Baby - MIL - XL Bully

[Koala98]

MIL has an XL Bully at her house, AIBU to say baby can never visit while the dog is on the property even if shut in a different room or garden?

What does your DP think? I hope he agrees with you otherwise he might take your baby there on his own.

As others have said, I wouldn’t be taking my child to her home, she can come to you …. Without the dog of course! I love dogs, have a Samoyed who is completely friendly and always has been the 3.5 years we’ve had her but I’d never let her near a baby or younger child - you never k ow what may set the dog off - probably 99.9% of the time nothing but it’s that fraction of a worry that means you don’t mix the two.
and for goodness sake, make sure you get childcare if you’re going back to work that doesn’t include her as you’ll end up having to bend your boundaries

I agree with you. A family member of ours had three XL bullies, and I told my husband he could never take our children to a family gathering if family member was there with their dogs - my husband agreed anyway.

As a dog owner, I totally agree.

I assume it's registered and has to be muzzled in public.

Most dog bites happen in the home.

I am going to stick my neck out and say responsible dog owner and XL Bully owner are an oxymoron. With 95% of posters suggesting the same.

Not unreasonable at all. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near an XL Bully so there’s no way in hell I would want my child near one

MIL used to have a nippy little dog and I didn’t allow it around my kids when they were babies. Not worth the risk because even a small nip can make a child scared of dogs for life. My brother was terrified of dogs for years after my nan’s terrier chased him and bit him. With little dogs, it’s more about small injuries and creating fear, but with a dog like that it could be much much worse.

Do not allow your kids round it, and to be honest I don’t think I’d go near it either. Hope your DH supports you on this one.

I won't go into details as frankly am only just out of trauma incident management but I'm a police officer and was first on scene at the death of a child at the hands of an XL Bully last year. I will never forget it and your MIL is a fool.

With particular emphasis on the "moron" part.

If she wants to see your child then she should visit at your home. As your child gets older he/she could open a door and come into contact with the dog. It’s not worth the risk.

I’d have her visit you, my child would never be going to her home. Ever.

That’s what I think. Always had dogs but I wouldn’t dream of visiting any home with that breed. I wouldn’t want my baby anywhere near it, nor anyone else in my family.

A jack Russell could, in theory, kill a child yes. But the bite drive is completely different.
A quick Google shows there is one case of JR killing a child, in 2013.
In 2024 ALONE, XL were responsible for at least 3 deaths, one of a 10 year old girl.
I hate Jr's but let's not be naieve.
The huge difference is a JR will bite/snap and release almost immediately, with a jaw of PSI of 150–200 PSI (pounds per square inch), which is comparable to the bite force of a human.
An XL Bully, and breeds such as Pitbulls etc, bite down and SHAKE. They don't let go. In comparison, XL's have a bite force of around 305 PSI. This is a significant bite force, comparable to some wild animals and considerably stronger than the average dog bite.

Please read into the breeding of these monstrous creatures and their blood line and don't make this comparison again.

I love dogs frequently more than people but no chuffing way would I be taking MYSELF into a confined space with an XL Bully, let alone an infant.

And I don't care how 'responsible' the owner supposedly is - I doubt 7 men could drag one of those animals off you if it the red mist came down.

Good grief. That must have been awful for you. I hope you’re ok.

Nope. Wouldn’t be there myself. A family member m was attacked by a vicious dog at another family member’s home. They had been told the dog was locked away but it got free. She’s scarred for life. Not worth the risk.

No no and more no.
An entry level Google will quickly highlight that many of these XL attacks happen after the dog has escaped from whichever property it had been confined in. As other posters have said, I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of entering her home myself, let alone taking any of my children there. Her choice to own one of these animals would also lead me to question her ability to make safe decisions related to my baby and I would be very cautious about leaving your child in her care in the future.

Also, my dog can open doors with handles and I’m sure she isn’t the only one! She is less successful with doors that have doorknobs though on account of the lack of thumb 😆

@Koala98 Who thinks you are being unreasonable in real life? Is it your husband?

Sorry for snooping but in another thread you suggested that your husband has difficulty saying no to his parents.

You may say that; I couldn't possibly comment.

I wouldn't set foot in the house never mind take a child there. And I am someone whose parents breed dogs and who grew up with literally dozens of dogs in and out of the house.

I would be extremely worried about my MIL being around my child alone if she thought having my child at her home with her XL was ok.

Definitely not unreasonable. In fact it would be insane to risk it

So sorry , this must have been unimaginably distressing.

I am so sorry you had to face that. Any child death is grim, but one from a dog mauling must be particularly traumatic.