To have one small glass of red wine at 38 weeks pregnant?

[baby2c]

I’m not a drinker at all but DH gets a bottle of red once or twice a month and tonight I really fancy just a very small glass, I’m a weirdo (according to DH) who likes ice in red wine on the rare occasion I have it. DH is only having one glass just in case I was to go into labour and he had to drive to hospital. So I was thinking of having a tiny amount with some ice and enjoying sipping it whilst watching tv in my pjs however I’m not sure if this is totally out of order or reasonable? Would you? Or did you? I haven’t touched alcohol at all since finding out I am pregnant at 4 weeks.

Really it would be safest if pregnant women just stayed at home until giving birth wouldn't it? Whilst eating only a strictly approved food list. Perhaps a treadmill for gentle (again, strictly approved) exercise.

Ah, but most deaths occur at home, so it's clear that pregnant women should go out...

If this is your first baby, you're about to find out how much that will apply to every decision you make from here on in. People have a heck of a lot of opinions on how other people ought to parent and it's not improved by the number of parents going around making spectacularly stupid choices and giving support to the concept that parents (read: mothers) require constant scrutiny and correction.

If you want my advice- which you probably don't, but it won't stop me or anyone else from giving it- read what you can from reliable, unbiased sources (as opposed to "Book claiming to have all the answers by someone calling themselves a parenting expert") to be as informed as possible, make your own choices based on that and ignore everyone else.

I agree with this.
I love mumsnet, but I wouldn't come here for parenting advice.

I'm glad you clarified by adding mothers. In contrast, every time the baby's father does the bare minimum in terms of parenting there will be people proclaiming him to be father of the year. Just the way it is unfortunately.

I would and did!

i drank like a glass of wine a week in my pregnancy 🤷🏻‍♀️ even a couple actually. It would take serious drinking in pregnancy to result in FAS.
also ate sushi, drank coffee, smoked salmon etc etc
also breastfed having drank and smoked
baby was absolutely fine
not saying this to encourage it, I don’t recommend doing what I did but just to say it does happen.
Im still not wholly convinced that many rules for pregnant women isn’t just the patriarchy thinking our bodies are public property and comes under the banner of intensive mothering ideology
either way, you need to be informed on the risk, then decide for yourself whether to take that risk.

Absolutely. But the response to this being pointed out is usually fingers in ears and/or how very dare you- I've seen what happened when you've made this point previously! People have some strange double standards.

If you own a car then you'd obviously use it. Selfishly choosing to drink alcohol is avoidable but she's done it anyway.

also ate sushi, drank coffee, smoked salmon etc etc

You smoked a salmon? Hard-core. 🚬

But that's no kind of answer. If you own a car, you don't have to use it for unnecessary journeys when you're pregnant. You choose to take that risk.

People have a totally warped attitude to risk

The tendency of society - most societies around the world - to believe that women's behaviour and freedoms are up for being controlled (in a way that doesn't apply to men) is very depressing. The fact that many women facilitate and perpetuate this control is even more depressing

My mum had a watered down whisky when she was 38 weeks with me. It was Hogmanay and she asked the doctor first who confirmed it was fine. That whisky did absolutely nothing to me.

Not comparable, if you own a car then of course you'd use it for longer distances. If walkable then yes you wouldn't need to use it. Nothing to do with selfishly choosing to drink/smoke etc when pregnant.

Of course it's comparable. Every time you use your car when you didn't strictly have to, that an unnecessary risk you're taking. Just as 'selfish' as having one small drink.

'Selfish' in inverted commas there, as managing tiny risks are just part of life.

Lmao saw this coming a mile off!

Not at all comparable.

You continuing to say that doesn't make it true.

Lets look at what's being compared ...

Two, not strictly necessary acts, that the mother has a desire to do.

In both cases there is an minuscule chance it could harm the baby. So yes, comparable.

Yes, but the person you're talking to probably did take unnecessary and avoidable car journeys when pregnant, which obviously means it must be a more morally acceptable risk.

Not comparable at all, all a difference of opinion though and she did what she wanted to in the end anyway.

You aren't making an argument WHY it isn't comparable though. You're just repeating the same phrase over and over.

I'm not commenting to make an argument, I gave my opinion and others have a different opinion which is fine. OP got different responses and did it anyway so there's no point writing essays back and for on people's differing opinions is there?

Writing essays back and forth on differing opinions is pretty much the point of AIBU though...

And in this particular case, the opinion being talked about is a double standard.

Each to their own but I don't think most people have the time to repeatedly comment essays for hours over a differing opinion. I accept yours is different and I stand by mine.