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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Things that PISS you off, but you can't really say so.

637 replies

pinknailvarnish1 · 26/08/2025 17:12

I have a few. Can't say them out loud (except to DH).

MIL & FIL - multi millionaires. Spend loads of money on themselves, lavish holidays, sports cars, only the very best restaurants etc. Never ever do they give a penny to their adult children (and one is flat broke). This is despite them both having been given property and a thriving business by a parent themselves.

My Dad - Overbearing, alcoholic, violent outbursts etc, all through our childhood. He's now decrepit and I have to do so much for him. I resent it.

Brother - keeps saying he's broke, whilst living like a rockstar. Just spend £20k on a holiday, lives in a £600k house, drives top of the range car, but often claims poverty - stop lying!

And breathe......

Anyone else?

OP posts:

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/08/2025 19:54

IDespairOfTheHumanRace · 26/08/2025 18:25

Poorly spoken and articulated English - speech peppered with dropped aitches, glottal stops, double negatives and every sentence full of 'fillers' - "to be fair", "see what I mean"? and "like" amongst others.

Overuse of superlatives, particularly "super".

Sadly, it appears to be endemic now and, for me, at least, it is synonymous with fingernails being drawn down a blackboard and leaves me wanting to rip my ears off!

Seeing incorrect plurals everywhere, inc. on MN - family’s, baby’s, party’s, box’s, bus’s, Christmas’s.

ladyamy · 26/08/2025 19:54

cheesecurdsandgravy · 26/08/2025 17:26

I work with children and young people with disabilities.

There is nothing that I find more infuriating than parents who are exaggerating their children’s needs because they want more benefit money/respite care/to excuse their own crap parenting.

I regularly fantasise about telling them they’re talking shit and that everyone knows it. But, instead, I am limited to writing careful worded reports which are simply added to everyone else’s carefully written reports because there is absolutely no way that we have the time/energy to divert to fight their bullshit.

As an SEN teacher I see this, too. Frustrates, worries and angers me.

LBFseBrom · 26/08/2025 19:56

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/08/2025 19:54

Seeing incorrect plurals everywhere, inc. on MN - family’s, baby’s, party’s, box’s, bus’s, Christmas’s.

Show quote history

Yes, it's awful. Greengrocers' apostrophes.

Crikeyalmighty · 26/08/2025 19:57

@Sogfree I’m afraid there are some real scroats out there who actually know how to play the system to the max and use their kids as an ATM when it comes to benefits - and make it that good parents with real insurmountable issues have to jump through hoops

JaneyDC · 26/08/2025 19:57

mumofoneAloneandwell · 26/08/2025 17:19

Mine is petty compared to yours but

My dd(6) with autism does many things to drive me up the wall, as all kids do!

But the one thing is that she messes up the duvet on my bed

So I will put the duvet on top of us, as we're getting ready to go to bed, or having a late night snack as we have done during this summer. Its neat and covers both of us and is in the right place on the bed

She will decide to hide under it at an odd angle

Or she will roll herself in it, so its not in its right place

Or just pull it half off the bed

So when I get into bed, the duvet is the wrong way round, its half off the bed, its not in its place. It just really pisses me off 😭😭😭

But I cant say anything, just silently curse in my head and then let it go

I feel your pain.

My DS (also 6!) messes up my duvet most days. I'll literally make the bed and go and get something. By the time I'm back, he's been in it, scrunched it up and taken himself off to do something else. I've moaned at him SO many about this and when I stopped and actually heard myself, I couldn't believe how petty I was being! It still gives me the rage though and I still tell him off!

I also get annoyed with my DH's sister and her family. Her and her husband are always off out with friends or having dates and always asking my PIL's to babysit. I feel like they have a monopoly on the grandparents. We rarely ask, but when we do, his parents are most often already booked in by them! It's ridiculous! Can't ask my folks as they're not close. We don't kick up a fuss as it's not our right for free childcare obvs.

ilovepixie · 26/08/2025 19:57

Those food influencer on Thick Tok and the like eating with their mouth open so you see everything, they can’t use cutlery properly and everything is so lovely according to them. They are obviously paid to say it’s nice and they get the food for free also.

Alasar · 26/08/2025 19:58

bumchic · 26/08/2025 17:29

DH falls asleep literally the minute he lies down and it’s infuriating. How can he just switch off like that?

Also I have irrational ugly jealousy of people who have grandparent childcare available to them. My DC have no GPs who can look after them and I am sad about it every time I see families who have.

Same to grandparents one. I feel rage by how lucky my brother has it with my mum to help out. We live too far away. By choice. But I still have the rage.

My daughter asks me about 200 times a day "where are you?". I'm in the next room. I haven't fucking ran away.

My husband makes this noise with his lips sometimes. I cant even describe it. Ugh.

KindnessIsKey123 · 26/08/2025 19:58

All of these flipping podcasts telling you how to run your life!!!

unless you are an actual world renowned specialist- just shush.

