Are grandparents AIBU about us getting a cat??

[latesummerreminiscing]

To give some context, me and family (British DH and DS) live in England since about 12 years, I am from a European country. The plan was always to move back to my home country but for various reasons this is now unlikely to happen, so we make a huge effort to visit my family a lot (DH and DS fully on board and love that). We are very close to my parents. Now my DS wants a cat since years and my parents are not keen on us getting a cat and the reasoning is "once you have a cat, our grandson won't want to visit us as much any more"

To be honest I was pretty gobsmacked and found this quite rude, as we visit every 3 months at least and they just about come over once a year, if that. Also we have no shortage of people to look after the cat when we are away. AIBU that it's a bit selfish of my parents?

The saying is you sometimes have to let well meant advice go into one ear, and out the other - you don’t hold onto it or give it space in your mind.

I also don't see the issue. It's not like they're vetoing your decision - if you want a cat, get a cat. They're just saying what is true: it will make it harder to travel for extended periods of time.

I find it baffling the responses on here though, people saying it's none of their business, they're self-absorbed, they're controlling. Can't they understand where they're coming from? They clearly love their grandson and seems like they've developed a lovely relationship with him, and like having him around as much as possible. It's understandable they'll be wary of anything that can jeopardise that. That's very normal in my book, as someone who's also living in a different country from my parents and who's now navigating making sure my child has a strong relationship with their grandparents. Personally, I also love cats but wouldn't want one because I know it will make it harder to go away whenever and for how long I like (especially at Christmas when there's a severe shortage of catsitters).

We had a single cat who slept in my son's room and followed him around the house. She liked a lot of fussing and didn't like being on her own. Sadly we lost her in 2019 just a month before she would have turned 20.

They are being ridiculous - of course you can get a cat. There are loads of good professional cat-sitters around who can come when you're away and feed the cat in your own home (which cats prefer to a cattery), just find one you like and who is reliable. Enjoy your cat!

If, when I was a child, I’d found out that I couldn’t have a pet cat because my grandparents wouldn’t allow it, it’s hard to exaggerate just how much I would have hated them for it. I’d have refused to speak to them ever again.

You say you just spent a big part of the Summer with them, would you be leaving the cat for many weeks at a time? A lot of cats don't like catteries, and will need more than just a drop.in from a neighbour if it's weeks and weeks.
They do notice when everyone disappears from the house for long stretches.
I would factor in a cat sitter who can live in your house while you are away, and use the same one regularly.

^Exactly this. We have 3 cats and they don’t stop us going away. We either put them in a cattery or pay a cat sitter. You just have to plan trips away in advance.