Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to be proud of my DS for protecting a group of girls.

83 replies

H0210zero · 27/08/2025 20:35

My DS is 12 however he's well built bigger then some grown men. But has long hair so sometimes from behind looks like a girl. Back in June as he was waiting for a bus from school with a small group of female friends. One of his friends began to get hassled by a drunk man looked as though he was also on some sort of drugs. Who was getting very provocative with her. Scaring her. She is 13 so you can imagine the fear. I don't think at this point he had realised my son was a male. This girl and a few others had asked the man to leave them alone. He tried at one point to snatch a phone and my DS just had enough he does boxing as a hobby and warned this man to leave the girls alone the man mocked him calling him a pansy due to his hair. Then tried to grab an 11 year old girls boobs making her cry. Sneering at them. My son took a swing and knocked the man out cold. Some adults did appear shortly after and kept an eye on the man who was passed out and called Police and ambulance. The idiot was fine just a bruised ego and a bust lip. Police arrested him for theft (he'd attacked someone else further along the street and took their phone) possession if class A drugs and also indecent assault on a minor. We were told he was already on the sex offenders list and not meant to be near a school. The two police officers shook my son's hand for stopping him going further then made a point of making it clear to the guy when he came round that the 12 year old who he called a pansy was the one who laid him out cold.

The AIBU is because just this week I bumped into one of the other kids parents. (A girl who wasn't touched and had managed to back away from the man). Other parents have sent him chocolates and thanked him for protecting the girls. This mother however berated me for allowing my son to learn to fight, because in her view he could have made the situation worse if the man and retaliated and hurt him or the other kids and he could have had a weapon. She seemed really put out when I said I was proud of him as if she expected me to tell him off. She seemed to think the kids should have tried to stay calm and ignore the man until the bus arrived and they could be safe. She had no consideration for the few girls that had already been grabbed and groped or nearly had their phone stolen or the fact the man was already a sex offender. She expects them to "hold on" and put up with it till an adult arrives. AIBU to be proud of my boy. He stood up for girls who couldn't despite the risks.

OP posts:
YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 27/08/2025 21:53

I genuinely know someone who’s facing a murder charge for similar, one punch and the other guy was dead…..so no I wouldn’t recommend it.

dancemom · 27/08/2025 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/08/2025 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Trendyname · 27/08/2025 22:22

H0210zero · 27/08/2025 20:35

My DS is 12 however he's well built bigger then some grown men. But has long hair so sometimes from behind looks like a girl. Back in June as he was waiting for a bus from school with a small group of female friends. One of his friends began to get hassled by a drunk man looked as though he was also on some sort of drugs. Who was getting very provocative with her. Scaring her. She is 13 so you can imagine the fear. I don't think at this point he had realised my son was a male. This girl and a few others had asked the man to leave them alone. He tried at one point to snatch a phone and my DS just had enough he does boxing as a hobby and warned this man to leave the girls alone the man mocked him calling him a pansy due to his hair. Then tried to grab an 11 year old girls boobs making her cry. Sneering at them. My son took a swing and knocked the man out cold. Some adults did appear shortly after and kept an eye on the man who was passed out and called Police and ambulance. The idiot was fine just a bruised ego and a bust lip. Police arrested him for theft (he'd attacked someone else further along the street and took their phone) possession if class A drugs and also indecent assault on a minor. We were told he was already on the sex offenders list and not meant to be near a school. The two police officers shook my son's hand for stopping him going further then made a point of making it clear to the guy when he came round that the 12 year old who he called a pansy was the one who laid him out cold.

The AIBU is because just this week I bumped into one of the other kids parents. (A girl who wasn't touched and had managed to back away from the man). Other parents have sent him chocolates and thanked him for protecting the girls. This mother however berated me for allowing my son to learn to fight, because in her view he could have made the situation worse if the man and retaliated and hurt him or the other kids and he could have had a weapon. She seemed really put out when I said I was proud of him as if she expected me to tell him off. She seemed to think the kids should have tried to stay calm and ignore the man until the bus arrived and they could be safe. She had no consideration for the few girls that had already been grabbed and groped or nearly had their phone stolen or the fact the man was already a sex offender. She expects them to "hold on" and put up with it till an adult arrives. AIBU to be proud of my boy. He stood up for girls who couldn't despite the risks.