What to eat, what not to eat, how to live, what to do in your marriage, what to do in your job, what to do with your kids…. There’s TOO MANY and it’s too conflicting.

exhausting.

itsgettingweird · 26/08/2025 19:58

Doingtheboxerbeat · 26/08/2025 17:27

My chicken Kiev leaked all the buttery juice all over the foil and I'm absolutely distraught 😳.

Yep - I’d want a tantrum over that one but clearly can’t because it’s not really as big a deal as it feels 😂

except it really is!

Momstermash94 · 26/08/2025 20:00

Sogfree · 26/08/2025 19:24

You've said it far more eloquently than I could.

The parent whose 9 year old child we toilet trained at school deserves my highest wrath, as she refused to support us at home and insisted we went back to nappies in school because of "his anxiety". Aka her benefits claim.

Show quote history

My SIL is like this, her 5 yo DD is autistic and in nappies but won't even consider toilet training her because "it would be too overwhelming for her, she would never be able to do it, she'll be in nappies for life" but refuses to even try. Puts her in her room all day from morning until night locked behind a baby gate with a tablet and makes no effort to interact with her other than to fulfil her basic physical needs and then goes on about how her child's speech is terrible and she has social anxiety. If someone talks about another ND child her mother gets annoyed and offended and instantly says "well they aren't as bad as my DD, my DC is much worse".

This child was developing considerably better before she was able to claim benefits for her, now she only seems to regress and I dont believe its a natural regression at all. Rather than work with her they try keep her behind and worse off than she could be

Vegalyra · 26/08/2025 20:00

Mumofsoontobe3 · 26/08/2025 18:01

Mine is my DH. Claims he's cleaned the kitchen 'for you' .. I emptied the bin 'for you' .. I bathed the kids 'for you' .. ITS OUR HOUSE. ITS OUR CHILDREN. It's not for me!!!! Granted he does his fair share, works full time, he's a good hands on dad and partner but the 'for you' drives me absolutely insane.

My DH used to do this a lot in the first couple of years after our eldest was born. For every little bit of basic parenting he had to be praised like he was doing me a favour and deserved a medal. Used to drive me crazy. Luckily it’s stopped now. I think my repeated eye-rolling did the trick.

SchrodingersParrot · 26/08/2025 20:00

Celebrity "authors" whose books are actually ghostwritten. Why should they take the credit for someone else's hard work?

Loloj · 26/08/2025 20:01

pinknailvarnish1 · 26/08/2025 18:09

DH stuffing things into the bin. Never thinks to empty it into the outside bin, oh no, let's just keep cramming it in - someone else will empty it eventually - yes, always fucking me!!

Yes - and then the bin bag splits whilst attempting to empty it because it so bloody full!! Arrgh!

Dontknowwhattocall13893 · 26/08/2025 20:02

BettysRoasties · 26/08/2025 17:40

People who claim poverty while having thousands in the bank. You’re not poor!!

People who let their noisy children ruin things for everyone else. Just deal with your child!!

Dh falling asleep in 10 second’s, fuck off.

People who can’t ever decide on something, what should we have for dinner? Oh I don’t know what do you want? To not have to pick for one fucking time!

Arseholes who buy lovely houses with lovely gardens and rip it all out. Turn wildlife filled gardens to concrete and Astroturf and build on every inch they can. Whole front gardens churned into drive ways that can hold 10 cars, you have two!! You could have left something nice and natural.

! Yes!
I think it should be illegal honestly! I think owning any land should come with responsibility regarding wildlife and drainage but I know people will say you can do whatever you want kn your own land blabla

Bunniemalone · 26/08/2025 20:02

Phoebesparrow · 26/08/2025 18:14

I have a (ex) friend who cannot let things go

I met her at work and we became friends outside of work too

She pleads poverty all the bloody time but will find money for wants but can't afford needs-endless texts moaning about how skint she is,can't even afford dog food or a pint of milk,but wanted a kitten so bought one and will buy crap on temu

But the worst one is she rants on about things from years ago

Ill be minding my own business when I get a message from her,ranting on about her ex (who left her for another woman) 11 years ago

Shes had no contact with him (or her) but I am forced to go over and over it all again and and again (and how she broke another exs nose for no real reason apart from she felt like it,ive never met this guy but i feel i know everything about him)

She shagged a bloke after she broke up with him and from what I can gather,this bloke treated her like a princess but she got the ick and ghosted him

Cue hours,days,weeks,years of going over and over it again and again (the ick seems to have come about because she stayed over at his and he bought her some shampoo and a toothbrush-again,shes picked over this endlessly and by doing that,hes abusive)

Shes shagging another bloke who is messing her about and paying her for sex

Again,endless hours of going over every single tiny detail (he said,she said) and then I see them hand in hand walking down the street the next day,looking all loved up

Hours later,I get the messages again (rinse and repeat)

It's awful but I told her I don't really care anymore,I'm out of energy and have distanced myself from her as I can't keep going over every single thing over and over and she refuses to listen to advice,she just wants to moan but its all the same shit)

