Friend keeps correcting my grammar - irritating

[Satsuniml]

My friend and I met up this morning for a coffee and even though I do like her in general, there’s one thing I do find annoying about her and that’s her correcting me and people all the time. Earlier I said sometime like “and they were driving so quick” and she interjected with “QuickLY! Adverb remember!”. I just think it’s so silly as it’s only colloquial speech, does it matter? There was another one the other day in our group chat when someone put “your” and she responded with “*you’re” as it was the wrong one. If I see someone using the wrong grammar I couldn’t care less.

Would anyone else find this irritating?

I loathe and detest poor grammar, but I’d only correct my family. It’s twattish to correct other adults. I keep my judging and disapproval inside my head.

I don’t correct people, but confess to silently judging them.
It does matter.

I'd find your friend incredibly irritating. I think correct grammar and spelling is important in a professional or school/university context, but outside of that you can be looser (with the caveat you need to be intelligible, occassionally there's posts on here with no grammar/sentences and those are very difficult to follow). I know my your, you're, there, their, they're but occasionally get the wrong one in messages as I'm tired or in a rush. At work I check.

(Eddited as it wasn't clear who I find irritating)

My Step mother of 30 years does this. She thinks it makes her look smart. It doesn't. It's just pompous. Inwardly I'm making V signs.

I told her she was being rude once. She did not like it and had a face like a smacked arse.

Funny how these types can weaponise grammar but cannot take feedback. And I assure you my grammar was perfect when I told her how rude she was being. 😂

I agree. I don’t see the problem with silently judging. If anything we have a literacy problem. I was helping my friend apply for jobs on the NHS website and the amount of spelling errors on different job posts was staggering. And yes, we loudly judged and laughed.

fair point! 😂 but my teenage DCs judge me if I use capital letters or full stops in our WhatsApp messages, since apparently this is a very gen X and uncool thing to do, so I'm trying to train myself out of it

She is NOT a friend.

Start giving her a wide berth.

I notice things like this but I know better than to constantly correct someone

I'd just say "That's really annoying" or reply "annoying" or "rude"

She is being rude and obnoxious. Does she have nothing more worthwhile to add other than these undermining corrections? You are not her students and you aren’t asking her for grammatical feedback.

I would call her out on it. I would say that her interruptions are disrupting the flow of conversations, and why does she feel compelled to keep doing this.

I'd find the errors more annoying than the corrections but would restrain myself from making the corrections

We all judge things either overtly or covertly. I wouldn’t correct spelling or mention it, but I would notice that it was incorrect.

I do think that spelling and grammar are important, as evidenced by the difficulty in deciphering some posts, that become like a stream of consciousness. If you want someone to read and/or comment on what you have written, it needs to be possible to get the gist of what it is, without having to keep re reading.

I wouldn't behave like your friend (particularly that first example!) but it really irritates me when people get "your" and "you're" mixed up. It's not difficult. I take it she's corrected you more than once on this? You could just use the correct word, then you'd stop irritating each other

I agree with others you should call her out, tell her you consider it rude and would like it to stop please.

*amount number of spelling errors

I agree that spelling and grammar are important, but so are manners and social skills. These sort of ‘corrections’ can cause anxiety and self consciousness in the recipient, who is just having a light hearted conversation not submitting a written exam. Many people have dyslexia and it would be shaming to have their grammar corrected in a social context, including in group chats.

The OP’s friend is not the parent in this situation, or the grammar police. She needs to bore off.

The irony 😂

How do you know she has appalling manners? Have you met her or are you basing your judgement entirely on the fact that she corrects people's grammar? Is it really rude to correct people? If I am travelling somewhere with a friend and that friend takes a wrong turning should I correct her or keep quiet for fear of being rude? I suspect I know the answer. So why is offence reserved only for being corrected about grammar and spelling?

Should there have been a comma after anything?

I was only joking 😉

It's disrespectful, she thinks she is better than you. What would happen if you tell her you don't like her doing that and ask her to stop?

I think grammar is important in some contexts, but you are not writing a thesis. In social situations, connection and feelings are more important.

I judge spelling. Didn’t say I judged punctuation 😆

But I still spelt it correctly 😁

Yes

If you can’t use proper grammar, you don’t really have the right to judge improper spelling.

And by the way, I avoid judging, because I know I often make mistakes.