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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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AIBU to be proud of my DS for protecting a group of girls.

83 replies

H0210zero · 27/08/2025 20:35

My DS is 12 however he's well built bigger then some grown men. But has long hair so sometimes from behind looks like a girl. Back in June as he was waiting for a bus from school with a small group of female friends. One of his friends began to get hassled by a drunk man looked as though he was also on some sort of drugs. Who was getting very provocative with her. Scaring her. She is 13 so you can imagine the fear. I don't think at this point he had realised my son was a male. This girl and a few others had asked the man to leave them alone. He tried at one point to snatch a phone and my DS just had enough he does boxing as a hobby and warned this man to leave the girls alone the man mocked him calling him a pansy due to his hair. Then tried to grab an 11 year old girls boobs making her cry. Sneering at them. My son took a swing and knocked the man out cold. Some adults did appear shortly after and kept an eye on the man who was passed out and called Police and ambulance. The idiot was fine just a bruised ego and a bust lip. Police arrested him for theft (he'd attacked someone else further along the street and took their phone) possession if class A drugs and also indecent assault on a minor. We were told he was already on the sex offenders list and not meant to be near a school. The two police officers shook my son's hand for stopping him going further then made a point of making it clear to the guy when he came round that the 12 year old who he called a pansy was the one who laid him out cold.

The AIBU is because just this week I bumped into one of the other kids parents. (A girl who wasn't touched and had managed to back away from the man). Other parents have sent him chocolates and thanked him for protecting the girls. This mother however berated me for allowing my son to learn to fight, because in her view he could have made the situation worse if the man and retaliated and hurt him or the other kids and he could have had a weapon. She seemed really put out when I said I was proud of him as if she expected me to tell him off. She seemed to think the kids should have tried to stay calm and ignore the man until the bus arrived and they could be safe. She had no consideration for the few girls that had already been grabbed and groped or nearly had their phone stolen or the fact the man was already a sex offender. She expects them to "hold on" and put up with it till an adult arrives. AIBU to be proud of my boy. He stood up for girls who couldn't despite the risks.

OP posts:
Rosesanddaffs · 27/08/2025 20:41

She should be grateful he was there. I’d be super proud of him and well done to you for raising a lovely boy xx

Kreepture · 27/08/2025 20:48

The police told everyone the guy was on the SO register? Sure they did.

Dave57 · 27/08/2025 20:49

she is an arse and you are right to be incredibly proud of your son for having the guts to do it. He was put in an awful position and he handled it with a maturity beyond his years.

TheUsualChaos · 27/08/2025 20:50

She thinks they should have held on and stayed calm! Unbelievable! The man was grabbing at them. At the very least they should have run away, definitely not "hold on" but luckily your DS dealt with him so they didn't have to. If the creep had been able to retaliate it would have been aimed at your DS not the girls. He put their safety above his own, I think the word she is looking for is thank you! Some people!

Chickenbone123 · 27/08/2025 20:50

It went well and he was brave. For that I would say Welldone. It was a difficult situation and he hasn’t done the wrong thing.

But I would say he’s 12. It’s likely situations like this will happen a few times more atleast in his lifetime and violence is a last resort. That guy could have had a weapon. The mother is right. And he might not have knocked him out. Or he may have done and his head hit a kerb. Dead. Your son done for manslaughter.

Honestly it’s not worth it. We need men to stand up for women but they need to move wisely. Look at the American travelling in Germany last week.

LakieLady · 27/08/2025 20:51

Your DS rocks!

Shame there aren't more like him.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 27/08/2025 20:51

. The two police officers shook my son's hand for stopping him going further

and then everyone clapped and cheered.

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:52

Kreepture · 27/08/2025 20:48

The police told everyone the guy was on the SO register? Sure they did.

They also waited for the man to come round to mock him for being knocked out by a 12 year old 🤨

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:53

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 27/08/2025 20:51

. The two police officers shook my son's hand for stopping him going further

and then everyone clapped and cheered.

