FIL called me uptight for refusing to drive DC without a car seat

[getoutofmyhead]

We’re on holiday in France at my in-laws house. Yesterday FIL called me uptight because I refused to drive my 5yo to the beach without her car seat. His bright idea was to stick her on a cushion with the seatbelt. 🙄

Obviously a total non-negotiable for me, she doesn’t travel without a proper seat. Since then FIL hasn’t spoken to me despite me smiling out a big « bonjour » at breakfast, DH has now fallen out with him too, and the whole atmosphere is vile.

I’ve kept my head down because I’ll probably say something I regret, but I’m at the point of booking a nearby Airbnb just to save the holiday.

AIBU to think this whole thing is utterly ridiculous?

The OP says, 'Since then FIL hasn’t spoken to me despite me smiling out a big « bonjour » at breakfast'
So she did the smiling. He hasn't responded.

Oh, thats what you get for reading with the sun on your screen!!

Well then OP I would do as suggested and perhaps move to a hotel nearby.

Good for you. Sadly not everyone is as responsible and many people are clueless about current car seat safety.

I've no idea what he thinks and I didn't say he was right. I just think OP could have tried having a reasonable conversation with him. (She might have done this but the tone of her post suggests otherwise...)

My dad wasn't convinced about keeping kids rear facing until age 4. The guidelines for that just didn't exist when I was young. I managed to explain the current research to him without any eye rolling or sarcasm about his "bright ideas". Talking down to people rarely gets a good reaction.

im not sure about rear facing at 4 either as it’s really boring for them.

a side point I realise

Car journeys are boring whichever way you face. They can still see out of the window if rear facing so I don't see it makes much difference. Safety should be your first concern.

So, FIL is now sulking - what about MIL?

"I’ve kept my head down because I’ll probably say something I regret, but I’m at the point of booking a nearby Airbnb just to save the holiday."
Yep, I'd move too. But don't sweat 'saying something' - you might be surprised at how little you'll regret it.

Only in London Black Cabs. Not sure if it even applies to black cabs used outside of London as they have separate licencing systems.

Ignoring child seat laws in France can result in a hefty fine. The standard penalty is €135, but it can reach up to €750, depending on the severity of the offense. More importantly, non-compliance puts your child at risk in the event of an accident.

I'd have thought travelling an hour without a car seat would result in a more severe penalty.

Well you know you aren't uptight and he is a rude idiot, I'd be looking for a hotel.

Not just London black cabs. If it's a registered private hire taxi then there's no requirement for a car seat.
Not perfect to have to sit your 3 year old on your lap but sometimes needs must.
Remember - there's no requirement for car seats on buses, coaches and trains either. And trains can travel much faster than cars.

Fair enough @autumncalling - I was criticising the FIL's attitude.
The OP was probably caught on the hop when they were discussing a there and then journey and in that situation I imagine OP had to just refuse the lift without a car seat.
A calmer conversation could probably take place when it wasn't an immediate journey and there was more time to think about it.

Ugh this sounds exactly like something my FIL would say. He always knew better and undermined my parenting whenever possible.

He’s dead now. Life is immeasurably better.

It's no car seats required for short journeys.... not sure what the law would class as a short journey in time or distance.
We have to use a car seat for DS9 when we taxi to certain hospitals a distance away.

Must be a theme lol my ex in laws did this 16ish years ago

Hahahaha. Snorting on my wine.

I have commented this on other posts… but I have learned my lesson about going on holiday with the laws! All your parenting decisions WILL be judged… for 2 weeks…

Move to an Airbnb. Don’t see why he’s sulking because you wanted to keep your dc safe.

Remember - there's no requirement for car seats on buses, coaches and trains either. And trains can travel much faster than cars.

Train crashed are extremely rare in comparison to RTCs though so that's not comparable.
Seat belts/car seats are the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy.

He’s a prick. Just ignore him and enjoy not having to hear his voice.

Which is why its baffling that they're not required in a taxi in the UK, not sure about other countries

No, all taxis

It would be impossible for every taxi (the type you hail or queue for at stations or order via apps like Uber) to have all the different sizes of car seats available in the car for passengers.
Where would they put them all - they'd completely fill the boot.
Taxi companies that you can pre book for long distance journeys will sometimes provide a car seat if requested.
But the type that drive around all day picking up passengers it's just not practical.
It's not ideal to not have a car seat - but it's up to the parent to decide the risk vs the reason they are using a taxi.

YANBU

FIL needs to wind his neck in

I wouldnt expect the taxi driver or taxi firm to have them, I would expect the parent to have it and use it. Most people without cars but with children still do have car seats because they know they've got to get in other peoples cars from time to time.

If it's a planned in advance journey simply from A to B then parents might provide their own but if it's an unplanned journey (ie coming home from A+E at 3 am) then it's unlikely parents will have one.
The point of taxis that you hail on the street (or Uber) is that they are often for unplanned journeys. It's not exactly practical to be carrying a massive car seat around every time you go out incase you find that you need a taxi unexpectedly.