Helping a Desperate Young Woman

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Not really a "AIBU" but I am unsure where to put this for the most traffic and I truly want to help this young family - please stay with me for this long message. The people in question are unable to post this as they don't want to be outed.

I am writing on here to ask if anyone has any advice or experience in being made homeless. | am asking for a very good friends daughter and her 3 children. She was given notice 3 months ago to vacate the house she rents and has done for the last 7 years, both with her ex-partner and latterly, on her own with the children. The Landlord said he was selling it but we suspect because of the new Landlord / Tenant Act which is due but no proof.

She has since been unable to find a private let because they are all asking for a guarantor who has an income of £52,000+, despite having impeccable references. She also has a deposit of around £1500. Unfortunately the Estate Agents have been unable to help her

The LA have been useless, despite making all the right noises - coos and lots of "I'm so sorry" etc but no actual help. She was basically told to sit tight until the bailiffs came because if she does anything else, she was making herself homeless. She can't possibly do this with 3 children as they would be so frightened. She has also had to put all her furniture in storage as the Landlord wants the keys by the weekend and she has had to abide or lose her deposit. What an absolute nonsense piece of advice to give a single mum with 3 children 10 years and under! Even wrote to our MP who just reiterated everything the LA has told her. She has been told she cannot bid for a council house for at least 12 weeks. Her mother is a single lady, (my BF) aged 73, pensioner who only has her pension available to her. She cannot put them up as the LA have said, again, they won't help if she has somewhere to stay, despite the fact that her mother would lose her single occupancy and UC if she allows her daughter and 3 children to stay. The LA said they may put her in a hotel but couldn't tell her where - they said it could be in the next county! These children have school to go to when the new term starts. She could end up in a hotel full of illegal single males on her own with 3 children. How ridiculous

She has dragged herself up over the last few years since her partner left, even starting her own business which is keeping her head above water - for now.

The children's father is refusing to help. They were not married and the money he gave her was not ordered by court order, so a Landlord will not accept this as a guaranteed part of her income. He has now married, taken on 2 step children and, because of this, the CSA have reduced her payments by around £70 PM. (He contacted the CSA when she asked for a little help to find a new property as rents had increased considerably - we know he hasn't be truthful to them but have no proof - he has played a blinder and is now controlling everything.

Her father is no longer in her life

She has to hand over the keys to her present house on Sunday and has no idea what she is going to do. She is scared, frightened and broken. The children are very upset and this is affecting them in ways I won't describe on here. Her mother is beside herself, crying and also broken - this is her daughter and her grandchildren

And yes, I will say it - Illegal Migrants are housed as soon as they arrive in this Country, given all the help and assistance they require - even giving them money and driving lessons, - hotels in Swindon full of them and yet this poor girl is getting no help at all until she is on the streets - and then the most basic of assistance.

If you can help with any advice or if anyone has been through similar and can help with their experiences, then please do let me know. I will print out all responses for her so that she can follow up as many tips as you may have

Thanks for taking the time to read through this. I am so angry

Yes, men of all colours are perverts. Men of all colours behave worse in crowds.

I can understand women of all ages not being happy at being ogled or harassed by men of any colour but this perception that migrants are all basically paedophiles is ridiculous.

I'm not being funny but surely it's obvious that if she wants help from somewhere (council) she should follow what they say she needs to do?!

Your friend needs to stay put. Bailiffs don't randomly show up, that wouldn't be legal. The landlord would get a possession order. Once that expires and your friend is still there, landlord needs to go back to court to get permission to evict. Then they will set a date for bailiffs and your friend would be notified.The council will then probably help her. There is a process, she doesn't need to worry about bailiffs showing up and scaring the kids.

take a break from Facebook lol maybe spend time in real life

Behave yourself with this asylum seeker nonsense. Firstly your assertions about your local area being packed with them are demonstrably incorrect. Secondly she would not be housed in a hotel that has been set up for this purpose.

Your friend has been told what she must do in order to receive help - Not hand the keys back and remain in her property until the legal process runs it course. The eviction process would not have to be upsetting for her children as she could arrange for them to be elsewhere for the actual eviction, which presumably she would be complying with anyway, so it's not like there would be any confrontation.

Yes, she would likely lose her deposit. No, it isn't fair. Unfortunately she has no other options - She's unable to look after herself/her children, and as a country we're woefully under resourced. The govt can only prioritise people who have nowhere else to go. Your daughter currently has a roof over her head, she really shouldn't jeopardise that by giving the keys back.

Once she has the confirmed date for bailiffs she should take that evidence to the Council.

wouldn't waste the facts on the op she just wants fb to tell her the narrative lol

Just to echo everyone else. She has to stay put. Bailiffs won't rock up at the weekend. The landlord should be expecting this anyway, and the process will take some time.
She HAS to stay put. As awful as it may be. If everything is in storage anyway. It makes life easier when the high court do come knocking. If she hands over those keys at the weekend she's on her own, indefinitely. She'll be lucky to get a room in a bedsit in the next county.
If she hands over those keys, she will be up the creek without a paddle. You can say it's awful, and id agree, but that's the system. She stays put and continues to pay rent. There will not be a CCJ if no money owed.
If she is going to eventually be home by the LA, a landlords reference is irrelevant.
I rent and I live in constant fear of this happening, so I have done lots of research should the worst happen.