I got 93 year old mum vibes from this too 😂😂

Kreepture · 27/08/2025 20:53

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:52

They also waited for the man to come round to mock him for being knocked out by a 12 year old 🤨

you mean the boxing trained 12yo built like an adult man who wasnt scared of the drunk druggie harassing his friends?

OutandAboutMum1821 · 27/08/2025 20:55

YANBU - I felt really proud of your son reading this too OP. Well done him! As a mother of a son and daughter, I would also have been proud of my son, and beyond relieved if my own DD had been stood up for like that by your DS. That Mum may have felt differently if her DD had been harmed, she should have been thanking your son.

afaloren · 27/08/2025 20:55

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GreenWheat · 27/08/2025 20:56

Hmmm... I mean it's laudable that your DS wanted to step up and protect the girls, but he really needs to be careful about taking the first punch in a fight. The man could have had a weapon or a group of mates round the corner. And if he's a big lad already he could have done more damage than he meant to.

Thehop · 27/08/2025 20:59

It's lovely he wanted to look after them but if the guy had landed on a rock and died he'd be locked up.

BetweenTwoFerns · 27/08/2025 21:00

I would not be pleased with the police for pointing out my child to a drunken, drug taking sex offender. The whole situation is mad.

FOJN · 27/08/2025 21:04

She might have a point about the potential risk of escalation BUT as that is not what happened I'm not sure why she's so bothered by your son knocking a pervert out.

Learning to fight and use those skills appropriately is no bad thing. You have every right to feel proud of your son, he exercised restraint until that was no longer an option.

We really should not shame men who meet force with force when it's required.

Ponoka7 · 27/08/2025 21:11

Kreepture · 27/08/2025 20:48

The police told everyone the guy was on the SO register? Sure they did.

The police will disclose that information if it is necessary for the protection of children. They will drop information if they are disgusted by whoever they are arresting.
I'm not saying this happened.
If it did OP, look with, 21 year old slashed protecting girls, Germany, things don't always end well.

EchoedSilence · 27/08/2025 21:22

Thehop · 27/08/2025 20:59

It's lovely he wanted to look after them but if the guy had landed on a rock and died he'd be locked up.

Especially if it happened in Emmerdale.

LimbOnTheBranchBranchOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheBog · 27/08/2025 21:28

EchoedSilence · 27/08/2025 21:22

Especially if it happened in Emmerdale.

Sounds like it did happen in a soap opera.

A 12yo bigger than an adult male, but somehow also looks like a girl, knocked out a fully grown man who was unconscious long enough for the police to appear, said 12yo also knew when someone was both drinking and on drugs, and the police divulged his whole criminal history while shaking ops sons hand, despite them not taking statements yet, so ops son could have just randomly assaulted a guy and knocked him out for no good reason.

My money is on ops son maybe shouting at a drunk guy for saying something inappropriate to his friend at a push.

rwalker · 27/08/2025 21:32

I think sometimes analysing situations and thinking of all the what if’s isn’t constructive
because you can always come up with the worst case scenario

its a difficult one because on one hand he stepped up and bid a brave amazing thing but the terrifying thing this could of ended up being a one punch killing
sorry if that sounds dramatic but I’d advise anyone to watch the story of the guy convicted of a one punch killing . I did and it stuck with me the first thing that sprung into my mind
I made my lads watch it it’s on YouTube about the lad who literally punched a guy once he went down hit his head and it killed him everyone’s lives ruined

3pears · 27/08/2025 21:34

I fully believe this story 🤨

smallpinecone · 27/08/2025 21:36

They gave your son all that information?

AIBU to be proud of my DS for protecting a group of girls.
Whosunreasonable · 27/08/2025 21:45

My DS does boxing as a hobby and his trainer has it drummed into them NEVER throw the first punch. No matter what. That 1 punch could destroy your life if you hit them hard. You could kill someone.
He has been training 6 yrs 3 times a week and has NEVER knocked anyone out. Even in competitions.

CunningPlanMaster · 27/08/2025 21:50
Sarcastic Joke GIF

Mmmm…

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 27/08/2025 21:51

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