar - irritating

[Satsuniml]

My friend and I met up this morning for a coffee and even though I do like her in general, there’s one thing I do find annoying about her and that’s her correcting me and people all the time. Earlier I said sometime like “and they were driving so quick” and she interjected with “QuickLY! Adverb remember!”. I just think it’s so silly as it’s only colloquial speech, does it matter? There was another one the other day in our group chat when someone put “your” and she responded with “*you’re” as it was the wrong one. If I see someone using the wrong grammar I couldn’t care less.

Would anyone else find this irritating?

"Janice, I'm comfortable with the way I speak, no more corrections please"

I don’t correct spelling and grammar but I am honestly shocked at how badly written some posts are. Sometimes, somewhere in the story, it’s apparent the OP is university educated - “we met 20 years ago at uni” etc. - which makes it even more shocking. How can one have passed GCSE English and go on to get a degree yet still write things like “Your not wrong, I would of text back but I been ill as their’s a bug going round”.

What does she say when you tell her to stop doing it?

Next time she says 'quickLY, adjective, remember?' reply 'Manners! Social situation, remember?'

It's rude to be so blunt, but I understand her irritation.

DH is autistic. Grammar is full of rules and someone with an autistic brain will almost certainly highlight when something is wrong and is unlikely to understand the nuances of rudeness.

He’s blocked people that consistently use “of” instead of “have” in messages because he finds it so painful to read.

Because a pass at GCSE doesn’t guarantee literacy.

Nope. I think these things all the time. Although don't say them to people out loud

My teachers at school ( primary) used to correct us if we spoke like that in the playground never mind in class lol.

This.

Some people can't spell. Some people's grammar is often incorrect. Some people can't drive, or kick a ball into a goal, or make a cake or make clothes, or do carpentry. Most of us can't do plumbing and deal with faulty electrics. Many people are not very computer literate.
It's never polite to point out people's failings.

Oh, she is my hero. I can only show that side of me with DH but I’m thinking it EVERY SINGLE TIME. I have decent enough interpersonal skills to know that it wouldn’t exactly go down well so I never say anything in public but arrrrggghhh…it really drives me nuts 😂

With people like that, I go deliberately out of my way to give them things to correct.

I agree. It does matter but I wouldn't correct an adult either, unless I thought it was genuinely helpful in a particular circumstance.

Yes. I'd have told her to pack it the fuck in a long time ago!

Everyone judges to a greater or lesser extent. Those that say they don't are fibbing.

It might not be spelling, it could be accent, looks, clothing choices, holiday choices, weight; anything really.

Plus it's not just one way snobbery, plenty get judged for being successful, having money, fame or a plummy accent.

AIBU is literally a forum asking people to judge so you're in excellent company @MNBlip

why do you call this person a friend?

The absolute irony of your post is astounding, considering you're apparently incapable of reading what she'd written. I'd maybe take that energy you waste judging other people's use of grammar and put it into improving your reading comprehension instead.

I would not tolerate this

DF "QuickLY! Adverb remember!"

You "Please would you answer in a full sentence."

Annoying, definitely. I used to do it when young. As a pp said, most people grow out of it, realising it makes them sound like an obnoxious twat.

why not write, ‘Oh! Who cares?!’ and then carry on without missing a beat.

I do find poor spelling and grammar grate on me, but (aside from a little pedants' corner habit) I accept that it's very much a 'me problem'). I work in a primary school, so it does have its uses sometimes, I suppose.

Buy one of those police sirens kids have on bikes and whip it out and set it off every time she does it without explanation.

If she did that to me, I’d be inclined to improve her social skills each time she corrected me.

But what are you judging?

People who have learning difficulties?

People who have been brought up in a chaotic home with no support?

People who spent more time caring for a sick parent than going to school?

People who just find spelling and grammar extremely difficult but are really good at other things?

The truth is you don't know who you're judging most of the time or why.

It's a mug's game and says far more about your shortcomings than theirs.

I’m with your friend, though I wouldn’t say it out loud. But I WOULD judge you. I can’t bear the ‘you did amazing hun’ type of phrase. When did it start? What is wrong with saying ‘amazingLY’?? How much harder can it be? I don’t remember people doing this 20 years ago. I hate it, to me it sounds sloppy and illiterate.