I'm a terrible person but I can't keep doing this

You are not a terrible person. You are human & have quite rightly distanced yourself from 'drama' I did similar with a 'ex friend' who judged everyone for been too posh/stuck up/ cleaning obsessed. Where she was normal... Normal is not happily admitting you have never cleaned the kitchen floor in over 10 years, despite having 3 cats that piss & shit randomly everywhere.
Not been able to open the back door as there is recycling piled to the ceiling. Not even owning a toothbrush. Never kept a job for more than a few days, as everyone was mean. Bringing random men home & then complaining that you've got some weird STD. None of it her fault & then when you have ensured she gets Christmas & birthday presents as she had no family... Find she has 2 brothers & a sister! Plus then she can't even be bothered to send a birthday card, but sends a text saying how no one understands how hard it is for her. I just gave up stepped back & haven't heard from her in nearly 2 years. I had no idea how exhausting it was till I just stopped.

PassTheLemonDrizzle · 26/08/2025 20:04

Parents of neurotypical children who have no idea how easy they have it—and still complain about things I can only dream of.

My daughter is non-verbal and autistic. We have to watch everything she does, every second of the day. There are so many challenges I could list, but honestly, I’m too exhausted to even type them out.

It never ends. I’m going to be on high alert for the rest of my life—right up until I drop dead.

BlackSwan · 26/08/2025 20:04

When I order a dessert & it's delivered under a layer of icing sugar.

Revolting. And too late to ask them not to do it. It's never written on the menu though. Really, they should warn (forgetful) people like me.

Childrenare4life · 26/08/2025 20:04

Having taken in someone else's child, as they'd been chucked out of the family home by their crazy narcissistic mother who whinges on about how hard done by she is, I can say that mother's who turn their backs on their children and let a literal stranger support their child really piss me off.

Cherrysoup · 26/08/2025 20:05

LetGoLetThem1234 · 26/08/2025 19:43

Woman I sit next to at work with the fake nails, the sound of them tapping on the keyboard 😱

On the other side of me I have a woman who literally eats all day - 6 packets of crisps, share size M&Ms, 5 pack of doughnuts, 2 rounds of sandwiches, Haribo etc. She's slim so she can, but the constant eating is hard for me who due to a medical condition must not gain weight.

I want to work from home 😂

That’ll catch up with her eventually.

My family member who claims to be a size 12 and reckons she needs to lose a stone. She’s about 4 stone overweight. Why kid yourself?

People who make an offer on Vinted and once agree, ghost you. Why bother?

tooyoungtoopretty · 26/08/2025 20:06

GodSavetheJean · 26/08/2025 19:19

This is like complaining about people using gas heat when they can build a fire. Why shouldnt they use something that can make their life easier - and literally make their life longer?

Show quote history

Well I’m not saying they shouldnt. The thread as something that pisses you off but you can’t say anything

Matsukaze · 26/08/2025 20:06

The use of the phrase "reaching out". Blood pressure instantly rises.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 26/08/2025 20:07

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 26/08/2025 19:54

Why do you sleep in the same bed?

Show quote history

As she is autistic, she is a poor sleeper

I used to sit with her in her bed, with nothing but my thoughts to entertain me, and wait for over 2 hours for her to sleep.

No exaggeration

(I couldn't leave her alone as she wouldnt understand what she is doing there 😭 and would just get up and play)

Sometimes, when I'd done my 2 hours, she'd fall asleep and then wake up as soon as i get up to leave, and walk to my bed

So now, she goes down in bed next to me, I put the soaps on low, have some me screen time with phone on silent, and she falls asleep when she falls asleep. Often in less than an hour, depending on how tired she is 🥰

taxguru · 26/08/2025 20:08

Older people who are sat on levels of savings/wealth purely by sheer luck of the year they were born, who genuinely believe they "earned" it through sheer hard work and making "good" choices, and that all today's younger adults are work shy, lazy and can't buy a house because they have an Iphone and a Netflix subscription! The same elderly people claiming they live in poverty whilst apparently forgetting the half million pound house they live in and a few hundred thousand tucked away in ISAs!

Blueuggboots · 26/08/2025 20:08

My SIL’s totally over the top performative grand parenting. Makes me want to stab her.

my partner often gets into bed, puts a headband (containing earphones) on, turns their back on me and goes to sleep without a word. It’s fucking rude. Just say goodnight ffs?! (I have told them this!!)

Noisy iPads/phones in coffee shops/restaurants/airports. EARPHONES PEOPLE!!!! Don’t bring your kids up to believe it’s acceptable.

I could go on….

Matsukaze · 26/08/2025 20:08

PassTheLemonDrizzle · 26/08/2025 20:04

Parents of neurotypical children who have no idea how easy they have it—and still complain about things I can only dream of.

It never ends. I’m going to be on high alert for the rest of my life—right up until I drop dead.

I see you and I hear you x

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