Husband refuses to help clean

[PerfectlyRightMum]

Me and hubby are about to have our first baby together. Our plan is that I'm going to be taking a year off work and have started mat leave early.

We agreed that as he works full time and I'll be off, it's my responsibility to buy, clean and prepare the baby bits and the house, so we're ready when the time comes. I'm happy with this arrangement. I love to clean, however, I'm currently 7 months pregnant and have really started to get into the nesting phase.

I'm really struggling with cleaning the bathroom and hunching over the bath.
Hubby is refusing to help wash out the bath for me, my back is killing me.
I've looked online and some people suggest using a mop, but ours is one of those Vileda ones and it can be quite heavy when it's all wet.

Am I being unreasonable because I'd like him to wash out the bath, even though we did fairly agree that I would do all the cleaning because I'm not working?

If I am being unreasonable, please give me some tips.

Oh goody, another entitled bellend who actually genuinely believes he deserves an easier and more restful life after becoming a father. Lining up those ducks like a pro, ready to grind OP into the ground forevermore.

This isn’t a true partnership. Send him back to his mum if he wants to be looked after like a child and not pull his weight, especially when you are struggling, like a decent adult partner would do.

You are growing an entire human inside your body. What kind of pathetic man won’t help in your situation?

Ffs stop referring to him doing things in the gaff he lives in as 'helping.'

Every fucking day there’s a woman on here who’s managed to tie herself to a shitty man.

Every. Single. Day.

It’s an epidemic.

Grrrr this was meant to be quoting another a PP!

This, put your feet up and do NOTHING for him. He sounds horrible. You need to have a proper discussion over division of labour as looking after a baby is a full time job, especially in the early days. You will need some help. My DH did most of the cleaning when I was heavily pregnant (high risk pregnancy) and we ended up with a cleaner for a little while when our twins were tiny as he worked long hours and I was knackered. We were lucky that we could afford to do that as it made such a difference.

What will he do if you have complications? What a completely selfish man, refusing to help and support his pregnant partner is showing you who he is and what’s to come!

Get a cleaner.

When they suggest using a mop I'm assuming that's to smack him round the head with

Why are you having a baby with such a horrible nasty man? This will only get worse

My DH wouldn’t even let me in the house when we moved when I was almost 6 months pregnant because he didn’t want me getting ill from the fumes of cleaning products and he knew I wouldn’t settle until the new house was scrubbed from too to bottom. Your husband sounds like a selfish prick, I would be very careful about how your future relationship is going to be managed.

As for the bath cleaning, I have chronic health issues and struggle bending, we have a shower over our bath in the main bathroom, I spray it a few mins before getting in then use one of the scrubbing sponges with handles with washing up liquid in.

I mean at this stage I would probably just show him this thread. If he realises he has been an arse, job done, if not. I am sorry you like thousands of others have been tricked by a guy who acted like you were a team until he actually had to step up. I hope that it's the first one for you

Why is this always people's response? like it's some how the women's fault. Plenty of men act like they will be great family men until they have to put their money where there mouth is and make personal sacrifices for the good of their partner and child. It's hard enough to deal with without people acting like it's the women's failing, not the man's.

Oh OP you are going to be so miserable when the baby comes. Selfish man :(

@AlliWantIsARoomSomewheeeere because we all have read enough of these bastard threads to know it’s rare that a man does a complete 180 out of the blue.

Yes, they hide elements, yes they can get worse during pregnancy, but more often than not we have a woman with her head in the sand.

It’s never the woman’s fault a man is abusive, but pretending it wasn’t obvious he was going to treat you badly when all the signs were there doesn’t help anyone.

You both sound ridiculous - he should step up, you shouldn’t have promised something impossible when pregnant. Get a cleaner

He's pulling this shit when you're still on the full pay portion of your mat leave?

Don't be surprised when he acts like an even bigger tosser when he is the big man making the bigger financial contribution. You're in for a shitty ride.

And give your head a wobble at the idealistic tosh you've just signed up for. He works "full time" so you've volunteered at 7 months pregnant to clean up after him when he has taken on zero extra responsibility. And I bet you're still paying the same as before. So now you pay the same AND you have extra duties. He pays the same and has less duties because you've voluntarily taken them off his plate at 7 months pregnant 🤦‍♀️ and even though he's doing less than before, he won't "help" you. And he didn't even have to sell this fantastic idea to you, did he, because you have the same vision: you both want to take care of him.

You're going to find it even harder on no sleep and a newborn hanging off you 24/7 you married a right gem there didn't you

OP, are you having a complicated pregnancy and that’s why you have started mat leave at 7 months? If so, his attitude is even worse!!