Immigrants but legal ones?

[Tiktakmam]

I’ve been living in the UK for 16 years, have two children, and work full-time. I consider myself integrated, living according to British values, and respecting this country. I look after myself and my home, and I try to contribute positively to the community.

Yet, many of us — especially from Eastern Europe — don’t feel entirely safe with the ongoing issues around illegal migrant boats. Even though we are legal residents, I’ve noticed growing dissatisfaction from some neighbours. When I mention that I’m from Eastern Europe, I often hear comments like, “Of course you are…” — basically implying I’m not British.

This makes me feel like I’ve somehow “brought these boats” here, as if I’m just another part of the immigrant problem. Seeing flags and attitudes that suggest “immigrants go home” is disheartening.

I also feel somewhat less confident around British people, especially in areas with mostly locals and fewer immigrants. For example, when I travel to campsites or smaller towns, I sometimes feel looked at as untrustworthy. Luckily, in London I feel much less like this.

Post-Brexit, it feels like the country has changed in ways that make life less secure, not just for immigrants but for everyone. It’s heartbreaking that all migrants, legal or not, are often dropped into one pot and judged as a single group.

I keep wondering — after so many years of people from other countries contributing to making the UK a brighter, more vibrant place, why does it feel like the country has been going downhill over time?

I feel so heartbroken, because I understand that the UK will never truly be my home, as I was not born here. Yet it hurts to realize that, with every passing year, it feels more and more like I will never be fully welcome.

Why has it gone so wrong on a broader scale? How can we have a healthier, safer society for everyone, while respecting the law and supporting integration?

I hope we can have a conversation about this that goes beyond fear and politics, and focuses on community, fairness, and safety for all residents.
Im just curious, in this era of migrant boats and heightened tension around immigration, how do you perceive or feel about other immigrants, even those who are legal residents? Does this climate affect the way you interact with them or how you feel about other immigrants, especially in less multicultural towns? What does your family of friends say?

Oh, they are. But just as the Tories didn't stop legal skilled immigration while shouting from the rooftops, neither will the German hard right or Farage, I believe.

There will be curbs on asylum seekers, but young skilled taxpaying immigrants are needed more than ever, because there aren't enough workers across most of Europe. Farage has already indicated as much.

It's going to be interesting when even Reform can't deliver on its promises. A new scapegoat will have to be found. I predict it will be anyone on benefits or a pension.

I feel for you OP. My mum is an immigrant too, has been in the Britain far longer than she lived in her home country, but that won't matter to the immigrants out lot. I'm an immigrant too, to my mum's country, which definitely has a big problem with racism but even then it doesn't feel like anywhere near the level I'm hearing about in the UK now.

It doesn’t help when it feels that British (well English) are hated. Your post suggests you despise British people, how is that ok? I’m sorry about all the racist, any-immigration activity going on now, and I’m sorry that people legally here feel unsafe. I think the majority of the aggressors don’t have more than one brain cell to rub together. They don’t represent the views of the majority but they’re very visible and loud.

yup - me. Been here 20 something years. Grandfather fought for the British in the war. I was born in Asia. Two weeks ago someone wrote on my windowsill - send them home. My children’ were so confused - they thought they were telling us to go back to London.

Why don’t we discuss how little many British people contribute?

Are there countries that British people can move to without already having a job in place or having the means to support themselves?

After 18 years here and children born here, this is the OP’s home too and most definitely her children’s home country so exactly how is that reconciled?

Surely people who deliberately choose a country to move to, contribute over many years, are in some ways more worthy of calling it their home then those just accidentally born here? It is a deliberate choice to come and contribute and adapt to our customs and culture, I suggest we respect and value that and I believe most of us do.

Take a church analogy. We have people who come to our church all the time and they are most welcome, whatever their prior faith was or was not. In fact those converting deliberately are often respected even more. Nobody tells them oh but your parents were not born Catholics so now you cannot be one of us. It is ridiculous. We should be flattered if people choose to come and contribute to our society and country!
I reckon there are as many people who feel just like me as there are those who do not and it is important to highlight that.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. You sound like a very valuable member of the community and have every right to be here! I think it's good to see the point of view of someone who actually has to live with xenophobia/racism. Too often I think we get offended on others' behalf without experiencing it ourselves although obviously it should be challenged. All I can say is the hospital I work at would probably have to close if all the amazing staff who have moved here from abroad suddenly "went home". They are what keeps the hospital going and are very valued.

Ah but racists are perfectly happy for white British men to abuse and rape women.

UK is home for the OP's children.

OP, I’m also “Eastern European,” though not from the EU (Ukrainian), and I’ve been in the UK for over 15 years. I wouldn’t claim to be as vital as a doctor or nurse (the only benchmark some people seem to use), but I do have a postgraduate degree in STEM, earn in the Mumsnet-approved six-figure bracket (mostly from abroad), and pay all my taxes here. My children have a British father, I’ve never claimed a penny in benefits, I own my home, and I volunteer. I am not an angel, but I wouldn't class myself as a liability either.

