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Original poster

Partner putting hidden camera in house

74 replies

ivise · 26/08/2025 09:40

Hi , long story short . Me and my partner , my girls dad aren’t doing good in relationships anymore . We aren’t fighting but we aren’t communicating anymore unless it’s about some basic home stuff or our child . Basically roommates . I have been thinking for ages how to break out of this unhealthy situation but financially I can not . The flat is on my name and I feel bad to kick him out .

Anyways , yesterday he said that he has put a camera in the house . That threw me off completely .
His reason was to make sure we are safe . That is so much crap . I got defensive and said that this relationship needs to end asap and that he has lost the plot .
I feel violated. I don’t even know if it’s true or he just wants to get some reaction out of me .
Regardless this was my last straw . I don’t think this is normal behaviour. He didn’t even care to accept that I am not feeling comfortable.
what things can I do ? I want to get out of this situation asap?

OP posts:
Mischance · 26/08/2025 09:42

Is the flat rented in your name or owned?

Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 09:42

@Mischancerented on my name

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 26/08/2025 09:44

Chuck him out, and make sure he takes all his creepy cameras.

Topseyt123 · 26/08/2025 09:44

You dump him. It's your flat so you can get the locks changed while he is out and then don't let him back in again.

Then check the place over and do a thorough sweep for cameras and listening devices (spare phones or tablets behind the furniture etc.).

CuriousKangaroo · 26/08/2025 09:45

I don’t understand your quandary. Just tell him it’s over and he has to leave. I too would feel violated by my partner putting a hidden camera in my home and am not surprised it’s the final straw for you.

Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 09:47

@ShoxfordianI wish I had somewhere to go for like a month and tell him to find somewhere to go . He doesn’t really have anywhere to go . This is the only reason I feel bad to change the locks but same time I don’t and I feel like this was the last straw and it might be the only option left :/ so much stress just before my daughter starting school as well

OP posts:
Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 09:48

I do think he is not telling the truths but even if he was joking this is sick . As he is t telling me otherwise

OP posts:
Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 09:56

@Topseyt123 the thing is I have said to him leave before and stuff but somehow he doesn’t get that the house is on my name and he needs to go . Just because he helped me pay while living there doesn’t mean is his right to stay . I really think he has lost the plot . Like he doesn’t get it

OP posts:
Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 09:56

@Topseyt123 the thing is I have said to him leave before and stuff but somehow he doesn’t get that the house is on my name and he needs to go . Just because he helped me pay while living there doesn’t mean is his right to stay . I really think he has lost the plot . Like he doesn’t get it

OP posts:
Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 09:56

@Topseyt123 the thing is I have said to him leave before and stuff but somehow he doesn’t get that the house is on my name and he needs to go . Just because he helped me pay while living there doesn’t mean is his right to stay . I really think he has lost the plot . Like he doesn’t get it

OP posts:
Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 09:56

@Topseyt123 the thing is I have said to him leave before and stuff but somehow he doesn’t get that the house is on my name and he needs to go . Just because he helped me pay while living there doesn’t mean is his right to stay . I really think he has lost the plot . Like he doesn’t get it

OP posts:
FeedingPidgeons · 26/08/2025 10:00

He doesn't get it because he doesn't want to hear it.

This fucker has told you outright that he is spying on you.

Stop.mucking about and change the locks!

ErrolTheDragon · 26/08/2025 10:09

ivise · 26/08/2025 09:47

@ShoxfordianI wish I had somewhere to go for like a month and tell him to find somewhere to go . He doesn’t really have anywhere to go . This is the only reason I feel bad to change the locks but same time I don’t and I feel like this was the last straw and it might be the only option left :/ so much stress just before my daughter starting school as well

You’ve told him before he needs to go, if he’s not found somewhere else that’s 100% his problem.

JamPotJenny · 26/08/2025 10:10

Did he tell you where he placed it?

it’s actually illegal to place surveillance cameras somewhere where you would expect privacy.

Ask him to remove it immediately. If he persists on claiming that it’s for ‘safety’, demand to see the App he uses to monitor activity and then download the same app.

Ultimately however, he is breaking the law and is proving to be an untrustworthy arsehole.

You must ask him to leave.

ErrolTheDragon · 26/08/2025 10:13

If the cameras were for your safety, he’d have discussed them with you, and would be happy for you to have 100% control of them. Even before you’ve managed to get rid of him you need to make it crystal clear to him he’s totally overstepped your boundaries and either remove them or completely turn over control of them to you.

CountryVic · 26/08/2025 10:15

Just re read, so daughter his also? Ideally he needs to go stay with a mate, pack his gear and end it. And he will need to find his own flat for shared care assuming.

Ratafia · 26/08/2025 10:15

The fact that he has nowhere to go isn't your problem. Give him a week to sort something out, and after that take the first available opportunity to change the locks and pack all his stuff up for him to collect.

Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 10:16

@JamPotJenny no he hasn’t . I think he is lying . It’s still sick to lie about that . I think if he did place its in living room . He didn’t explain anything , just said he has put camera and didn’t respond to my feelings and went to bed . He did mention safety but that is bullshit . I personally think because our relationship is ending he thinks I am cheating or smth .
Overall this is unacceptable and I am so over it . You don’t do things like this before asking your other partner who lives in the house .

OP posts:
99bottlesofkombucha · 26/08/2025 10:18

Op, you change the locks. If he kicks off you call the police.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 26/08/2025 10:19

I think you should phone the police. They’ll be able to check for cameras and help you make him leave. This is absolutely not okay.

Original poster
ivise · 26/08/2025 10:21

@ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine I did mention that I will can police and it looked like he didn’t even care . I was waiting for him to maybe say he is joking

OP posts:
Praying4Peace · 26/08/2025 10:22

Time to set yourself free OP

Lavender14 · 26/08/2025 10:24

Leave him. Contact womens aid for support, report him to the police and change the locks. Your name is on the tenancy do not feel bad about chucking him out. He's brought this on himself by being a creepy abusive arsehole.

Your children will be looking to your relationship as their blueprint for what healthy relationships look like. Your relationship isn't healthy with him so at least have a healthy one with yourself and ditch him so they grow up knowing this isn't normal behaviour.

MissMoneyFairy · 26/08/2025 10:25

Is he on the rental agreement, does the landlord know he's living there, if not you chuck him out, change the locks, call the landlord and the police and ask for a camera sweep.

BrentfordForever · 26/08/2025 10:27

@ivise change your wifi password
cameras won’t work 😉