This isn’t a funny prank is it?

[Lifealwaysgetsbetter]

I’m (f54) really annoyed with my partner (64m). I just called him as he was meant to be back after a couple of hours for a lunchtime drink in town with a bloke from work and that persons friends who I don’t know. Not bothered about him being out later as was just calling to see if he wanted dinner… but someone (who I don’t know) answered the phone and said he’s been taken to hospital. I said “what? Seriously? What’s happened” and he said yeah he’s in hospital. I said you best not be being a dick and he just burst out laughing and passed the phone to my partner who called me back and was annoyed and thinks I’m overreacting. I never call him when he’s out or set any restrictions as he’s an adult but I wanted to check if he wanted dinner making… and as he’s 3 hours late home it gave me a real fright to hear that as I’ve only met the bloke once in passing and I didn’t recognise the voice. My partner is drunk and telling me it was funny and to lighten up.. and have I put my hrt on.. which has made me really annoyed,

aibu - Jokes are meant to be funny surely? I also get to decide what makes me laugh and for all he knew I could be calling to tell him a family member was unwell as I never call when he’s out and he knows this.

I’ve just been on the mortgage website and with my new wage I can now afford to remortgage to borrow a bit more for longer and to get a better deal. Plus I could Airbnb a room occasionally for visitors to the area as that would be a way to make money and the layout of my house means that I can do this easily and still feel safe. I think I’d prefer that. Or look for a female lodger but then they’d probably have their dickhead boyfriend round! 🤣

@Lifealwaysgetsbetter

I was going to suggest giving a tiny bit of grace as it was the random friend and they had been drinking.

Until the HRT comment. Hell no - totally unacceptable.

Hope you cooked for yourself only.

Excellent, sounds like a plan! You don't need to share your plans with ex-DP btw, once you've shown him the door it's none of his business. Similarly, what he does after the split is none of your business either, so if he tries to guilt you or drag you into his problems (which he'll probably tell you are your fault), then simply tell him it's none of your business!

Best of luck! 🙏

Good for you @Lifealwaysgetsbetter!

I completely agree with Muffsies, don't let him emotionally manipulate you.

Has the prick surfaced yet @Lifealwaysgetsbetter?

He’s woken up and said he wasn’t aware what his mate had said to me and that yes it wasn’t funny now that he knows what was said. But no apology for telling me to grow up. He understands why I was annoyed but tbh it’s just another straw for my back… I now know I can afford this place myself and I feel freer than I have in months with that knowledge. Thank you all again.
ps he transferred the £800 before surfacing - but that’s going into my savings now. I won’t go on holiday with him again. Thankfully I have a week booked with friends in Nov

He knows exactly what he's done and he's trying to weasel out of accountability without apologising, that's so low. He thinks he can disrespect you and keep the status quo. You know how much regard he has for you now, and it sounds like you've mentally split form this guy because you'd rather keep your self respect.

Getting the impression that there wasn't really any apology of any sort. He's just realised he has pushed you too far and has scaled himself back ever so slightly, giving you a crumb of validation to tide you over. But he probably doesn't really think his friend did anything wrong, he probably does still find it amusing but can't be honest about it, because then you'd know for sure what a prick he is.

I'm glad you've got your £800, that's one less thing to worry about!

I really hope for your sake you don't let him hang around, get rid of him as quickly as womanly possible, or you'll end up stuck with him!

Honestly if it were me, I'd have had a bag packed for him and he'd have had his marching orders the moment he woke up.

That feeling of being freer than you have been in a long time? That's what it'll be like all the time when you are no longer weighed down by the misery caused by this prick.

This. The ‘joke’ ended pretty quickly but the HRT comment - no thank you.
Men will never cease to amaze me 😞

So let’s assume that he spent the whole night totally unaware of what was said. Hard to believe but let’s just run with that.

When you, the woman that he loves, messaged him clearly very upset, his response was to tell you to grow up? And call you a drama queen? And on the phone to ask if you’d taken your HRT? So he jumped to the conclusion that you were being OTT without checking what was said to you?? 😳 I don’t think speaking to your partner like that is ok in any situation but without finding out what was even said???

Obviously though he very clearly did know what was said. Your text practically spells it out and you told him on the phone. What’s happened is that he’s woken up sober and realised that he’s in the shit and that actually, the “prank” is pretty hard to defend. Last night he was having too much fun to give a shit whether his mate acted like a dick.

Saying those things would be game over for me. It’s a glimpse into how he views you, and it’s not nice.

I’m glad you can remortgage and you’re financially secure. I would be moving in that direction sharpish and he can go and have as many nights with his dickish mates as he wants.

Very few pranks are funny, the whole point of them is to make someone feel scared/sad/stupid/foolish

Boot him out. I’m surprised at his friend’s immaturity and his lack of apology. You appear to be funding him, too.

A drunk man tells his sober truth