Helping a Desperate Young Woman

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Not really a "AIBU" but I am unsure where to put this for the most traffic and I truly want to help this young family - please stay with me for this long message. The people in question are unable to post this as they don't want to be outed.

I am writing on here to ask if anyone has any advice or experience in being made homeless. | am asking for a very good friends daughter and her 3 children. She was given notice 3 months ago to vacate the house she rents and has done for the last 7 years, both with her ex-partner and latterly, on her own with the children. The Landlord said he was selling it but we suspect because of the new Landlord / Tenant Act which is due but no proof.

She has since been unable to find a private let because they are all asking for a guarantor who has an income of £52,000+, despite having impeccable references. She also has a deposit of around £1500. Unfortunately the Estate Agents have been unable to help her

The LA have been useless, despite making all the right noises - coos and lots of "I'm so sorry" etc but no actual help. She was basically told to sit tight until the bailiffs came because if she does anything else, she was making herself homeless. She can't possibly do this with 3 children as they would be so frightened. She has also had to put all her furniture in storage as the Landlord wants the keys by the weekend and she has had to abide or lose her deposit. What an absolute nonsense piece of advice to give a single mum with 3 children 10 years and under! Even wrote to our MP who just reiterated everything the LA has told her. She has been told she cannot bid for a council house for at least 12 weeks. Her mother is a single lady, (my BF) aged 73, pensioner who only has her pension available to her. She cannot put them up as the LA have said, again, they won't help if she has somewhere to stay, despite the fact that her mother would lose her single occupancy and UC if she allows her daughter and 3 children to stay. The LA said they may put her in a hotel but couldn't tell her where - they said it could be in the next county! These children have school to go to when the new term starts. She could end up in a hotel full of illegal single males on her own with 3 children. How ridiculous

She has dragged herself up over the last few years since her partner left, even starting her own business which is keeping her head above water - for now.

The children's father is refusing to help. They were not married and the money he gave her was not ordered by court order, so a Landlord will not accept this as a guaranteed part of her income. He has now married, taken on 2 step children and, because of this, the CSA have reduced her payments by around £70 PM. (He contacted the CSA when she asked for a little help to find a new property as rents had increased considerably - we know he hasn't be truthful to them but have no proof - he has played a blinder and is now controlling everything.

Her father is no longer in her life

She has to hand over the keys to her present house on Sunday and has no idea what she is going to do. She is scared, frightened and broken. The children are very upset and this is affecting them in ways I won't describe on here. Her mother is beside herself, crying and also broken - this is her daughter and her grandchildren

And yes, I will say it - Illegal Migrants are housed as soon as they arrive in this Country, given all the help and assistance they require - even giving them money and driving lessons, - hotels in Swindon full of them and yet this poor girl is getting no help at all until she is on the streets - and then the most basic of assistance.

If you can help with any advice or if anyone has been through similar and can help with their experiences, then please do let me know. I will print out all responses for her so that she can follow up as many tips as you may have

Thanks for taking the time to read through this. I am so angry

Could she temporarily move in with her mother while she continues to look for a private let?

it doesn’t sound like council support will be quick so it may be better for her to do this?

TBH I think the children are her "trump card".

They MUST be housed if homeless so if they are at grannies their Mum will drop down the list surely?

I've watched so many of these programmes and the Bailiffs always tell the adult to take clothes, medicines and paperwork for a couple of days and present themselves to the Council offices as homeless - WITH the children.

Sadly it is a kind of game and she needs to learn how to play it.

Jesus Christ, why isn’t she listening? She absolutely must not hand back the keys and leave. She needs to wait until she’s evicted and that could be some considerable time. It took my friend 18 months to evict her tenant who wasn’t paying rent. She will not lose her deposit. I’ll put money on the landlord expecting this anyway. She should just continue to pay rent until it’s gone through court. Tell her to take her stuff out of storage and put it back. If she rings Shelter, which is the best bet, they will say the same.

What's racist about stating that there's migrants in hotels?? There's one in the town along from me with hundreds of them.

She must have known that in the seven years she has been renting that the rug could be pulled out from under at any given time?

That’s seven years to set in place a plan B.

I think people would be willing to give more advice if you didn’t add in the casual racism…
You're making your thread sound like a fake goady thread rather than being made to help someone with a genuine dilemma.

What I would do is send the DC to my Mums for a holiday (that won’t effect her single person status, you are allowed visitors) and stay put, ask landlord to evict, ask in advance.

She really does have to stay put if she wants the council to house her. It will take quite a long time for the LL to evict her. The bailiffs will be kind to her and tell her where to go when she is evicted.