Do you know how many people rely on the private rental market because it’s absolutely impossible for them to buy their own property? For many people, it wouldn’t matter if they had 7 years or 700 years, they won’t EVER be in a position to buy their own home.

Even if ‘setting in place a Plan B’ might involve having some money saved in order to be able to quickly rent another property, that’s not the answer to housing instability that continues year-on-year. And nor should it be. People on low incomes experience housing inequality on a massive scale and it, quite literally, ruins lives and keeps them trapped in a never-ending cycle of hardship.

I’m so sorry. No advise to offer but she (and her mother and children) will be in my
prayers tonight.

Well yes of course. The idea that all men are pedophiles is ridiculous. But it isn't very nice having an influx of unknown blokes into your neighborhood trust me, as cited in my original comment.

This.

And I’ll also add to this that the rental market now (at least where we are) is such that even if you have your deposit etc ready to go for a new rental, you still have to jump through hoops that not many people can meet. Lots where we are now require a guarantor who is a home owner AND also earns above a certain salary- even if you had the money to offer to pay 6 months upfront rent you’d still be turned away if you couldn’t provide that guarantor.

I also wouldn't start comparing your friend to asylum seekers. Yes she is in a very stressful situation but she has a home which she currently has the legal right to occupy. That's a lot better position to be in than being put up in a hotel. Hotel accommodation is no home for a child. Councils use them as a last resort. Hopefully once she does have to seek assistance from the council she and her children will be put into temporary accommodation rather than a hotel. Living in Temporary Accommodation is often very difficult but it's better than a hotel, which is really not a suitable home for months or years on end.

When this has happened at the school I work at, the family worker has been able to contact LA housing. Is there anyone at the children’s school who could help - email the admin account to check. Do any of the children have special needs, if so this will add more weight to the support they should receive.

"And yes, I will say it - Illegal Migrants are housed as soon as they arrive in this Country, given all the help and assistance they require - even giving them money and driving lessons, - hotels in Swindon full of them"

Shame on you for spreading these lies. Asylum seekers are not illegal. They are seeking asylum. They are not "housed" (with the implication that they are given permanent housing). They are placed in temporary accommodation. Those in hotels get £8.86 a week. They do not get given driving lessons: where did you get that bit of nonsense? Asylum seekers are not responsible for your friend's problems.

As long as she keeps paying her rent on time and keeps the property in good order she will not get a CCJ or lose her deposit.

She needs to stay where she is for now.

op got the info from Facebook which is obviously the fountain of all knowledge lol

She needs to keep the keys and wait for the court order. The LA won't make her wait until the balifs actually come to the house, they will accommodate them when the court order for balifs is served. Hotels for families are a last resort, it does happen but not often, they're more likely to be put in temporary homeless accommodation. It could take a good few months for the court order which does give more time for another rental to be found. It's a shit process but that is the process unfortunately.

Where have you been getting your information from ? the lady about to be evicted or her mother / your friend.

Why would she be handing back her keys this weekend - is that when her notice period ends

has the landlord actually started eviction proceedings ?

Has she received a Bailiff's letter stating when they are arriving ?

Why has all her furniture gone in to storage already ?

The Local Authority are right, she has to be evicted by the Bailiff
then she goes to their offices
and gets put into temp accommodation

Why are the children upset - what on earth has she been telling them ?!

The children should be protected by the mother until the last minute, and even then they can go and visit Granny for the morning
they cannot stay with Granny as you will then find the council has no legal duty to house the mother, so she must turn up with the children to the accommodation offered.

If I were your friend I'd move in with my mother and continue to try and rent privately rather than rely on the local authority. As you say she may end being housed in a dinghy hotel or HMO, and who would like that for their children? She could also apply for a council house or. housing association rental. Being a single mother with 3 children she should end up high on the waiting list. But in the short term I'd definitely move in with family.

She might be better trying to move to an area with lower rents so that the required guarantor income is lower.

For now though sadly she does need to refuse to leave and go through eviction process to be made homeless.

How the council will house her won't be nice though, it will be emergency accommodation like a b&b and no guarantee near kids schools etc. Better to move in with grandma and save money to offer a landlord 6m rent up front etc.

She will get temporary accommodation I'd she stays put though. She needs to follow the advice she's been given by the council.

Is she employed OP?

Female asylum seekers get housed with the same bunch of "illegal single males" that you deem unacceptable for this young woman. So why are you bringing migrants into this when the situation is obviously not comparable?

In all honesty, this woman and her mum made a lot of bad choices that have led up to this situation. You being outraged doesn't help much and the state isn't there to bail out people who knowingly made unwise life decisions (eg having multiple children with a man they are not married to). You can argue that asylum seekers turn up and get housed because they never had an alternate option. People born and who grew up in the UK don't get the same "privileges" because the government assumes they have a default safety net like having family, friends, relatives, savings, language, education etc.