Some people are looking to find fault in anything. This lady seems to be one. You should be proud of your son.

smallpinecone · 27/08/2025 22:24

Trendyname · 27/08/2025 22:22

Some people are looking to find fault in anything. This lady seems to be one. You should be proud of your son.

Show quote history

Don’t know if I’d be feeling proud of my son if he was charged with manslaughter…

AdoraBell · 27/08/2025 22:27

YANBU. How would she be feel if her DD was harassed by that man?

Ilikewinter · 27/08/2025 22:28

No reply from the OP?? ...... I can't imagine the Police shaking his hand for knocking someone out with a punch - I thought boxers had it drummed into them not to react like that.

MoFadaCromulent · 27/08/2025 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PinsAndfg · 27/08/2025 22:34

I'm not going to read this whole thread because you get the "violence is never the answer" people who say that kind words and social workers should be used in these situations instead

Be proud of your DS

5128gap · 27/08/2025 22:37

I wonder why there's no report of this in the media. Everyone must have been ever so discrete.

ScholesPanda · 27/08/2025 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MarxistMags · 27/08/2025 22:47

I'd be super proud of him. Glad it didn't all go terribly wrong though.

Kreepture · 27/08/2025 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 27/08/2025 22:59

Just a reminder that trollhunting is against our Talk Guidelines, thanks. Please hit the report button if you have concerns you want to share.

Laura95167 · 27/08/2025 23:03

I think DS morally did the right thing but he needs to be careful.

1 punch is enough to kill and you dont want DS with a record. He needs to use violence only as a last resort becuase if he had killed him or if he hadnt turned out to be on drugs with sex crime history this could have gone very differently

So yes be proud but also teach caution

PigletSanders · 28/08/2025 08:08

Oh OP. 🤣

PansyPotter84 · 28/08/2025 08:24

100% your son was in the right here.

You should be very proud of him.

There is a massive difference between looking for trouble and defending others.

If more boys/men were like your son,
there would be fewer disgusting perverts like this who felt able to abuse children in broad daylight.

The school of thought that says “wait for an adult/police/ just film it for evidence later” means letting wierdos and abusers carry on in the hope of getting “justice” later.

Your son stopped further abuse.

There is a time and a place to use force (and the law is on his side too- “fighting back” is not an offence and never has been- it’s self defence or defence of another).

I wish more men and boys were like
your son.

Please show him all of these messages of support. You should be very very proud of
him.

🙂

MsFelicityLemon · 28/08/2025 08:37

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:53

I got 93 year old mum vibes from this too 😂😂

Show quote history

It feels almost like a modern-day Enid Blyton story, where the chief of police would enlist children to help with an investigation and then praise them afterwards for outperforming his own officers.

But well done to the OP's son. We need more 12 year olds, who are bigger than the average man to have his good intentions.

crumpetswithcheeze · 28/08/2025 08:52

The other mother is an idiot.

Kevinspicey · 28/08/2025 08:55

The antithesis of being bigger than the average man but also being mistaken for a teenage girl 😆

tripleginandtonic · 28/08/2025 09:06

If he'd have knocked the man out cold and he'd died that's his life severely impacted. It wouldn't be seen as self defence necessarily. I taught my dc to go and get help. A drugged up man can be stronger than they seem.

CurlewKate · 28/08/2025 09:11

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

Beeinalily · 28/08/2025 09:33

Your son is a hero OP, but it could have ended badly. But that's the nature of heroism, I guess. Well done to him, the other mum is an ungrateful twit.

Onwardspeople · 28/08/2025 09:40

Violence is very rarely an appropriate response, but in this situation, I am not sure what else he could do? They had asked the weird pervert to stop and he didn't. I certainly wouldn't stand by and watch a young girl be sexually assaulted, I would absolutely have swung for him.
Providing he knows that this could have gone very differently (pervert could have had a weapon, or he could have accidently killed him) then that is all you can do.

ittakes2 · 28/08/2025 09:57

They were in at a bus stop not trapped in a room - I don't understand why they put up with this escalating behaviour and did not just walk away.

Have you heard of the one punch charity? promoting how one punch can lead to death? If your son had of hit this man in a part of his head or if he'd fallen and died after hitting his head on the curb .... you do realise that your son would have had to face the criminal consequences and his life would have forever been changed.

If your son wants to make a difference I think some advice on deescalating situations would be useful for him. Being able to use his head to defuse situations in future would make him a hero in everyone's eyes.