Page 3 | Shitty text from friend about new boyfriend

latetothefisting · 25/08/2025 21:01

londongirl12 · 25/08/2025 20:47

I read that as in she’ll be on her hands and knees puking into the loo, her husband having to deal with it. I’m clearly naive 😂

not really because there's no obvious link between a woman dancing and what sex position she might participate in later!

I've got quite a dirty sense of humour but his comment was just not funny at all.

WooleyMunky · 25/08/2025 21:03

Moveoverdarlin · 25/08/2025 16:15

Yeah I think you sound uptight. I would have laughed. He made a slightly risqué comment and you made him explain what he meant like a stern school teacher.

He was probably just trying to make a joke.

Yeah, and he's probably always called the corner shop that, it's probably where they are from, so what's the problem?

ANiceWhiteC2H5OH · 25/08/2025 21:15

Well, it wasn't funny, it wasn't witty, it wasn't amusing. You'd have to be a bit shallow to laugh at that.

DisabledDemon · 25/08/2025 21:18

Repulsive. Truly repulsive.

WithOnlyTheMemories · 25/08/2025 21:27

So a woman was out, having a bit of a fun, minding her own business and dancing. A complete and utter stranger felt the need to comment that she would in a particular sexual position as a result? Fucking horrible.

I'd have to be brutally honest with the friend. Say your piece and if she wants to ignore it she can. Maybe it will percolate away and eventually she'll see him for a the sleazy maggot he is.

I honestly can't be doing with folk who feel the need to comment on strangers all night though, especially in a disparaging way. Such an insecure and pathetic pastime.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/08/2025 21:36

fthisfthatfeverything · 25/08/2025 20:43

I’d of laughed, if it bothered me much I’d of left and spoken to said friend in private.

Could you tell us what is funny about it please? I don’t get it.

BluntGreyHawk · 25/08/2025 21:38

Marylou2 · 25/08/2025 16:22

How grim OP. Perhaps I'm uptight but I wouldn't be socialising with someone who said that type of thing. Is this the type of comment your friend would usually find amusing? You definitely weren't OTT and I wouldn't message her again, just to make it clear that the comment was offensive.

Agree.

Onelifeonly · 25/08/2025 22:12

It was just pathetic and sleazy. I'd be so embarrassed if a bf of mine had said such a thing. I'd be contacting my friend to apologise, not haranguing them.

CarpetKnees · 25/08/2025 22:13

Of course YWNBU to say something.

But the fact that the first time he was introduced to his relatively new gf's close friends, he chose to get drunk, and chose to not behave well, also says a lot about him, which hopefully the OP's friend might ponder on, when she's not under his influence in a day or two.

theresnolimits · 25/08/2025 22:24

Well done you for calling him out. Men too often get away with talking about women in this way because women are too embarrassed to push back.

If he thinks that’s showing his best side to a new group, good luck friend.

tuvamoodyson · 25/08/2025 22:31

LittlleMy · 25/08/2025 17:42

So you’d laugh would you if you were dancing and overheard someone say that about you? 🙄

Show quote history

Best to make these kind of crude jokes to people you know would appreciate such crass humour…he was a stranger to OP, they’d only just met. I wouldn’t have appreciated it either and would have asked him to explain what he meant and why he thought I might enjoy this type of ‘joke’

UnintentionalArcher · 25/08/2025 23:18

Mama2many73 · 25/08/2025 17:10

I assume he's had a go at her, about your comments, once they were home which has resulted in her message to you. Well done for standing your ground with her, she prob wasn't expecting it.
I wouldn't spend time with a person like that. I dont think I'm uptight/prudish but I really hate it when people do sexual banter, just not acceptable as others have said 2020 not the 1970s!

I agree. Sexual banter is one thing (inappropriate in many circumstances) even where it doesn’t degrade women, but this is just misogyny. Men who present this as ‘having a laugh’ are usually consciously testing those around them to see what behaviour is acceptable.

@123Bree Sounds like he could be starting on a nasty pattern of behaviour and testing your friend to see how she responds. Her message to you wasn’t on from a purely rational perspective, but taking the bigger picture view is it worth calling or going to see her to express your concern about her and check if she is ok in this relationship? You may not be able to get through to her but people in these situations only get harder to reach as time goes on and their partner gets worse.

Copperoliverbear · 25/08/2025 23:24

You did the right thing, stay away from both of them.

nomas · 25/08/2025 23:28

Men are just never stop being pigs, do they.

