How do you forget how many drinks you have had on a night out?

[forevergrateful1]

My boyfriend has went out I posted about this not too long ago. He said he couldnt leave and when he did another drink would be brought for him. I asked how many he has and he can’t remember the exact number but it wasn’t many and he’s not drunk.

if you didn’t have much to drink how would you not remember how much you had ? Is this normal to forget all the time

He may not feel the effects, but its likely to be over the safe limit. Maybe significantly.

https://www.drinkdriving.org/bac-calculator.php

Absolutely unacceptable to drink any alcohol and drive. 3-4 drinks is over the limit. I would be calling the police.

If he’s drunk driving, and two is the limit in England, and maybe even one depending on what it is, then I’d be calling the police on him if he attempted to get behind the wheel. I’m really struggling that your question is why doesn’t he remember and not the very huge he’s drunk driving.

I stopped reading at “My boyfriend has went out…”

Did he drive home when he was in that state last week?

No last week he didn’t

How can you not know that 3-4 drinks is over the limit? He is special so it's not over the limit for him? You don't care about his driving or the people he might kill on the way home, you just want him at home with you. Raise your bar and stop dating this absolute scumbag.

I don't count my drinks. I would think most people wouldn't count them unless they had some issues that meant it needed to be monitored. This expectation of him counting drinks and needing to tell you how many he had sounds controlling.

Did you miss the bit about not knowing then driving?

3 or 4 drinks is definitely over the limit. And he’s likely having more and putting lives at risk.

Id say one drink early in the night so it’s mostly metabolised might be ok in England.

In Scotland, where I am, it’s lower so nobody I know has anything to drink at all if they are driving and it’s brilliant, there’s no grey area, you just say “ I’m driving” and there’s never any pressure to even have one drink.

I have never said I condone him drinking while driving. And I agree it is very dangerous. I genuinely don’t know how many is over the limit as I don’t drink

I’ve told him and said my part I do have feelings for him so it’s hard to just tell him to get lost

That’s the issue then, not him being able to remember how many. Why not just say that first off?

He clearly had too many to drive. Which is appalling.

Is he back? Did he drive?

??? I don’t count!
Im either drinking or not drinking (if driving).
If I’m drinking I just drink, not count. I can feel when I’ve had enough without needing a number.

Aw, come on. Hardly necessary.

At least he didn’t drive in that state then. However if he’s been out had 3-4 drinks and the had rum and drove home last night then he would have been over the limit. He’s presumably a grown up so if he knew he was driving he should have turned the drinks down and told them he’s driving instead of giving in to peer pressure.
Back to your original question I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not know how many drinks you’ve had if you’ve been out drinking. But he is unreasonable (in fact more than unreasonable) to be driving and not keeping count

If you’re aware he’s driving drunk then you should address it or call the police - having lost a close friend to a drunk driver it’s disgusting that you haven’t

But what does it matter exactly how many drinks he had? As long as he wasn't driving in which case only one or less.

Surely it makes no difference if he had four or seven. If you're concerned he was late then he was obviously enjoying himself, lingering and didn't want to come home yet.

The number of drinks is irrelevant. Someone could nurse two pints over three hours, someone else could drink three in an hour.

OP if he is coming home so drunk he is vomiting and can’t get up for work, you must know he is way over the limit whether you drink yourself or not.

It doesn’t really matter if he is getting in that state on one drink or twenty, he is obviously far too drunk to drive.

After 4 I stop counting.

Really over 1 could be over the limit. You can get breathalysers for home which although not perfectly accurate can give you an idea if you’re still over in the morning. I don’t drive so don’t have to worry about this sort of thing but I know people use them a lot at Christmas when they have maybe drank more than they normally would the evening before.

You should have included this in the OP as this is the main issue - the fact he’s drink driving!! That is absolutely your business. I couldn’t be with someone who did this.

No need to feel overwhelmed. It’s a simple matter of right vs wrong.
(It’s also a matter of accuracy, as any GP would attest. As a rule, a declared 3 or 4 pints is in reality at least 6, so start from there and weigh up whether you’d ever sit in the passenger seat with this waster. Get rid now, before there’s a pregnancy to make you drop your main objections.)

If I were you I'm be dumping him. Threw up over the bathroom, apparently tries to hide how much he's drinking instead of just saying like a normal adult, drives when he's had alcohol, you have to try to wake him up the next day as he has work?! Extremely unattractive, I think you can do better. Much better.

He could be drinking alcohol free beer.