MIL bathing habits

[Bitesize89]

My in laws come to stay with us pretty frequently and I've noticed over time that mil never bathes when she comes. She can be here 3-4 days without a shower or bath. It recently was revealed that she only ever uses baths and no soap in her bath. This came up after she bagged my DD and didn't use any soap on her and she said well there was bubble bath in the water, I was shocked as I don't think that's a proper way to bathe and she said when she bathes she doesn't use soap and only bubble bath. So not only does she not bathe for days on and but when she bathes she just has a bubble bath and no soap.im really grossed out.

Many people had to do that in the past because there was no other option, very little inside plumbing other than a sink and baths had to be filled by boiling kettle after kettle after kettle of water. Toilets were often outside and/or shared. That's not just 'a British thing', it's a historical thing. People still have to do this in some countries.

I expect it was. My mum was born in 1918 and had a daily bath all her life until she was really old.

Once a week are ya?

I think it's more weird you're wondering about her bathing habits....so much so you're posting them on the internet. Thats white odd behaviour I think

Some people with sensitive skin can’t tolerate frequent showers/baths. It might suit their skin better to leave a few days in between. Washing armpits daily and applying antiperspirant is a must

It's not offensive to discuss cultural norms.

Would you same the same about toilets that are holes in the ground and cultures that defecate standing up over one?

It’s 2025. Do these people still send correspondence by carrier pigeon?

Also, here’s NHS advice. https://www.devonsexualhealth.nhs.uk/your-sexual-health/genital-hygiene-our-tips/

TLDR: don’t soap your vag

The MIL has announced how often she bathes. if someone is telling you, how can you ignore it?

A bath by candlelight was a lovely experience? You obviously had a lot more hot water than we did.
Even before the powercuts, we had a bath once a week. I'm from a big family. Leisurely bathing was not a thing. Coal couldn't be wasted.
This was the same for all my classmates.
It was only when I went to university that I had a shower, and met people who showered or bathed more than once a week.

That’s a wealth matter, not an age matter. I grew up in a working class household in the 80s and I didn’t know anyone that could afford to heat a bath of water every day. You had a flannel wash every day, and a bath maybe twice a week. Things had changed a fair bit by the 90s though.

Yes, it's 2025, but many people who grew up doing this are still alive and kicking, and possibly see no reason to change it. 🫣

Many people had to do that in the past because there was no other option, very little inside plumbing other than a sink and baths had to be filled by boiling kettle after kettle after kettle of water. Toilets were often outside and/or shared. That's not just 'a British thing', it's a historical thing. People still have to do this in some countries.

You are talking about almost 100 years ago.

If you must know, my own parents had no running hot water, a bath, or an inside toilet when they married and indeed until I was a toddler.

Things have changed.

I think you're too invested in something private that is not your business, and frankly it comes across as a little bit odd.

First of all, beliefs and prejudices about the appropriate frequency of taking an actual bath or shower are cultural. When I lived in the USA as a child, the Americans I knew all showered once a day and had firm suspicions, although many were too polite to voice them, that Europeans maybe didn't always bother and therefore were insufficiently hygienic. But my new best friend at school was Brazilian, and privately informed me that Americans were dirty because they only shower once a day whilst Brazilians shower three times a day. Your MIL would be really busy keeping up (and probably you too).

Anti-bubble bath prejudices are just misinformed, like thinking someone isn't clean because they use shower gel instead of bar soap.

No. But I find it weird that you would make such value judgements about people’s intimate hygiene without knowing anything about them.

Eczema is not a moral failing.

You weren't discussing "cultural norms".
You were clearly being critical of the "British" and alleged bathing habits.
I have no wish to discuss the other toilet habits you refer to. Perhaps start another thread on that.

'Eczema is not a moral failing.'

Refusing to wash your flaps is.

Yes, you're correct. As per normal MN entitlement is showing. From the age of 2 we did have an internal bathroom and GCH/boiler, but we didn't have baths every day and we didn't have a shower at all growing up (we had one of those silly attachments that used to fall off). I'm not actually that old, nor were we particularly poor. 👍

Meh I think it’s yucky but I’m presuming she doesn’t actually smell bad or you’d have lead with that? I could never get away with no showering every day but some people can. Of course some people can’t get away with it but still don’t but that’s another issue.

Which part of the UK was that?

I grew up in a working class family but we had central heating by the early 1970s and an immersion heater too.

By the 1980s I was working, married and had children.

This, absolutely.
It's about wealth and class.

No, I'm most certainly not talking about almost 100 years ago (unless I'm actually close to 100.....which I'm definitely not).

Utter nonsense.

Unless you were living in extreme poverty, fuel/utility was cheaper than today.

See my post above.

You shouldn’t use soap on them, a rinse with water is more than enough.

I’m not giving myself thrush just to keep you happy love.

Well my parents would be almost 100 now and they did not live like that beyond the 1940s.