I know exactly what you mean, these past few weeks it feels like something has shifted massively. People who’ve known me for years have suddenly asked, with a strange sort of glee, whether I’ll be “sent back” once the war ends if there’s a peace deal. I’ve never even said to them I plan to stay forever, obviously just to steal housing or job opportunities from their kids, or whatever seems to be the flavour of the day... but they seem to relish the idea that they could make me leave. I never realised my very existence here irritated so many people until now.

Returning to the thread, I remember about a year ago maybe, I started a thread about my own legal immigration, and a lot of posters assured me they had no issues with skilled legal immigration. Clearly, things have changed rapidly.

My posts yesterday came off a bit defensive and boasty, maybe brash. Not my intention at all. But these days immigrants feel compelled to list their contributions and justify their presence. I am not immune to that.

@lastones can't imagine why anyone would want to send you-with such close family ties in the UK- back to a wartorn country. That glee is very disturbing and maybe new, as you say.

Isn’t much of Eastern Europe racist? How well do black people settle and feel safe in your home country OP? Is it safe to be openly gay there?

Im not in favour of the current political wave here in the UK and I’m also not in favour of the way many other countries discriminate. Unfortunately it would seem it’s ingrained in human nature.

I'm in Scotland, and am American. Married to a Scot.
Dfil was English, moved to Scotland when he was 20, lived there all his life as he married dmil (a Scot). He was to to fuck of home, get out of our country, Remember Bannockburn battle, stop taking Scots' jobs. This by guid auld Scottish nationalists.

DH is Scottish but sounds more mean McGregor, Andy Murray that ran c nesbit - so hers seen as a posh jock and okish.

I'm American who came here when I married dh. We've lived in Scotland and England. It seems all Americans in the UK have a hotline to the president - guess what - we dont! It was my fault g w bush invaded Iraq, it was my fault all Americans are fat - every man jack of us, my fault trump exists, breaths and is popular. I was asked when I was going home when the Brexit vote was announced! Wtaf? I'm not allowed to own property, I'm not allowed to vote, im not allowed to speak because I'm foreign - all shite I've been told by Scots and English.
Were loved in nsice areas, We've lived in former council.houses, We've lived on "diverse" areas, We've lived in up-and aspirational areas.
I paid a lot to get my legal paperwork, and left a good job with certificates and paperwork to come here to marry the man I love. I get offered entry jobs - cleaner, care assistant, cashier - fine jobs but - we don't accept a UD nursing degree, we don't accept a US accounting degree. Thank fuck I've retired and get a US pension.
I love my dh, I love the climate in Scotland, I love the scenery and history. But the xenophobic haters - I hope you die soon.

I was thinking more about better opportunities for the OPs kids and a better standard of living for them. I only wish my kids had the opportunities an EU passport gives the OPs kids.

If you're Eastern European (eu) and can't get dual. Citizenship you are throwing away a golden ticket for your children.

The irony is that if it weren’t for the kids, I’d actually go. Even now, the balance between earnings and quality of life would be far better back home, as my gross income doesn’t depend on which country I live in.

I think a lot of people thought that Brexit meant all foreigners would leave. They were sold a lie, and they will be sold it again.

My employer is heavily recruiting talented engineers from overseas. They can't find enough in the UK. Many of these are not from ' preferred" Anglosphere countries because your preferred countries do not prioritise STEM or tech or don't have mobile populations. The definition of English speaking is changing. The world speaks it now.

I think a lot of people thought that Brexit meant all foreigners would leave. They were sold a lie, and they will be sold it again.
Definitely. Some were quite vocal about that even though it was nothing to do with Brexit.

I hear you @Tiktakmam

I am British and the wave of anti immigrant feeling makes me feel like a stranger in my own country. It is shameful. I am reaching out to all of my friends who are first generation immigrants, or minorities, to reassure them that that nothing has changed between us as far as I am concerned. I also call out racist / anti immigrant comments from older family members who should know better.

If any others feel as I do, I suggest you do the same.

My children have British citizenship, and my husband holds a British passport. My sons consider the UK their home and sing the national anthem to me from their hearts. To some people’s surprise, their dad is British — though not English but white man born in UK. Some of our immigrant situations are more complex, but we are not trying to prove that we are the same as those born in the UK.
We simply mean no harm, well some of us, and do not deserve to be intimidated on a daily basis.

Reforms projected landslide in parliament would be on 30 per cent of the vote.70 per cent of the country don’t want their politics. Time to change the voting system to stop such nonsense.

Well we can if you want. You start the thread and as you may have noticed I always have plenty to say 😁

The poster is a legal immigrant who followed the rules made by the Beloved Boris Johnson and his amazing post Brexit points based immigration system that was going to be the Brexit panacea yet increased immigration by multiples.
If there aren't jobs in one place and you apply for a job in another place and get it why should you be grateful?
The poster is a highly skilled worker. I doubt she's taking the jobs of someone's 3rd generation unemployed grandson who got 2 gcses. If she was a low skilled worker then arguably yes she could be but that would mean the huge number of British born people living on benefits would have no choice but to get a low skilled low paid job in care/agriculture etc because there would be even fewer people paying tax.