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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if I should get revenge anonymously?

84 replies

ClatterHatters · 30/08/2025 12:09

I posted on this site some months ago about some awful bullying that happened to me in secondary school. I’m glad I did because everyone was so supportive. 😊

One poster suggested I somehow get revenge on them anonymously. This is something I myself had thought about before I even posted on MN so this poster was hardly making a brand new suggestion to me as such.

However, whenever I’ve thought about getting revenge - in this day and age with everything so traceable etc - even an online anonymous message can to some extent be traceable - and CCTV everywhere etc. To be honest I’d have the hassle of constant worry that I was going to be caught if I instigated a vengeful act.

Also if I’m being honest - if I ever got found out it could look like I didn’t have a happy or successful life now if I was trying to get my own back with regard to a traumatic incident that happened to me decades ago.

AIBU to ask what others think ?

OP posts:

New2you · 07/09/2025 07:33

You’d be found out, it’s not the 90’s anymore and the internet has rules now.

Original poster

ClatterHatters · 07/09/2025 08:46

New2you · 07/09/2025 07:33

You’d be found out, it’s not the 90’s anymore and the internet has rules now.

Yes totally agree and thank you everyone for talking me down

OP posts:

New2you · 07/09/2025 10:10

What triggered this do you think?

Rallentanda · 07/09/2025 10:13

I think sometimes there's a nugget of enjoyment and humour in thinking about revenge, but really, moving on, forgetting about them is the best thing.

I had a particularly nasty bully at school and I do think of her occasionally - I know if I ever met her again, I would pretend not to remember her. It's a bit pathetic!

Original poster

ClatterHatters · 07/09/2025 13:27

New2you · 07/09/2025 10:10

What triggered this do you think?

dunno just trying to assess the advice I was given

OP posts:

Original poster

ClatterHatters · 07/09/2025 13:28

Rallentanda · 07/09/2025 10:13

I think sometimes there's a nugget of enjoyment and humour in thinking about revenge, but really, moving on, forgetting about them is the best thing.

I had a particularly nasty bully at school and I do think of her occasionally - I know if I ever met her again, I would pretend not to remember her. It's a bit pathetic!

No not pathetic at all - pretending not to remember her is very self protective !

OP posts:

KawasakiBabe · 07/09/2025 13:38

There is someone I’d love to take revenge on, but it’s only hypothetically, I’d never actually do it. Tbh for the most I never give her a moments thought, why waste energy on someone you’d rather just simply disappeared? That said, if I’d heard of some misfortune which had happened to her I’d not be happy but I’d not lose sleep either.

Just move on!

Rallentanda · 07/09/2025 15:13

ClatterHatters · 07/09/2025 13:28

No not pathetic at all - pretending not to remember her is very self protective !

Show quote history

No you're right! "Gosh, what a long time ago now...Were we in French together, something like that?" 😆

Janeeyrre · 07/09/2025 15:21

I would honestly leave it, I think you would make yourself feel worse in the long run.

I think that taking the high road brings more satisfaction and peace of mind, when I think about people that bullied me and guys that messed me around I don't believe in karma, but I do believe in staying true to yourself and I know its not me to take revenge.

I do remember putting one guys toothbrush around the rim of a toilet though!

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