Amybelle88 · 25/08/2025 23:44

It’s not something I’d find funny, it would make me cringe tbh but if he was drunk I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just pissed and nervous about meeting?

Netcurtainnelly · 26/08/2025 00:41

123Bree · 25/08/2025 16:00

One of my friends has a new Boyfriend who we met for the first time yesterday (myself and DP).

We went to a local pub where they had a bank holiday event on, a DJ and BBQ etc.

Her Bf seemed a nice guy to begin with, but got progressively drunk as the afternoon progressed. He started making a few comments, mainly commenting on other people in the bar where we were sat and also outside as we were looking over the garden where the DJ was.

A woman was stood up from her table and dancing. The Bf said that he bets she will be on all fours tonight. I asked what he meant. He said her partner will be in for a good night. I said that’s a strange thing to assume from someone dancing and he mumbled a reply.

We left soon after (it was reaching the time we said we’d go anyway).

My friend messaged me last night asking why I created an atmosphere and that I was being uptight(!) to have said that to him when he was just having a laugh. I replied to say I found the comment offensive and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. She read the message and hasn’t replied.

Was I OTT to say something?!

No you were right he sounds awful.

Ask her why he has to get drunk and comment on women negatively.

Netcurtainnelly · 26/08/2025 00:44

Amybelle88 · 25/08/2025 23:44

It’s not something I’d find funny, it would make me cringe tbh but if he was drunk I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just pissed and nervous about meeting?

No need to get pissed just because your meeting up with people you don't know.
Hasn't done himself any favour's has he.

kkloo · 26/08/2025 01:21

Did your friend hear what happened or did he tell her afterwards?

If he just made an error in judgement when he made the stupid comment he'd be embarrassed afterwards and he'd be more concerned with thinking he'd made a bad first impression, but if he's gone back to her moaning about it then that's a major red flag on top of making the stupid comment in the first place.

RampantIvy · 26/08/2025 01:47

Moveoverdarlin · 25/08/2025 16:15

Yeah I think you sound uptight. I would have laughed. He made a slightly risqué comment and you made him explain what he meant like a stern school teacher.

He was probably just trying to make a joke.

Oh look. The boyfriend is here

No, the OP was not uptight. The remark was immature and not at all funny.

@123Bree good for you for calling him out.

thepariscrimefiles · 26/08/2025 05:57

Moveoverdarlin · 25/08/2025 16:15

Yeah I think you sound uptight. I would have laughed. He made a slightly risqué comment and you made him explain what he meant like a stern school teacher.

He was probably just trying to make a joke.

It wasn't even a joke. It was a rude and sexist comment. If he was a long-standing boyfriend and the people he was with were comfortable with this sort of sexist unfunny 'banter', fair enough but normally people in new relationships try and make a good impression when meeting their partner's friends and family for the first time.

Original poster

123Bree · 26/08/2025 16:45

She did eventually reply to me, but just doubled down. She has had to ‘assure him I do have a sense of humour normally’ and that I’m not a prude usually. As if it was about ME needing to make a good first impression rather than him!

OP posts:

BMW6 · 26/08/2025 16:50

I'd have to tell her to get to fuck......

SamphiretheTervosaur · 26/08/2025 16:56

She's in for fun

I had a BIL like that. He managed to turn every occasion of family and friends into a Kev Watch. Trying to prevent him being so obnoxious he actually got beaten. SIL defended him, it was everyone else being uptight, "It's only Keveee"

After 40 years she left him for being an alcoholic

He died alone last year. Sadly nobody really mourned his passing. To the point he is still under my desk!

Do try to be there for your friend. Hopefully she will see it before its too late

Iwasphotoframed · 26/08/2025 17:02

123Bree · 26/08/2025 16:45

She did eventually reply to me, but just doubled down. She has had to ‘assure him I do have a sense of humour normally’ and that I’m not a prude usually. As if it was about ME needing to make a good first impression rather than him!

I’m not a big believer in calling people out because people rarely find shame motivational and typically double down but I would be giving both of them a wider berth.

To be honest your friend is nearly worse with her dismissive, patronising and downright obnoxious behaviour towards her friends.

Amybelle88 · 26/08/2025 21:43

@Netcurtainnellyeveryone is different - sometimes people use it as a mechanism to relax. I don’t drink, so it’s not coming from experience but I understand that not everybody is like me.