This isn’t a funny prank is it?

[Lifealwaysgetsbetter]

I’m (f54) really annoyed with my partner (64m). I just called him as he was meant to be back after a couple of hours for a lunchtime drink in town with a bloke from work and that persons friends who I don’t know. Not bothered about him being out later as was just calling to see if he wanted dinner… but someone (who I don’t know) answered the phone and said he’s been taken to hospital. I said “what? Seriously? What’s happened” and he said yeah he’s in hospital. I said you best not be being a dick and he just burst out laughing and passed the phone to my partner who called me back and was annoyed and thinks I’m overreacting. I never call him when he’s out or set any restrictions as he’s an adult but I wanted to check if he wanted dinner making… and as he’s 3 hours late home it gave me a real fright to hear that as I’ve only met the bloke once in passing and I didn’t recognise the voice. My partner is drunk and telling me it was funny and to lighten up.. and have I put my hrt on.. which has made me really annoyed,

aibu - Jokes are meant to be funny surely? I also get to decide what makes me laugh and for all he knew I could be calling to tell him a family member was unwell as I never call when he’s out and he knows this.

I think he has to go really, life is too short isn’t it.

I think he has to go really, life is too short isn’t it.

Tbh I’ve just not said a word since he came in. He’s not used to this from me as I would normally continue an argument in person. I no longer care about his opinion of me.

The prank was bloody stupid but the HRT comment and then telling you that you’re being a drama queen? Nah!
He’s come back now but he’d be in the spare room/sofa and I’d be bloody telling him to make himself scarce tomorrow! What a fricking prick!

He owes me £800 today for rent, bills and food. Good luck to him getting a flat for that. He’s on min wage working 20 hours a week and nobody will give him a mortgage. I earn 4 times what he does (he used to earn the same til he retired a year ago and just got part time work)?

There's no point in continuing. He's made himself very clear. Keep your dignity and just get on with your own thing. Work out what you want to do next and don't engage until you have a plan.

I’m coming into some money in just over a year. I have no financial worries tbh and I’ve got friends locally. Although I’ve shared none of his behaviour. He’s very charming to them but I reckon they will see through it as I mentioned he’d been getting more cantankerous with age. He also was awful when we were on holiday earlier in the month. That’s a whole other thread. But I’m grateful he’s showing me who he is. I will give him a chance to reflect in the morning but it’s unlikely he will. He’s very sensitive to criticism so it’s always everyone else to blame. His kids have very little to do with him & he can’t see why!

He’s throwing up in the downstairs loo. Been drinking since lunchtime when he was going out for 2 or 3 pints

He's about to find out what happens when you bite the hand that feeds. From the sounds of it though I doubt he'll learn anything.

No it isn't funny but if your partner is drunk he will think it is funny. I would just let this one go personally.

It's only a joke if the other person finds it funny.
His mate is an arsehole and I have no idea why he's siding with him.

Oh god that is not funny in the slightest.

When I was younger, I was at a friends house, waiting for my then BF and another friend to arrive. The friend burst into the house, shouting there's been an accident - your BF has run over a little girl and he has smashed his car up.

I panicked and nearly passed out from the shock - only for my BF to come in, laughing hysterically, saying it was just a joke. 🙄

Some people have a really warped sense of humour.

I will give him a chance to reflect in the morning but it’s unlikely he will.

Why? What good does he bring to your life? He isn’t paying his way, is rude when you were on holiday, rude and misogynistic when drunk.

God do they EVER grow up?

The HRT comment: presumably you’re going to point out to him that was completely unacceptable?

He does pay his way but that’s about it. He cuts the grass too lol. But tbh it’s not remotely difficult to do that. I don’t want a lodger. But I do need a few months to get some cash together to buffer me. I can do this. I’m good at “grey rock” techniques although I didn’t do it today but my nervous system kicked in during that phone call. Not about him so much but it reminded me of previous horrible shocking phone calls.

I’d be tempted to just not come home one night.

I’d be tempted to tell him to not bother coming home any night, ever. Seriously, what’s the point in this shit when you get to your fifties? Where did all the adult men go?

There’s absolutely no point. I know it’s not anything to do with hrt but he will keep defending himself. And I’ve decided to disengage. I had issues with severe depression for a couple of weeks post - hysterectomy but I know I’m not depressed now. He’s more likely to have something wrong with his hormones than I am tbh.

I’ve blocked him on WhatsApp and iPhone. I don’t want any comms from him. I’m going to bed soon. Thanks everyone x

“I’ve been thinking and maybe it would have been useful to be admitted to hospital as you’d have somewhere to stay 🤣”

Oh this made me laugh OP but I know it’s not funny! Not in the slightest. What an absolute prick. I hope he’s feeling rough over the weekend and can reflect on his cuntish behaviour.

So you cant afford the mortgage without his money but you're financially secure but then you need a few months to get money together. Bit contradictory

I can get by (just) without his contributions but by financially secure, I mean I have the earning capacity due to a recent promotion to get a mortgage (plus I’m young enough) and I have no bad credit rating. But I don’t have much in terms of savings to be able to put my house on the market right this minute. But that’s not the point of this post. My AIBU was about the prank call.

He’s showing you who he really is when he’s out with his friends - I’d see if he apologises once he’s sober but be looking ahead to whether I want to be with him or not.

This will sound harsh but I mean it in a friendly way.

What are you doing with yourself woman? The more you post, the worse he sounds. He's not going to get better, he won't change, and it sounds as though he makes you fucking miserable.

Why on earth are you putting up with this? Get rid of the prick!

If that means you need to get a lodger, get a lodger. You don't necessarily have to get a male lodger.

What do you mean he owes you £800? If it's this months rent and bills he's due to give you, get that out of him asap, then get shot of him straight after!

What a dickhead he is!