To think that most people aren’t as good at keeping secrets as they think they are?

[WaryPinkGuide]

I feel like everyone says they’re ‘great’ at keeping secrets but when it comes down to it, I often find out that people just can’t help but spill the beans. Anyone else think that people overestimate their ability to keep things to themselves?

People are good at keeping secrets about themselves, and ones that paint them in a bad light. Not so much when it's about someone else's life and doesn't directly reflect on them or their behaviour.

A lot of people think prefixing a spilling of the beans with:

"I shouldn't really be telling you this, but..." or,

"Promise not to tell anyone else, but..."

Means they aren't breaking the secret.

They also think it doesn't count if they tell their husband everything, even if it's something really personal to you that you wouldn't dream of talking to their husband about.

Information is power.

What is told cannot be untold.

If you don't tell someone something, then they can't use that thing against you.

When you tell someone a secret you need to ask yourself what you gain from doing so. Frequently it is absolutely nothing. The risk from telling people secrets can often be very high. Yet for the person who is told the secret, often they have little risk to themselves in exposing it to other people in order to gain more secrets - ie gossip.

I've known a few people who don't seem to be able to keep their mouths shut about literally anything. Most of them come to regret taking that position at some point, normally when their relationships with the people they told the secrets to breaks down and their secrets become public knowledge.

I think I'm pretty good at keeping secrets. There are things I've been told that are now no longer secrets but I have never discussed them with anyone or let on that I already knew something.

I think people say they are good at keeping secrets because they want to hear the gossip. I hate it when people tell me secrets because I will keep them and it feels like a burden, I'd rather not know.