She needs to negotiate with the landlord to get an extension and he needs to process the correct court order so she isn’t intentionally homeless. As long as she continues to pay her rent she cannot be given a ccj. Any decent landlord will know they need to give the correct paperwork.

in the meantime I suggest she puts requests out via every means eg local facebook group, the estate agents again and look for direct contact landlords not using agents - there are good ones out there who will take her, it’s just finding them. Ultimately though the council will house her but it is likely to be hotel rooms for a while

As many others have said, she needs to follow the LA’s advice. She will not lose her deposit as her landlord doesn’t have it. Why would she get a CCJ? You are making this way more complicated. Someone can look after the children the day the bailiffs come. They will be used to handling these kind of situations.

The local authority rules are as stated by others, she must wait for the bailiffs and then take the eviction notice to the local authority and they will provide temporary accommodation. As hard as it is, she must stay put otherwise the local authority will find her intentionally homeless and discharge their duty to house her. Bailiffs in this situation have seen it all before, she can have the children stay with granny for the day of the eviction but they must be present at the temporary accommodation or again the local authority will discharge their duty.
As a correction, immigrants are not housed by the local authority, they are housed by the home office, often in extremely grotty hotels with multiple children in one room with no cooking facilities. It's a different part of a local authorities budget which deals with immigration so there's no point comparing homelessness with immigration as they can't dip into each others budget pots no matter how much they may wish to. Please don't assume that all migrants are 'illegal' they arrive in this country and the process can take a long time, they can be moved anywhere in the country at a moments notice (this includes those invited to claim asylum here because their husbands assisted the British army in Afghanistan) Its not the asylum seekers fault that our system for processing applications is way behind and broken. They are not entitled to work and have no recourse to public funds. Again, this isn't down to local authorities not helping homeless people, but different budgets for different things

No racism. The overwhelming majority of those 63 will be young men. Young men in large groups, far from home and in an unpredictable situation, are NOT suitable neighbours for a young woman with three young children. You know this really.

She needs to do exactly what the council says. And get her furniture back out of storage. Bailiffs won’t be there for months yet.

Exactly this. I've been in this woman's position, although with one child not 3. The LA advice is correct and must be followed if she hopes to get social or housing association housing. When you see bailiffs on TV programmes they are always screaming and bashing down doors. This is worst case scenario drama. In real life the bailiffs are usually calm and understanding, especially where children are involved. They will know why the young woman has not moved out prior to their arrival and, unless she barricades herself in or has to be dragged out, then it will be a transactional process. That's my experience anyway.

Can she reframe it for the kids? If they’re already scared or upset what on earth has she been sharing with them! She needs to confide in other adults not her kids I’m afraid.

it really is the only option to stay put if she’s unable to support/house herself.

I would explain to the kids “we can’t stay here, we are going to stay somewhere temporarily and then find a new home, it will be an adventure and we will know it’s time for the adventure when the staff/helpers/bailiffs pop round
as above they are humans doing a job, if you’re polite and ready to go they’ll not give you any bother!

Then when it’s bailiff day you head with overnight bags to council office not making it a drama in front of kids. Just a chore ro be done essentially. Kids will massively pick up on an adults attitude to something.

Nothing per se, if Op wasn’t bringing the hotels in when they’re completely irrelevant to the situation she’s posting about.

Why people think these migrants are interested in their kids is beyond me.

The children don't have to see it. She can get evicted whilst they're not there.
Once evicted she can go straight to the council to be temporarily housed.
She doesn't have to private rent so the CCJ won't matter in that regard.
A social home is a forever home and worth this short-term upset.

She won’t be put up the room next to them, though, will she?! Asylum hotels (like the one in my town) are given over to asylum seekers. You know this really.

And if we want to get into it, the man who masturbated at me on a train was I was 15 was white. The man who put his hand up my skirt in the lift was white. Not all brown people are sexual predators. You know this really.

Missed the comment about immigrants - totally necessary OP. Not cool. On the off chance this is genuine, as I and everyone else says, she needs to stay put so her landlord goes through the courts. Why would her kids witness the eventual bailiff eviction? She’ll be told when that happens and presumably would have vacated that morning.

Why would she get a CCJ though? She needs to continue to pay her rent. No one would suggest she doesn’t.

Are you really saying that renters in this country constantly have to have a plan B? Do you know how many renters there are in the UK?! This smacks of victim-blaming.

if she stays she''ll be able to rent HA or council home.

Her children need not be there when bailiffs arrive. They won't get heavy as she'll be leaving willingly. Unfortunately, it's part of the insane process.

There would be a court hearing before an eviction and this might take a few months anyway. This'll give her time to make a plan.

She really needs to stay & not handover the keys to the landlord. She can bring some items back to the house.

That’s not how it works. A final offer of accommodation from the council could be another private rented property. She is also likely to spend a long time in emergency then temporary accommodation. We are in the middle of a housing crisis social housing is in short supply

I think the problem stems from it all being single men. Many years ago there used to be (what we would now call) an HMO near to us. It was full of blokes on their own, probably about 70 of them. They were all white Britsh. The neighbourhood became decidedly uncomfortable and in some cases less safe for women and girls. After lots of petitioning etc the place was closed down.